


The Road Less Traveled

by PeroxideMermaid



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Regina's journey of self discovery, Robin tour guide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-19 01:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 76,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13694019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeroxideMermaid/pseuds/PeroxideMermaid
Summary: "...Time to discover who I am. Time to discover a whole new world full of possibilities with my very own eyes. I am ready to leave the past behind, I am ready to fall in love with life." For Regina Mills life has been hurling down a spiral. Between her depression and condescending people, she found a little ray of light in a tiny journal. What will happen next?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I originally posted on FF. The idea came from my love of writing journals. It touches issues like anxiety, depression, loss, hope and love. I am trying my very best to make this story be helpful to those who suffer from certain mental health illness. I do hope you guys enjoy this journey, this story is very close to my heart!

The road less traveled.

"We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that you now, may be the very reason why you don't something better." – C. JoyBell.

|xXx|

It is easy to allow yourself to be chained to the daily routine. Wake up, get dress, get coffee, go to work, return home, eat, take a shower, go to sleep and repeat the cycle all over again on a different day of the week.

And the next day.

And the next day.

Until you hit the reset button and it is Monday again.

A never-ending cycle of boring repetition that doesn't take you anywhere. Never knowing when this endless rotation of repetition will finally come to a stop. Sleeping may be the only thing that's different every night, dreams that is. Some nights they are mellow and peaceful and other night they are just plain evil with a hint of spite and sadness.

That is how it has been for Regina for the last few years. Ever since she moved from New York to LA, her life has been a chain of same motions capable of making anyone insane. She wonders why she hasn't lost her marbles yet. How she hasn't been declared incapable of continuing this cycle that fills her head with nothing more than nonsense.

But about those dreams.

The peaceful ones involve a stranger. Kind blue eyes, soft but callous hands that with a single touch or a mere simple look, Regina, can see the secret of the universe and so much more beyond the walls she always built around herself to keep at bay anything that could hurt her.

The evil ones always involved Daniel. His death. The blood on her hands. That one faithful night that completely alter the course of her life, forever. It had been almost five years since his passing but the pain feels so fresh, her heart is raw and every night when he barges into her dream world is like salt is being poured on top of her heart and she relives that moment all over again.

It hurts each day a little more.

But life goes on, with or without her so it is best to get in the times and move forward. That's probably why she took the drastic decision of moving across the country where she didn't know anyone. A place where she won't have to endure the pitiful stare and condescending words that simply drove Regina into madness. A place where every pair of eyes she saw were brand new for her, eyes that didn't hold the same amount commiseration that drove her to leave in the first place. Everyone back home who knew about her, about Daniel, about the depression afterwards treated her like a broken doll beyond repair. But she isn't fragile, she isn't a ragdoll who can easily be destroyed by a pair of sharp scissors. Yet, it was getting hard to change people's mind. They had engraved in their heads that she is to be treated with tweezers with the utmost care in the world like she would shatter with just one look.

That just wouldn't cut it for Regina anymore.

One day she requested a transfer to  _anywhere_ where her face was considered of a stranger _._ The farther the better and well Los Angeles, California had an opening. So she took that chance and never looked back.

Five years later, she  _still_ felt stuck in the same loop of tiredness and repetition.

It hit her like a sense of restlessness that quickly slowed her down on daily basis. At first she didn't paid mind to it, probably because the work load was heavy (Comes with the territory of being a corporate attorney). But then, time off came and it only intensified. That feeling inside her chest compressed her heart and that is when the nightmares began. Regina wanted to blame it all on her past lover whose soul is resting in peace (or so she hopes) but even she knows that would be a selfish accusation. Putting all of her misfortunes on a dead person was far fetch, even for her. Mills has yet to discover what brought upon her such a heavy feeling, though she has her suspicions.

Loneliness.

Sadness.

Attachment to which is no longer there to be hold by her or be hold by him.

A sense of dread about the future.

Or simply the fear of being forever alone in the wide, vast world.

All good motives to feel like dragging her feet everywhere she goes but it was overbearing and it was  _imperative_ that feeling left her for good. How is she to make that happened? The answer will come when Regina least expects it.

Or at least she hopes.

|xXx|

Typical Monday morning spent in her office going through mountains and mountains of paperwork that slowly shrinks announcing that her job is getting done. Regina always been a hard worker. She learned her way around words and contracts from a very young again. Spending her time with her mother, Cora Mills and her business partner Ulysses Gold had taught her a thing or two about the business world. Oddly enough she enjoyed it despite the fact that Regina went head to head with her mother. Both Mills had a different approach on everything. Vocation, life and even in what color of clothing was suited best for them. Suffice to say they clashed in every aspect of their lives and Regina couldn't live with someone who's sole purpose was too pick on everything she did and what she didn't do. Come her eighteen birthday and her entrance to university, Regina was finally able to put some distance between them.

But not even then she could put distance between her insecurities that took root on Regina after years and years of being in her mother's prolonged cruel and unjust treatment. Leaving behind scars that never seem to heal. Regardless of that, in her work place, the brunette had made great use of all those skills that were learned from her mother; gaining her a full respect of her colleagues.

Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Another hour passed by as lunch rounds the corner. Regina had managed to get most of everything done and she feel very pleased with herself. As she closed the files and her laptop a knock is heard. Her head snapped up, brow raising up quickly. Usually everyone would just announce themselves to her secretary, Annie, but there always that one person who liked to forgo protocols and that person was none other than, "Malorie, you can come in." Regina spoke up, leaning back on her leather chair, an amuse look ready on her countenance. The door swung open, revealing a stylish blonde in a power suit and her trademark fedora resting upon her head.

Malorie Von Brandt, her business partner and oddly enough her best friend. They had met five years ago when Regina first came into the company as part of the legal department. The head of that department, the blonde in her presence, had gone all about the protocols the company uses  _before_ utilizing the legal resources. Over all, the Blanchard trading company had the greatest legal team any had seen before and naturally they jump the gun when Regina required a transferred from the Gold buffet in New York. Malia, or Mal for short, had invited the brunette for dinner the exact same day of her hiring. The human resources secretary, Ashley Boyd, had informed Regina that Miss Von Brandt did this to seize up the people that are to work with her. At first the brunette had felt slightly nervous, a welcome feeling to all the range of negative emotions she had felt. Why? Nerves are a way to wake you up. It was a way for your body to remind you that, in fact, you are alive and in need of something, a shot of adrenaline to keep that life pumping, and that was in fact what Mal made her feel. Alive and on her feet, exactly what she needed. Five years later they have become quite close, and even now Mal was a shot of fresh air even with the sarcasm, dark humor and her slight murderess intent that was rarely shown but really don't cross her. She isn't called Dragon Lady for nothing anyway.

"Your secretary wasn't on her station." Mal spoke with a suave tone, leisurely moving to one of the chairs in front of the oak desk where she sat down, taking off her fedora.

"That hasn't stopped you before from knocking on the door or simply barging in." Regina shot back, matter-of-factly, gaining herself a slight nod of acknowledgement from the blonde. "So what is it this time?" A perfectly manicured brow rose, her body swaying to accommodate herself better in her leather chair. The leather stuck to her skin and the harshness of it left red patches. Regina made a mental note to get a new chair before she gains a deformity.

"Lunch." The blonde simply responded.

"Lunch?" Regina echoed, "You usually send me a text for that. Why is it any different today?"

The way Mal's body bristled told the brunette that something happened and she wants to talk about it but first... "What did you do?"

"Nothing." She was quick to reply, actually a little too quick and it had Regina smirking, broad and knowingly, it could only mean one thing.

"Oh my God!" Mills exclaimed. "Cruella happened."

Color drained from her company's face but it was quickly recovered in a shade of crimson. Mal looked quite flushed and Regina started to enjoy it, immensely. "That's none of your business, Miss Mills." The blonde shook her head, standing up quickly but not without grace. "So lunch yes or no? Or should I tell Sidney that you finally accept going out with him?" Now it was Mal's turn to smirk while Regina fixed a glare on the other woman. Sidney Glass was probably the most annoying of her co-workers. Every day for the past five years he had invited Regina out and every day she had politely declined. You would have guessed he would take the hint by now but he returns with a fresh wave of determination each and every day. Though Regina had to command him for that, his dedication of making something happen was as strong as iron. Too bad Regina had closed off her heart on that particular front (And many others) forever.

"That's low." Regina muttered, her too standing up from her place with an exasperated sigh. "Let's get something to eat." The brunette picked up her things, phone, purse and sunglasses, before making sure everything else was on its place. The computer was off, the files were neatly organized and her meetings were right on schedule, so going out to eat was possible.

"It is your own fault." Malorie announced with a smirk as she put on her fedora once more. Regina tilted her head, looking at her friend with narrow eyes. Lunch is bound to be interesting indeed.

"Whatever." Walking around the desk, Mills placed the strap of her purse over the right shoulder, topic already forgotten. "So the usual place?" When Malorie shook her head no, Regina rose her brow, sign that the blonde was quick to read and explain. "My friend opened a restaurant a few weeks ago and I was waiting for the buzz to dial down before going." She explained whilst walking to the door, dainty hand reaching for the knob. "It is Mediterranean cuisine so it should be an interesting afternoon."

Mills simply shrugged, following behind Mal without any type of complain to which Malorie had to comment on.

"You are just going with it?" She asked, her tone half amused, half curious. Regina had a thing against changing things. She only accepted the changes that were extremely necessary, moving to LA was one of them and it was a good one. At least now she isn't drowning in the shadow of memories that will never be again. But other type of changes like the brand of cereal she eats, the sleeping on a stranger bed or ever this mere act of changing restaurant for just one day she felt uncomfortable with. Nevertheless, Regina doesn't fight, not with Mal anyway.

"Do I have a choice?" A brow quirks up like a perfect work of art. "I'm going to end up doing it anyway. You are a bad influence."

Malorie laughed wholeheartedly, shaking her head in amusement. "You just can't say no to me." Her hands shot up to fix her fedora –more like to make sure it was perfectly in place –shoulders slumping a bit.

"Let's just go before I change my mind."

"As you wish Your Majesty."

|xXx|

"Gezz, for being a few weeks opened, it sure is full." Mal commented as they sat down on one of the tables that were beside the window. It had taken a good fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant. It wasn't very far from their workplace and Regina relaxed. Their favorite place to eat was relatively far but the food was so good that she never fought against it but knowing this place was closer by, sent relief coursing through Regina's veins, still it was a new place there was a little thorn of restlessness within her.

"I can see why." Regina accommodated her skirt after draping one leg over the other. "Oddly enough, you can feel like you're in the middle of the forest." And how couldn't she? All the shade of green around the place, the wooden tables and chair, the painting of trees and more tree on the walls gave it a unique aura. It even smelt like forest in here and she vaguely wonders how does she even know that? But she likes the scent. It is calming and she finds it that any trace of anxiousness left her, just like that. Though, Regina's words had caught Mal by surprise, actually her whole demeanor did and she wondered what would happen if her two friends, the restaurant owner and Regina met. Maybe that should occur. The blonde's train of thought was interrupted by a waitress (Though she didn't look like one and she looked quite familiar.) with far too much enthusiasm for her taste but she supposes it is part of selling.

"Welcome to Valiant Hoodlum." The brunette smiled to the pair, "I am Belle and I'll be your waitress for the afternoon since all our waiters are booked. Here are your menus."

Mal called it.

Regina nodded at the brunette, already opening the menu to take a peek inside. The array of dishes surprised Mills, and it was hard to pick one but the moment she reached the pastas she was sold. "I will have a Pesto Di Basilico with a glass of wine." She closed the menu afterwards she handled it back to her waitress.

"Excellent choice." Belle chirped, taking the menu back. "That is the specialty here. The owner supervised all the dishes but that particular one has his own secret recipe. You are going to love."

Regina didn't say anything, just nodded, something akin to a smile taking place on her lips.

"Then I'll have the same." Mal gave the brunette the menu back. "Also, is the owner here?"

Belle shook her head. "Sadly no. My brother is on a sabbatical."

Ah she knew the girl was familiar.

"When is he returning?" The blonde asked.

"We aren't sure. He asked me to send him a few things. Right now he is in India so god knows when he's returning." Belle gave the pair an apologetic smile. "I'll go place your orders. I'll be back with wine." The younger brunette left the pair alone.

Regina could see disappointment colored her countenance. It was strange to see Mal like that, she had low expectation on human being to be honest and she rarely got disappointed, save with her daughter but that didn't occur much. "What's wrong?" Mills asked, leaning back into her chair that was surprisingly comfortable.

"I'd hope to see him today." A beat of silence passed through the pair. "I suppose my luck is lacking."

Oh wow, that's something you don't hear every day.

"An ex-lover of yours?" Regina suggested nonchalantly, feeling a tinge tense? Nah, it is just her imagination.

Mal gawk at the brunette for a few seconds, not really quite sure what gave Regina that idea but then she laughed, brushing it away. "He wished." The blonde muttered with a grin. "He's just a really old friend. Haven't seen him in years. The only reason I even knew he was opening a restaurant was because he called me about a month ago. You see, if you didn't notice by his sister accent, they aren't from here." Regina 'ohh' softly, but not in a mocking matter. The brunette found herself quite interested in her friend's story. So she nodded softly, prompting Malorie to continue. "We met about fifteen years ago when I went to London on my first actual vacation. He's a photographer, a free spirit really. When we met, he was taking pictures of every woman he lay eyes on. When he took my picture I was so angry but he apologized and decided to erase the photo. We got to talking and realize he was actually quite a nice guy who didn't run away from my bad tempter." Mal laughed as the memory ran through her head like a kodek moment. That was one of her favorite vacations ever. She got to know London behind Robin's camera lense and it gave her a unique experience that would never be repeated, and it never was. "After that we kept in contact. We talked every day and even video chatted but after he fell in love and I started working for Blanchard things gotten hard to keep in contact but we try to talk once in a while."

Regina was genuinely perplexed. She known Mal for five years now but this was actually the first time, ever, that had heard the blonde taking so carefree. It was like her friend had been transported to that memory she was speaking off and that young soul took over her body for the briefs minutes she reminisced about that particular life changing moment. Mills wanted to ask his name, to get to know the person who made Malorie be so light.

Well that was new.

But alas, she was interrupted by the same brunette with a cheerful voice.

"The best wine." She filled the empty glasses on the table.

"Don't tell me Sequoia Grove Cambium." Mal rose a brow in tandem with her glass, giving it a slow swirl.

Belle brow rose to her hairline, nodding softly. "Yes, exactly. Are you a wine connoisseur?" She asked placing the bottle down.

"No, but I know your brother well enough to deduce." She laughed.

And Belle grinned. "I keep telling him that's a bottle you share with a lover but he keeps insisting that the best bottle you share with a lover is the one the lady chooses." The brunette sighed. "At least chivalry isn't dead."

Regina looked at the both of them, speaking like they've known each other since forever and she begins to wonder about that man they both have in common in their lives. Must be quite the amazing person to have such high regard with her friend that sometimes seems too cold, unnatural to the world just like a dragon.

"Regina?" She heard the blonde call, and the brunette shook her head. Regina must have been spacing out because the worried expression etched to the woman across her said as much.

"Yes?" Mills responded back in the singular tone of a question and Mal sighed.

"I asked for your opinion on the wine." Straightening her back she added, "You are the only other person I know who has exquisite taste in wine. I wanted to know your honest opinion on it."

The brunette 'ohh' softly, taking a sip of her crimson liquid, this time actually paying attention to the rich taste it provided for her taste buds. It had a firm feel to it. Not to astringent, just right. The perfect blend between the fruits and tannin. Regina would dare to say it was rather perfect for her. "This is actually quite nice." She muttered, placing the glass down on the smooth surface her hands safely tucked over her lap. Her eyes traveled from the blonde sitting right across her and the beautiful brunette beaming at her with excitement.

"No one could ever resist it." Belle announced, feeling quite proud. "When it comes to wine, my brother is quite talented." As if something came into her mind, the brunette stood up straight, bobbing her head. "I need to see if your food is ready." With that said, Belle left the two woman alone.

Regina could feel Mal looking at her intently, like there was a question running wild in her head waiting to be called forth by her red lips so before Mal had a chance to do so, the brunette stood up, fixing her pencil skirt. "I'll be right back. I need to use the ladies room." That didn't mean Malorie was going to give up on what she had in mind, but it would give Regina time to compose herself.

"Fine don't take too long there is something I wish to discuss with you."

Mills simply nodded, heading to down the path that would lead her to the restroom.

As she strode down, the brunette bumped into one of the waiters that was carrying a box.

"I'm so sorry." The boy, no older than nineteen apologized and Regina wave a hand dismissively and the boy smiled, resuming his journey to whatever part of the restaurant he was heading. With a soft sigh and pinched of her nose, Regina was about to head into the bathroom when something on the floor capture her attention. Kneeling down, she picked it out quickly giving it a quick scan. It was a leather bound book of some sorts, with the initials 'RL' and the words 'Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.' engraved on the front.

"Must have fallen from that box…" She muttered, already prepared to find the waiter and returned it but the softness of the leather and the way her fingers almost  _affectionately_ ran over the letters filled Regina with curiosity. Maybe peeking inside won't be so bad, right?

She quickly entered the bathroom, locking the door behind her before unbounding the leather lace keeping the book closed. The moment she opened it she realized it wasn't a book but rather a personal journal. The same letters from the front were written down at the corner of the first page, a rather pristine calligraphy capturing her attention. Regina knows she shouldn't be prying in other people's business like this. That she should simply return it to its rightful owner but the moment she read the first sentence Mills was hooked.

_October 13, 2010_

_Death is a funny thing you know. It hurts so much to see someone you love go, but knowing how much that person was suffering in life thanks to a terminal illness, somehow death, gives you some sort of peace. I don't intent to romanticize it like so many before me have already done, I lack the words to do so although I don't like the pain that is every day more incrusted in my soul. Now that I think about it, these words feel like they are coming from dead man making it's way in the living world but I'll be honest, it isn't like that at all. True watching her die, watching the light in Marian's eyes disappear killed me in some degree and I will never deny the pain that brings into my life but that same day was when I as reborn again._

_Rebirth by death… Quite funny indeed._

_For a while I was lost, and I really didn't understand her last words for me._

_Move on._

_Explore that vast, infinite world._

_She told me to do all those things I've been dying to do. (I know, poor choice of words.) To simply make her proud by being happy. By finding love again and living life to the fullest. No regrets, no looking back not even to take impulse. To simply gathered the courage to begin again in a world ruled by fears and darkness. To put my hand in the grasp of freedom and allow the breeze to take me flying like the clouds in the sky._

_And I intent to._

_Today marks two whole months since Marian's passing and I am finally ready to pick up my bag, safely tuck this leather journal under my arm and begin my new adventure as a gypsy. Time to discover who I am. Time to discover a whole new world full of possibilities with my very own eyes. I am ready to leave the past behind, I am ready to fall in love with life._

The moment Regina finished reading that first entry, of many, her heart hammered hard against her ribcage. It was like she was seeing the light for the very first time in forever thanks to simple words written down with such fervor. There was someone out there, living life to the fullest, pushing back the darkness that death brings into someone's life. Ready to pick up the pieces and create a brand new picture, a brand new masterpiece. She vaguely wonders if she will ever be brave enough to do something so radical like that. Leave everything behind and simply live. She did something similar, moving to LA was a big step for her but she only really did it because she had a job waiting, an apartment.

A safety net.

Mills never, ever did something out of character. To dance the whole night away or kiss a stranger to never see again. She always kept herself behind the line where her safety features would kick in if anything got too rough. Regina hasn't ever tried to fall in love with life again.

A knock is heard behind her, making the brunette jump a tinge. How long has she been inside the restroom? Shaking her head and putting the not too big journal inside the pocket of her blazer, Regina washed her hands and made her way out. There was a woman waiting once she opened the door, the brunette gave a terse smile before moving out of the way and heading to the table.

When she arrived where Mal and her were seated, the food had already arrived and just at the nick of time. Oddly enough, Regina felt quite hungry all of a sudden. Maybe it was the emotional stress that had her wanting to eat more (Which is weird, normally it was the other way around.) but whatever it was, the brunette was glad. The moment she sat down, the blonde looked at her with a raised brow.

"Took you long enough. I was afraid you got flushed down the drain." She reached for her silverware before adding. "Belle said the bottle is ours to take if we so desire. I say we take it, wouldn't want Robin to call me out for not taking his generous offer."

Regina's eyes flew up in an instant at the mention of that name. "Robin?" the brunette inquired with curiosity.

"Robin of Locksley, the owner of the restaurant and Belle's brother."

Robin Locksley… RL… It couldn't be, right?

Regina was in possession of Robin's journal.

She should say something, give it to his sister to return. Her hand flew to her pocket, grasping the journal tight in her hands. No, not yet.

Mills finds herself unable to do the right thing. For some inexplicable reason she wants to keep reading. To know this man more and feel that exact same feeling she experienced upon reading that first entry. She expelled a breath, letting go of the little life story in her pocket and starting to eat.

Malorie studied Regina's behavior intently, wanting, desperately so, to know what's going inside her head but knowing well how reserved Regina is, it would take some time to get to know more. So she cleared her throat, placing down the fork.

"Oh there is something I need to inform you off." The blonde began, dainty fingers wrapping around the of the wine glass which she takes a generous sip off. Regina simply nodded, acknowledging that she is listening to her friend as she continues eating. Mal is aware that her friend won't like what she is about to say, but the more she stretched this the worse it would get. "Leonard Blanchard is demanding you take vacation time."

Regina froze for a moment, raising a brow in the brunette's direction. "Demanding?" She placed down the silverware, leaning back into the chair. "He may be my boss but he cannot demand anything of me… Especially when I know the tone he used when he first spoke to you about this." She shook her head. "I will take them when I see fit, not when he wants me to."

"Regina you know well you aren't in great terms with him." Malorie supplied with an annoyed sigh, to this day she remembers how Regina walked into her office positively fuming thanks to Leo.

"Well, he should know better." Mills said with an annoyed tone of her own. "He is lucky I haven't accused him of arrestment."

"Case you would lose. He has the money to buy a judge."

"But his reputation would be ruined." She shot back with a loud groan. And there goes her appetite.

"Just take the vacations." The blonde tried to convinced her friend but Regina was too stubborn to bend her arm and say a simple 'yes'.

"No!" Regina exclaimed with a finality in her voice that told this conversation was over. But she added one last thing, "And if he brings this up again then he can consider giving me my liquidation because I'll quit and he will have to look for a better attorney than me. Easy as pie."

It isn't like she hasn't thought about it before. Quitting her job in the Blanchard company has been on her mind for a while. Is not like she needs the money anyway, she needed her time to be filled so she won't notice the loneliness she is living in but it didn't matter, working didn't made a difference so maybe just maybe this is a wakeup call. Time to get rid of everything weighing her down. To pick up her things and simply leave. She thought of the journal in her pocket, burning a hole in her blazer and she wondered…

Can she be like Robin? Pack her things and go on her own personal journey? To get to know the world, to get know herself better? Can she be brave enough to cut the strings that attached her like a puppet to darkness and go in search of a breath of life, of light?

"You know what?" She said after a long moment of thinking in silence. "Let him know I'm quitting. I'll send him a week notice letter so he can start his search. I'm tired of him."

I'm tired of this life and it is time to finally be reborn again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_October 16, 2010_

_When I was a Little boy, my father gave me my first book, Life's little instruction book. It had hundreds and hundreds of suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a happy, rewarding life. I remember that the first suggestion was to compliment three people every day. At first it seemed silly. Personally, I didn't know what complimenting a person would provide me with but curiosity was stronger and I commenced my very own experiment. First off, my mother, Helena. I remember going up to my mother and telling her that every time she smiled my insides got all warm and fuzzy that I loved seeing her happy because it made me feel happy and that wasn't a lie. That day I saw the greatest smile of all. I didn't think it was possible to love someone's smile so much, but I did, and I still do. Next up it was my sister, Belle. You see, when we were kids my sister had her fears. She was adopted, and she always was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She waited for the day their parents would send her back to where she came from because she didn't feel good enough for her. So, on my quest of discovery, I had a little stop in her room. Like always, Belle was reading (She was, still is an avid reader) and well I say beside her. We always gotten along but that day, after his words they cemented more than their ties, but their friendship as well. To this day I still remember what I told her: "You are the greatest gift my parents could possibly give me. They gave me not only a sister but also a best friend whom I will cherish from the day you were brought her until forever." Like mom, they emotions behind her eyes was something that could never be put into words, nor the smile that made my heart grow ten times its original size. All I knew that from that moment on, Belle and I have been inseparable._

_And last but certainly not least, my father._

_It was strange at the beginning. My father and I never been the father and son duo who spoke of their feelings, or pointed out the perfection and flaws that were carrying, well I wasn't. So when it came to look for something good in my father it wasn't an easy task. It wasn't because I didn't love him, God knows I adore him with my entire soul but because for the first time I had to stop and search for all those qualities that made him such a great human being. With my mother and sister came easy because I always saw them doing good, striving for their beliefs and dreams, whilst with my father… Well he had gone incognito. But when I realized all the good things he did, how loving he was with us, his family, I wasn't able to give him a compliment but I did give him a tight hug. I thanked him for always being the beam of support in our family and most importantly for giving me high values, it was at that moment that I gave myself one really important task, to be like my father. A good husband, a good father, a good brother and a good friend._

_Today I am still trying to figure things out, andl it will take some time. But I haven't forgotten the simple things._

_Please and Thank you._

_Smile to make another person smile._

_And compliment three people daily._

_The simplest of actions can provoke the biggest of changes in people. Sometimes it takes time to see those changes, but they are there, slowly growing bigger and bigger until one day that person wakes up with a new outlook of life. Maybe that was the reason why I decided on this new path, to see the world, fill my lungs with air of new adventures and let go of the things bringing me down._

_I do hope I get to change more people as I over new lands, as I sore new heights._

_Even within myself. Maybe when I read this again I'll change if only just a bit._

_To my future self:_

_First step of recovery: Finally saying goodbye to the past._

_I do hope you are happy, and don't forget me while you take on another path. I'll be here as long as it takes to get it right._

-.-.-

Regina Mills had taken to read Robin's journal in the mornings. Just one entry daily and everything she did, something felt right. It was like hearing the right words, the moment she needed the most. Her plans of quitting were still on track though it was getting rather difficult to do so.

Quitting wasn't as easy as she thought. Leopold had managed to obstruct her path many times and Regina was honestly getting tired of this, of him.

Little note: She always been tired of him.

It wasn't like Mal wouldn't be able to handle the work, before her arrival to the company her blonde friend had managed everything with grace and ease. Their boss just wanted to raise hell. But Regina's patience was wearing thin and Malorie knew things weren't going to end well if Leo kept dragging this out. At first he had asked for another week since the decision of picking another attorney their same level needed to be taken with precaution then another, another one until Malorie realized Leo and his time didn't have any intention of letting go of Regina and well she needed to do something and there was only one person who could help.

Knocking on the blonde's door, Regina took a deep breath before entering. There she was, working her morning away like always. The brunette sat across from her, waiting for her friend to acknowledge her presence. All that could be heard was the 'tick-tock' of the clock and it was driving her insane. Another minute flew by and Regina was about to burst when Mal spoke.

"You are officially unemployed." But Malorie didn't look at her, just kept typing away and Regina knew there was something more there.

"How?" She asked, leaning forward to better read her friend's expression but when she didn't say anything else, didn't even grimace, Regina knew. "Oh I am so sorry…" Relaxing into the chair, the brunette gave an honest to good apologetic smile. "There must have been another way. I could have just asked Gold for help…"

"No." Mal finally looked up and there was no anger on her countenance. "You already owe that man much as it is, no need to add more to your tab, especially when your mother is looking for any excuse to get you back into New York."

She had a point there. Still, Regina felt a bit bad for her friend. "Cruella is going to work here too…" She pointed out, shaking her head. "I can't believe that you asked her to come here. I know Leopold had been trying for years and she always said no." It isn't like Regina or Mal dislike the woman but she was completely bonkers. Sure she got the job done but her methods were quite unorthodox, there was a huge chance that both woman were going to clash.

"Just make sure to actually accomplished your goal." There was a genuine feeling behind those words. Mal always been adamant that Regina finally got out of that lingering darkness and find something that could ease her. She always been aware of that depression that had the brunette locked within herself and for the first time since they met Regina was taking the reins of her life again, attempting to find happiness. Malorie couldn't go against that, sacrificing herself like this was nothing, especially when the end result would favorable for her best friend. "For the first time you want to do something that could benefit you, as a person and not the standards, not your mother, not society." She smiled, standing up from her place. Mal walked around the desk, leaning against it just in front of Regina where she quickly takes the brunette's hand. "I can handle Cruella, what I can't handle is seeing you spiral down depression." With a brief squeezed of her hand she added, "I'm truly happy you are doing this. I don't know where did this decision came from but I support you. Go travel, have fun be happy and when you come back we will have an amazing dinner and you can tell me everything about your adventures and maybe…" She let go of her hand, arms coming to cross over her chest, "…we can invite Robin to. I'm sure you two will have so much to talk about."

No she won't cry, no she won't. Even though her heart is fluttering thanks to Malorie, she won't. But that didn't mean she wouldn't hug her. And she did. Regina's arms were around the other woman quickly, smiling instead of crying. "Thank you." She muttered quietly, pulling back to look into those blue irises. "If one good thing came from me moving here, it was you. Thanks for being my friend."

And she finds herself really, truly, meaning those words that had passed her lips. For a long time, Regina hasn't really had a true friend. Someone that was genuinely concern for her. Back home – wait not home – back in New York everyone had looked at her with pity, it was a soul sucking feeling. But at the very moment she doesn't feel that way, because Malorie was being honest, she was being a true friend and in the end that's all she could ever asked for.

"Anything to not see you miserable." Mal chimed, hands on Regina's side giving a gentle squeeze. "Now, all you have to focus on is the places you want to visit."

Oh yeah that.

Regina grinned, nodding softly. She already had a list of the places she wants to visit, courtesy of Robin Locksley himself, well his journal anyway. But telling that to Mal wasn't a good idea. That would raise questions, questions she really doesn't feel like answering. So for the time being she'll keep quiet and see where the road leads her.

Dark is the way but for some reason she truly believes that light will be the destination and she cannot wait to get a taste of that.

"I have a pretty good idea of where I am going first."

-x-

The first rule of any kind of travel is that the destination, and even the purpose, of your trip is less important than the spirit you bring to it. Or at least that's what read somewhere when she was searching for plane tickets. It had been a hard task to say the least. With all the places she wanted to go, to experience, Regina had a hard time deciding on an order. But after hours of deliberating, careful consideration, of headaches and lots of coffee, the brunette finally decided and the first stop was Moraine Lake, Canada. Should be interesting saluting the friends of the north.

Regina had visited Canada once before with Daniel actually. The memories of that trip still fresh in her mind. Right after graduation, they decided to do something spontaneous. Usually couples would go to romantic cities in Europe but they wanted something different, something that they would always remember and oh boy that trip would never be forgotten.

" _Oh my God, Daniel." She squealed as the cold water trickled down her shivering body but even with the cold her smile didn't falter. Every second spent with Daniel was a blessing. He made her feel truly happy, complete. There was another splash of water her way but Regina was quick to dive into the water and start swimming. For a moment Daniel scanned the area, searching for Regina. When a long moment passed by and the brunette didn't emerge he panicked._

" _Regina?" He called, his voice edging into worry as he half turned to look behind him._

_Nothing._

" _Regina this isn't funny." But nothing, again. Okay now he was panicking for real. Daniel was about to dive and search for Regina when something, someone jumped on his back and covered his eyes._

" _Got you." She said with a laugh. Daniel on the other hand released a long, strangled breath and placed his hand on top of hers._

" _Are you crazy?" He gently turned to her, a scowl on his features._

_He looked sexy with it but he was angry. Well shit._

" _What?" Regina questioned with a raised brow her arms falling to the side. In that moment she took a second look to his face and no, it wasn't anger, it was worry. He was worry about her. It was just a prank but he didn't take it that way._

" _You shouldn't be doing things like that. What if something would had happened to you?" Callous hands covered her cheeks (They were extremely cold. He makes a mental note of getting out of the water soon before she fishes a cold.) his lips went thin as another breath left his lungs. "I couldn't bare losing you…" Daniel trailed off. The brunette gave him an apologetic smile and kissed his nose. There was something about that phrase that always left her speechless, and Regina always reciprocate with a kiss because words were impossible to uttered, especially when he brilliant crystal eyes shone with so much love. "And I mean it Regina."_

" _I know…" She muttered, closing her eyes briefly, her insides feeling warm and fuzzy, "I love you, Daniel."_

" _And I you, beautiful." He grinned as he leans forward to kiss her softly._

_He kissed her and the world just disappear. Soft and comforting, a tenderness that was beyond this world and the next. It was like a revelation, but kissing him always felt that way. Like secrets were spilling for only them to know. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb grazing her cheeks as their breath mingled, as they spoke of the love that lied beneath the surface and inside their hearts without the single use of superfluous words. She pulled him closer in desperate need to feel his heartbeat next to hers in search of memories, dreams, stories; blurring the lines between fantasy and reality until it is only them._

" _Regina…" it was but a whispered thing, whisked away by the wind in her ear like a soft caress of a cloud. Her eyes opened, finding deep blue hues that made the air in her lungs swirl like a storm. "Marry me…"_

The memory hit her like a train at three hundred miles for hours. Simply thinking about that moment her life turned for the better (if only for a short time) made her skin crawl, her eyes watered and her mind wish that he was here. Beside her, holding her close in his warm embrace. His absence felt like the sun had imploded leaving the world horribly cold. But it also reminded her of a song. His favorite one and it was impossible for Regina not to remember his voice as the lyrics flowed into her head.

_You gotta swim_

_And swim when it hurts_

_The whole world is watching_

_You haven't come this far_

_To fall off the earth_

_The currents will pull you_

_Away from your love_

_Just keep your head above_

_I found a tidal wave_

_Begging to tear down the dawn_

_Memories like bullets_

_They fired at me from a gun_

_A crack in the armor_

_I swim to brighter days_

_Despite the absence of sun_

_Choking on salt water_

_I'm not giving in_

_I swim_

A single tear fell down her cheek as she shook her head. It was not the time to allow memories to tear her down, not when she is so close to embark in a new journey. Daniel would want this for her, would want to see her off into the horizon, smiling and being happy. Though she had forgotten how to be happy, but that was the purpose of this trip. To find what she lost a long time ago. To give color to the mosaic that is her heart. Regina Mills had never been the one to quit and even with the crippling anxiety and depression that had taken root in her these last few years, she won't just give into without a fight. It's hard, Mills is quite aware of that. Some days are harder than others but today was one of those days where everything was bearable.

_First step of recovery: Finally saying goodbye to the past._

Those words ran through her head, tattooing themselves in her. Now there's only her ready to take off. That's what it matters. The hope, the journey's end, the promise that tomorrow will be better if only she believes it will.

By this time tomorrow LA would be left behind.

"Here I come Canada… Here I come brand new life."

Pain is real, but so is hope.

 


	3. Chapter 3

" ** _Fortis fortuna adiuvat."_**

**_Fortune favors the brave._ **

_October 20 2010._

_The first time I traveled out of London, my safety net, I was a nervous wreck. I had no idea what I was going to encounter, what kind of people I was going to meet and what new fears I was going to discover. But now it gets easier every time I have to leave a place. Maybe is the fact that I don't have any attachments to certain places but what makes it even more simple for me to take off is the promise of new people, new sceneries, new experiences that I would never experience anywhere else. To be able to see places that only in my dreams I could have imagined? I don't see a better incentive than that. That very first time I exposed myself to something different than a gloomy sky and raining afternoons had opened my eyes to a wide range of possibilities that'd been sitting in the back of my head. I still remember that moment when I stepped into France (So maybe I didn't want to go that far away from home for my first trip.) I was awestruck, albeit a tinge nervous (I lie I was complete sea or nerves.). Why did I pick a place where I didn't understand the language? Really, my French in high school was a total bust but then I realized why._

_The challenge._

_I needed to prove to myself that I was able to conquer the barriers that each country was going to throw my way. It was necessary to open up to a world of mysteries, to danger, the unknown that is bound to find me at any given moment without any type of announcement. For some inexplicable reason I was trying to teach myself something. What? Are you ready to find out? I needed to learn bravery even when I didn't feel strong enough to be it. Fortune smiles upon those who are brave to take a risk. To embark into the unknown even if it seems a little dangerous. To be brave, no matter how dark the night seems, morning always comes and our journey begins anew._

_Life doesn't last forever. That's why we have to help each other and live life to the fullest. Even if you say goodbye at some point, known that you'll always be in our hearts. Or something like that, Vivi Ornitier was too adorable for me to actually pay attention to the words but even if I was too bone head to listen carefully, I know that Vivi was being truthful. Woah, video games taught something. Anyway, good luck today, remember to smile, to say please and thank you and to stop, take a deep breath and just take one step at a time._

_Most importantly, be yourself, no more no less. Be perfect in your own world of flaws._

|xXx|

Sometimes she wonders if he meant those words to himself or was he aware that someone else might be reading his words. More often than Regina would like to admit, she found herself reading and re-reading the same entry at least four times a day. There was something comforting in his penmanship, the passion laced to each and every word and even in the silliness he put into it just to make the situation lighter, and it somehow made her feel lighter. And when she finds herself smiling at his words? It is a genuine surprise, maybe it has been such a long time Regina almost forgot how to smile.

All because of a stranger she doesn't even know. A stranger whose face is still a mystery and whose smile is certain to be an enigma to Regina. She supposed that calling Mal to ask for a picture could be possible but it isn't an option. Her blonde friend isn't aware that Robin's journal is in Mills grasp. Might be best if she spares herself the embarrassing explanation for the time being. What has been grinding Regina's gears was Robin's sister, Belle. Has she finally noticed that the journal was missing? Mills feels awful for not doing the right thing and giving it back when she needed to but now, as she thousands of miles up in the sky, swimming between the clouds, she can't really find it in herself to worry about the repercussion. If it wasn't for the leather covered words of wisdom, Regina would probably still be in a dead end job, cursing her boss and going over her routine over, and over, and over again until what little she had left of sanity disappear. She won't do well in an asylum.

The brunette yawned softly, eyes feeling tired from the lack of sleep and all the reading she did. Though sleeping is really not an option. Not when the attendant had announced they will be landing in about fifteen minutes. Oh, goosebumps ran across her from head to toe, dancing like they never had before. She was taking back control of herself, trusting a voice that only speaks to her through ink and passion. It had been such a long time since Regina was this excited. Her hand flexed against the leather journal still in her grasp as in taking more strength from the words that were safely tucked away. With one last look at it, Mills puts it back in her bag, puts on the seatbelt and simply waited. If you would have asked her three years ago what would she be doing, Regina would answer that she'll probably be home, drowning in paperwork, and she would do it all over again in the morning but from the discomfort of her office. But now? Well now every second is unpredictable and for the first time in her entire life, even before Daniel, she doesn't mind it. The unknown doesn't bother anymore.

"The only dependable about the future is uncertainty." She muttered as the pilot began announcing their descend to the runway. "But only those who try will become and uncertainty won't seem too scary."

|xXx|

Regina is extremely glad she didn't bring that much luggage. The baggage claim area was a total disaster. Everyone's bags were haggard and mistreated and the service had been poor. If she were to put a review the negative would outweigh all the positive, which it wasn't much to begin with. She was on the fast track to go outside when she remembers her phone was off. Regina reached for it in her coat pocket, turning it on almost as she got it out. Right off the bat it was flooded with texts and voicemails and that could only be one person. Checking the texts, Regina chuckled when a photo of Cruella had been sent by Mal. Apparently her new coworker had been a pain in the ass and she just started working there two days ago. As she walked to the outside of the airport, Mills dialed in the all too familiar number and in two beeps, Malorie was answering.

"Thank God." Regina heard on the other side, and that made the brunette chuckle.

"Since when do you believe in God?" The brunette asked, amusement laced onto her words.

"Since the moment I discovered that the devil was real."

Regina snorted a laugh, as the images of Mal's 'I'm about to kill.' Look flooded in the mind. The blonde had an amazing poker face but when it came to Cruella it failed, completely. "To think you are in love with that woman…" The brunette commented casually and she could feel the blonde eye roll creating a storm somewhere in LA.

"I'm not." She tried, "And that's beside the point. Have you ever heard the expression 'Don't defecate where you work'?"

"Have you?" Regina counter back with triumphant smirk.

"Point taken." Was the blonde's reply before changing the topic in a matter of a millisecond. "How was your flight?"

Typical.

"It was peaceful." She muttered as she came to a full stop just outside the gate. Everything was hectic but it gave a different sense. This hectic life was nothing compare to LA that she soon realizes that isn't missing, not even a bit. That sent a shock of relief into her body. She can do this, definitely. "I can't believe it took me so long to travel back to Canada…" For a moment she trailed off and Mal didn't really say anything. When they first became friends, real friends, Regina had talked about Daniel and the impact he had in her life. This was the first time returning since his proposal. It was heavy in her heart, like a tone of brick had been thrown on top of it and it was suddenly very hard to breath. Okay, stopping and thinking about it isn't helping her, like at all.

"Regina?" Was heard over the line and Mills blink back the tears that were about to fall.

This wasn't a good idea.

She is actually regretting returning to Canada. Maybe she should turn around book the first flight back to LA. It isn't late to get her job back right?

"REGINA!" It sounded so stern, that Regina blinked a few times until she made a comeback to reality. "Please don't tell me you are going to stop now." The worry in her friend's voice was evident, and it made Regina's heart sink to her stomach. Was she so obvious? Malorie wasn't even here looking at the pathetic look on her face and she still knew there was something wrong brewing in her. Woah, that's some long distance friendship shit, or something.

"This was a mistake." Was the only thing that came out of her mouth. Dark eyes roam around the place in search of somewhere to sit. Her heart was hammering to hard it could be heard in her ears and gods, did the air get thicker? It is hard to breath.

"No it wasn't." A pause, and Regina took a deep breath. Mal was going to speak and oh Mills is aware that it might sting. "This is the first time confronting your demons, of course it is hard but not impossible." Another pregnant pause, another deep breath that has Regina's semblance returning to something akin to normal. "You have been living with a heavy load on your shoulders but never, not once, taken care of it, not until now and I am not about to allow you to return with your tail between your legs. Change requires letting go of the past."

_First step to recovery: Letting go of the past._

The brunette repeated those words like a mantra. Breathing rhythmically until the nail on hammer sound in her ears was no more. It was uncanny how Mal's words were so similar to the ones Robin had written on his journal that she wondered… "Have you even said that to anyone?" The brunette inquired, gaze still on the floor as she breathes slowly until the remnants of what seem to be a panic attack was gone. Leaving Regina raw but tingly.

"What?" Mal spoke, not really understanding the question.

"Letting go of the past."

And Malorie 'ohh' softly and said that yes, she had only one before. When Regina asked to who (question that had Mal suspicious.) the blonde responded that Robin.

Of course Malorie was one of his pillars, like she is to the brunette.

"Thank you."

And again, Mal raise a brow, not that Regina could see it but she just knew her friend well enough. "Thank you for pushing me to do this, and for being there for me. I wish I met you before. Maybe my life wouldn't be in shambles if I had met you when everything with Daniel went to hell…"

"Better late than never, right?"

And Regina smiled. It always was hard to connect with people, to let them see past the tall walls that surround her like a fort but with Mal, everything was easy or sort off. Something Mills think the blonde put dynamites at the bottom of the wall and blew them up. However, things had happened, she was glad. For the first time she had a true friend. Someone who could kick and punch and shake her until Mills saw the light. Someone who didn't coddle her or took pity. She had enough of that back home in New York. "Oh before I forget, just thanks for being my friend. Thank you for not giving up on me and being this smartass person I really needed in my life."

Malorie had scoff at Regina but the brunette knew there was a smile on her face.

Robin was right, complimenting a person sure is a delight for her heart.

|xXx|

Seated on the back of a rather shabby looking cab, Regina adjusted her coat as her eyes were lazily mapping the moving outside. A chill that didn't have to do with cold outside ran down her spine as her gaze move to the front. Almost there, just a few minutes more and she'll arrive to Moraine Lake. After her conversation with Mal, Regina had taken the first cab in view and left. She didn't want to give herself the opportunity of changing her mind. Regina needed this, and as her hand makes it way in her coat pocket, teeth grazing her lower lips she begins to think about that evening with him. It was horribly cold, the sun was setting and she was shaking like a Chihuahua thanks to the draft that kept hitting her. Lithe fingers found the ring in her pocket and she begins to play with it as the memories flooded in.

" _This ring is beautiful." She can't stop staring at it, had been doing just that since the moment Daniel put it on fifteen minutes ago. The soft green emerald had Regina mesmerized. It wasn't her color, but she didn't protest one bit. It reminded her of Daniel and that is all she really cared about._

" _I'm glad you like it. It is a family heirloom." His hands covered hers, a grin plastered on his handsome features. His hair was wild, dancing in the wind, his blue eyes sparkling like the stars in the sky and his smile? Oh his smile managed to make her melt every time she is met with it. Needleless to say, Regina was pretty much in love with this man, every part of him. "And if we have a son you can give it to him when he is in love like I am with you." And shit, there he goes again making her insides quake. Her arms were around his neck in an instant, a smile covering her face. To plan a future with him, to be Mrs. Colter and have little Colter babies with him was a beautiful painting in her head and beautiful song in her soul. She cannot wait for the day that she would say I do and live happily ever after with him._

" _Just one thing…" She muttered, a serious (if only playful) expression covered her face. Daniel's face had the exact same expression as her. "…I draw the line on grandma. I'm too young and fabulous to be a grandmother."_

_Daniel laugh, a rich and earthy sound coming from his throat._

" _Oh I don't know; Grandma Regina has a nice ring to it." She swatted his chest but laugh._

_That was the last time they had that conversation. Come next week her spirit would be broken as is love was no more._

"Lady!"

Regina head snapped back to the man, eyes widen. How long has she been out? Mills noted that they have come to a full stop. Oh, right. "Sorry." She muttered, shaking her head. "Would you mind waiting for a few minutes I won't take long." The man nodded, killing the engine. Without anything else to say, Regina got out of the cab.

The walk to the lake shore was about fifteen minutes long, especially with the boots she was wearing.

"Note to self: Buy a pair of sneakers."

The brunette muttered to herself as she got closer to the place where one of her most precious memories took place. The shock of electricity that ran up and down her spine didn't go unchecked, neither did the abnormal pattern that her heart took. For a long time, all those memories were stuck way on the back of her head, where the pain and sorrow Regina lived in couldn't reach them. Those memories were precious like gemstones that value surpassed ever scale in the world. It surprised Regina that she was able to shelter them with such fervor even when feeling like falling apart. But that's love, right? Not even death could take away what was so important to her even if his body had been decaying. The love that they shared had been the happiest she ever been but it was time to let go. Regina stood in front of the calm water. The air brushing against her skin, whispering into her ears all those secrets, all the promises her beloved had made. It pained her, oh how much it did but as it slowly started to bleed out Mills felt the new strength building from within her.

"Don't know if you are here…" She began, taking a deep breath, head thrown back to look at the blue cloudless sky. Daniel would love how amazingly beautiful this day was. "…I hope that you are." Her gaze fell back to the water, a smile stretching as she saw the rippling water. Maybe he is there after all. "I'm so sorry it took me so long to come here. I know this was your favorite place in the world. And most likely your final resting place…" She licked her lips, taking the ring out of her pocket. "I'm also so sorry for not seeing you off that day. I hate that we were fighting when you left for your trip. I hate that I wasn't able to tell you how much I love you, one last time." Woah, with every words she uttered, her throat threatens to close off. All this time, those words, were stuck in her. Saying them was actually admitting that he was truly gone. "I've been holding on to you so tight that I felt like drowning. It was madness, oh God worse than that, I was hollow." A stray tear fell down her cheek. Letting go is not easy, it hurts so much.

Regina sat down and picked up a stone from the ground. She traced the hard edges with her fingertips, and smiled. "I remember when you try to teach me how to skip stones on the water. The rock slipped and hit your head. Blood everywhere." Regina grimace, "I think I apologize a rough two thousand times." A laugh escaped her red lips, "You told me to not worry about it, accident happen. Truth was, I was afraid. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to see me afterwards. But there you were the next day at the porch, sporting a beautiful smile stitches on your head and flowers in your hands. That was the first time you told me that you love me and nothing that I ever do, or say would change that." Tears fell freely, her heart breaking with each word. "That was also the day that I realized that I truly wanted love in my life. I learned to open up my heart thanks to you. All the wall crumble and I walked forward. Hand in hand, over the debris that once was the wall of my heart. Thanks to you I finally felt free. My heart rebel against the chains that used to bind me down. When you left, those chain returned and I was raging a war against myself. I allow the pain to throw a storm in me and all those broken pieces of that wall you tear down hit me at full force. I'm sorry for that too." She let go of the rock, and lifted the ring, kissing it gently. "How did I allow myself to be petrified again? I don't know. But I won't allow ever again. You fought so hard to make me happy. I lost my way but I'll find myself again but for now…" Regina spine straighten the moment the stood up, looking ahead.

Always ahead.

_Let go of the past._

"I have come to say thank you. For showing me that I am not worthless. That my heart is actually capable of love and commitment. I want to thank you for always believing in me even when I didn't and for never allowing me to fall. I know I fail, but from here on now no more shortcuts. I promise you I will find peace. I will find myself again…"

One last look at the soft green emerald ring, one last kiss, one last goodbye. The brunette threw into the water, and with it a weight lifted from her shoulders. "Daniel I love you and I hope, wherever you are, that you have found peace and happiness."

And as the wind picked up, and sun kissed her skin Regina knew that Daniel was happy, he was sending her his blessing to be happy.

Because Regina knows, Daniel will always believe in her and she will always love him.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_I came here for sanctuary, away from the winds and the sounds of the city._

_I came here to get some peace, way down deep where the shadows are heavy._

_I can't help but think of you._

_In these four walls my thoughts seem to wonder_

_To some distant century where everyone we know is six feet under._

_October 25 2010_

_There's something liberating about flying through the sky. Being amidst the clouds, momentarily forgetting about the ground that's usually beneath my feet. Okay, it isn't like I don't like being on the ground, in the sea of people. But for a few hours I get to experience what is like to be a bird, even though I lack the wings. But for a few hours I get to breath the fresh from treetops and hardworking flowers. Nature has a way of making me feel alive in a way that the biggest cities in the world could never. And I wonder, why, us as humans being born free, prefer to live in places where the air gets corrupted on daily basis. Why not live in places where we get to be more in touch with our inner selves? Though I got a theory. Maybe it is because we are afraid. We are fear the thoughts in our heads and we decided to cloud them with smokes of despair that ruins our inner energy. Declare our minds insane without giving it a chance to be set free. We chain ourselves to places that aren't healthy for body or soul. It is depressing._

_Or lets go to the more obvious answer as to why we stay in cities, we don't appreciated the beauty of nature. The gentle breeze that it provided us in the moment of loneliness, telling us we are never truly alone, or how the simply kiss of a sun ray can managed to thaw the ice within our souls. Whatever it is, whatever the excuse I feel like it is wrong. I, for one, will cease to take nature, this beautiful entity, for granted. I've been lost for a while, breathing in the dark smoke of despair for as long as I can remember but now I feel like thing are actually settling._

_Mother nature has given me something back, something I thought lost for a very long time but it was just in the back of my head, begging for release. I never heard the voices, over the churning sound of pain. Mother nature gave me back my peace of mind. Such a rare feeling that travels from head to heart and everywhere in between and further._

_Oh wow, so much from a little balloon ride but what can I say? I feel free. Maybe is the Britain sky, or maybe it is the beauty I see below. Green landscape, shimmering water thanks to the sun. Or, and this is totally out there, it is the fact that for the first time I don't feel trapped within myself. For the first time I see things, life, differently. It took me a while to get to a place where I can listen to my surroundings, understand that the pain I feel inside my heart is going to disappear eventually. Engulfing yourself in good things, good people will make a huge difference. It changes perspective, it changes the way you think and even how you speak. Most of the time we view words as a weapon. Probably because it's the weapon of trade for those who are constantly being condescending. What we don't realize is that words have the power of healing as well but we are too blinded by people that we don't notice. But I guarantee, mostly to myself, because really who else is going to read this? – if someone is reading, congratulations I haven't bored you to death – Anyway, I guarantee you someone's words will have a huge effect on you. Like the last words Marian's spoke had in me._

_So, my advice for the day: Don't worry if you fear heights. Don't look down, look within yourself for the courage that will help get through the trip, through life, through yourself. Don't allow ill intended words to change how you feel inside. Remember those that had managed to heal instead of destroy. We all have at least one person in the world that had managed to mend a broken part of your soul. Remember the words that have struck you the most and get through another day. Don't give up on this wonderful life._

_Oh and Remember, no more cake, at least don't cross your limits when eating. It makes for a painful return to earth._

|xXx|

Guilty.

Regina is guilty of eating three pieces of the best chocolate cake she ever had in her entire life. Really she didn't even mean it but while waiting for the air balloon to arrive, she had been tempted to enter on of the small shops around the area and saw this good looking exquisite cake that enamored her in a matter of seconds and fifteen minutes later she was eating her third and  _final_ piece. The last thing she needed was to vomit all the way through the trip. Though, now, now she understands what Robin meant in that last journal entry she rad. She had laughed a little too loudly in the airplane. The man behind those words appear to be extremely funny and it only makes her desire to meet him that much stronger.

Again, she didn't muster the courage to ask her friend, Mal, to show her a picture of him. It made her feel weird, like if she did, the blonde will ask a million questions but she wasn't in the mood for it, not now anyway.

Eating the last bite of her cake, Regina stood up to deposit the empty plate on the nearest trash can. In the very moment she did, her phone vibrated. Taking the phone out of her pocket, the brunette read 'Zelena' on the screen. Now that was really odd. For a moment she thought about not responding. Every time she talked to her older sister they always ended up fighting and she was in a too of a good mood to have it all destroyed by the ginger that just doesn't know when to shut up. You'd think with the mother they have, her sister's manners would be a bit more refined.

But that was not the case.

Regina answered the phone, although reluctantly. "Hello." Came Regina's voice trying hard of masking the annoyance that was already simmering in the pit of her stomach. Zelena laughed through the line and Regina was so, so tempted of just hanging up. But there was no need to be rude, at least not yet.

"Sis!" Oh and even Regina's stomach shudder.

This wasn't a courtesy call.

"How are you? Haven't talked to you in a while." The brunette rolled her eyes, grateful that they weren't having this conversation, if you could call it that, face to face. Odds were, Zelena was calling to gloat about something.

"Out with it. What do you want, Zelena? I am kinda busy." Regina didn't waste time with pleasantries, not when her sister wasn't going to give her the same courtesy.

"Geez, and I was calling to know how you were. Mother said you quitted your job and decided to see the world, I just didn't believe you had the guts to do such a thing." There was a mocking tone beneath her words, a tone she knows all too well. Oh the urge of just hanging up and turning off the phone was too strong. Zelena only needed to only one more word with that mocking tone to make her do so.

"I'm aware that knowing every detail of my life is what gives you purpose but isn't that a bite pathetic at this stage of your life?" Picking up her things, Mills then proceeded to walked out of the small shop and head to the waiting area for the balloon ride. She just couldn't wait to be in the air. With luck, cellphone reception would be impossible up there. From the other side of the line, the brunette heard the ginger huff causing Regina to smirk.

She just hit a nerve.

"Oh please. As if knowing what you are doing is something I died for."

"Your words, not mine." Regina shot back, suddenly feeling a whole lot better. "Now gloat if you are going to gloat about who knows what and be done with it. I have an air balloon ride scheduled and I'm not about to miss just because my sister doesn't know how to be humble." And there was another scoff and the brunette just ignored it and kept walking until reaching the place where she should take off in about fourteen minutes.

"Fine!" The ginger exclaimed, "I didn't call to gloat. Just you remind you that in a month is my wedding and I haven't received your RSVP. Are you coming or are you ashamed you don't have a date?" The smugness could be felt even miles away and Regina, again, fought the urge to hang up. To be honest, she had forgotten her sister's upcoming nuptials with the furniture empire owner Walsh. The brunette just thought that they would just break up but look at that, her sister made her stand corrected. Though why did it surprised Mills? After all, her sister was after money, just like her mother, and she found her mind of gold. But about that date.

"I do have a date."

Why would she say such a thing? Maybe because she wanted to prove Zelena wrong? A week ago she was sitting in an office, lying to her sister's face about some random thing and now she is doing it from across the pond. Such development.

"You do?" Zelena questioned. "May I know the name of this imaginary boyfriend of yours?" There she was again, mocking Regina.

_Oh, I can't stand this woman. How come we shared blood? She is destructive as ever._

When Regina didn't response for a while, Zelena laughed into the phone. "I thought so. I'll just put you alone because it is obvious you don't –"

"Robin Locksley." Regina blurted out, eyes widening at the realization of what she just did.

"Oh?"

Oh indeed.

Clearing her throat, Regina spoke. "Robin Locksley is my plus one."

In her defense, this is  _his_ fault. After all, he did say to remember a person whose words had healed her and well…

"Are you sure, sis? He sounds none-existing to me."

"I don't care if you don't believe me." A sigh, followed by pinching the bridge of her nose. Gods, her sister gives her so many headaches. Why did she ever believe they could mend whatever is broken between them? It was more than obvious that Zelena wasn't interested in that, at all. "Just make sure to put the plus one."

"No need to get testy. Can I at least know where you met the guy? As your older sister I am entitled to know."

"You are entitled to get out of my life." She quipped, growing even more bored of this conversation. "But if you are dying to know the details because you just can't live without knowing everything about me the fine, Mal introduced us. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." Zelena replied in a bored tone. "I'll make sure to invite Mal as well. That way when your invisible boyfriend doesn't show up, you won't be so lonely."

Time to end this call before Regina is suddenly granted magical powers and mute her sister, forever. "Are you done? I have things to do, and more pleasant people to talk to."

The ginger sniggered, "Yes, of course go ahead with your 'I am a drama queen and I need all the attention of family and friends on me so I decided to quit and go around the world wallowing' life."

"Good thing you are an excellent attorney, Z. Your career as a writer would have plummeted at the first book. You need to come up with a shorter titles." Regina stood just at the edge of one of the air balloons, excited to get in the air and forget this conversation ever happened. "I got the perfect one, The green bitch who couldn't. Bye, sis." And with that she hung up. It was mentally and physically exhausting to talk to her sister, whom was hell bent on making Regina's life a complete misery. But for now, she will just put the thought of her devil sister aside and get on with her planned day. Regina won't allow Zelena to ruin her day.

After a few minutes of looking around and not thinking about the fact she told her sister Robin Locksley was her plus one for the wedding, one of the instructors approached her with a smile. "Ready for your trip?" He asked, thick accent swirling in her head. He must be one of the locals. The brunette nodded, though she took a deep breath. It was one thing traveling on an airplane, able to look outside from the safety of her chair but this, this was so different. To be able to feel the wind caressing her skin, to hear the secrets it had to tell, that was such a surreal feeling.

One that she couldn't wait to experience.

People experience moments differently. There was a high chance that her heart won't beat as quite the same like Robin's did. That her mind would process the view in a different way but one thing was for sure, she would see the world, or try to see it with an open mind just like Robin had expressed in his journal. The man in front of her mirror her nod, and began detailing the rules. They were simply, easy to follow especially if you didn't want to be a splat in a cartoon series. After everyone around had understood the basic rules, Regina was first to get into the basket. Around three more people, and the same instructor that had spoken to her got in, they were given the 'In case of an emergency' talk. It wasn't long now.

There was a tingly sensation in the pit of her stomach, the same sensation she felt when she first on a boat ride with her father when she was ten years old. It was amazing how similar both feelings were, and the fact that in that moment she thought of her father made the brunette's eyes watered. If there was one person in the world she truly missed, it was him. Maybe she should call after this? Tell him about this exciting new adventure she is currently undergoing. Explain to Henry Mills that for the first time in such a long time she doesn't feel alone and depressed and it was thanks to taking a chance after reading something truly inspiring.

"Alright everyone." The man began, watching as everyone's attention was on him. "We are about to take off, so hang on and enjoy the view." Wordlessly, the man light up the burners and they slowly began to ascend. The warmth from the hearth up, seeps through Regina's skin, and it was surprisingly calming. Her head fell back just to see how the hot hair slowly raise the balloon. It was such a sight. After a moment or two, she could feel the basket dislodge from the ground, gaining a bit more altitude every second that passed by. For a moment her heart felt like a knot. Many indescribable feelings running through her veins as she watched the floor get farther away until it was just a splash of color beneath her feet. Regina was awestruck by the beauty of the landscape. It brought forth many memories, forgotten times that she selectively tried to erase but it was impossible to do so.

Time, space and memories are practically marked as the same. Expanding and contracting in your mind and surroundings. But memories, sometimes a blessing, sometimes a burden, are keepers of time and space. Maybe that is why they have the same logotype, the same energy coursing, moving them towards the ever conspiring universe.

When you reminiscence part of your heart liberates a tiny particle that is thrown into the streams of time, creating a space powerful enough to create another reality. To push you forwards to create yourself a new life. But her depression had been so strong for so long. That grey matter in her head, didn't allow her to move forward, creating within herself a pocket dimension in which her fears and insecurities had a strong hold on her. It allowed madness to take place and grab Regina in a steel vice grip marking her soul with loneliness and sadness.

But as she looked down she whispers on to the earth "So this is what freedom feels like." And smiles, because she knows that for the first time fear isn't an obstacle to reach internal greatness.

The instructor, whose name she should learn, came close to her, looking at the same blue sky ahead. He laughed softly, head bobbing from side to side like she had said the funniest thing in the world. Alright then.

"Something funny?" The brunette asked, half turning to the man with a raise brow. The man simply continues to shake his head, eyes never leaving the vast blue sky. "Nothing. Just, when you said that, you reminded me of a friend. He said the exact same words when he first saw this view." Her body aligns once more to the edge of the basket, an 'oh' passing through her lips. "I suppose everyone says the same thing upon seeing this gorgeous view. I mean all these colors that I didn't that existed, the canopy of the trees that look like they are hiding a secret, all of this is simply mesmerizing."

It was the man turn to look at her with a raise brow. Surprised coloring his features. "Woah, for a moment there I felt like I was talking to my friend." Regina looked at him with a smirk.

"He sounds like quite the person. Does he has a name and do you by the way?" Mills asked without an ounce of shame.

The man simply laughed, "My name is Will Scarlet and my friend's name is Robin, Robin of Locksley."

Well shit, what of the odds.

"You two would make good friends." Will said, "Now if you excuse me I have a job to do."

Regina didn't dare a look his way, not after hearing Robin's name. It would seem that no matter where she goes, his ghost was there. Whispering words for her to utter into the wind. So, it wasn't exactly fate that she is hearing Robin's name here but it was quite the coincidence that of all the instructors she is stuck with the one that actually knows the man. Because let's face it, the way Will talked about the owner of the stolen journal it was more than obvious they knew one another for a very long time.

Mills took a deep breath, inhaling all the pure air she could in a rather greedy fashion and then freed it. With it, all her anxiety that the moment provoked on her left, leaving behind a rather weightless Regina.

And it was pretty good.

|xXx|

After an hour in the air, simply enjoying the simpler things in life, Regina was once more on the ground. Her legs felt like jelly as she walked to one of the benches that were near by the air balloon ranch. The brunette sat down, enjoying how her muscle finally relaxed. Robin didn't write how his body felt after he landed, and maybe that was a good thing. Because maybe she wouldn't have gone through with it herself. Her pocket vibrated, and she cursed. If that was Zelena again, she was going to travel back to America just to kick her arse. Regina took the phone out and sigh in relief when she saw Mal's name on the screen. She was about to answer, when Will approach her. "I hope you enjoyed the ride."

Regina muttered she did, momentarily forgetting that her friend was calling. Speaking of friends. "Will, do you by any chance have a photo of Robin?" The man looked at her strangely, arms crossing over his chest. Gods, she must sound like crazy person.

"Why, you want to ask him out?" Now it was Regina's turn to cross her arms. "You are his type…"

"Just humor me, okay?" Three seconds, he took three seconds to completely analyze the woman in from of him before he muttered a 'fine' taking out his phone. He swiped over the screen for a few seconds before finding the right picture to show her. It was picture of three people, two of them she recognized immediately, Belle and Will and the third one was… "That's Robin, the lad with the killer blue eyes." Regina just stared, and stared until it was deemed inappropriate. He was truly handsome. From his alluring sapphire eyes, to his smile that showcase a set of dimples that had her heart skipping a bit too fast for her liking. Broad shoulders, insane biceps and gods that those stubble cheeks. If you would have asked a teen Regina what her ideal boyfriend would look like, she would totally describe Robin. Though, back then people would say man that looked like that didn't have good hearts. But after reading his journal all this time, she just knew his heart was made of gold. Will cleared his throat, and Regina's focus shifted from the photo to Will who had this knowing smirk she would have loved to wipe with a slap. "She's cute." Regina muttered and Will jaw dropped.

"No, No, No. You are forbidden to ogle future Miss Scarlet."  
Regina laughed and Will freed an adorable huffed.

"Relax, I don't swing that way." Mills was quick to assure. "But she is beautiful." Will nodded in agreement.

"The three of us known each other since as long as I can remember. Robin's parents took care of me after my parents died in an accident. We been best friend since then. Belle…" He trailed off. Was that a patch of red Regina saw on his cheeks? He was certainly adorable.

"You like her but she sees you as a brother?" Will sigh sadly. "Sorry to hear."

"I haven't lost fate just yet. She is in America now but I'm planning on visiting soon. Maybe my luck will change." She had to admire that determination.

"I'm sure all will work out for you." And she found out that she meant those words.

"Thanks." He narrows his eyes. "So, you were staring at Robin eh?"

"I was not…" Regina huffed, her crossed arms falling to the side. "I was merely taking every detail in the picture in general."

"Yeah, every detail in Robin's face."

"Are you always this annoying?" Mills questioned.

"I'm being charming."

"You're being a pain in the arse."

"You and Robin would definitely be great friends." Will grinned and was about to say something else when someone called him. "Sorry, duty calls. It was a pleasure meeting you, Regina." As she watched him go, a smile spread across her lips. She doesn't know why but for some reason she believes in Will's words about being friends with Robin.

The same Robin whom she dragged into the mess of relationship she had with her older sister.

Shit.

Zelena.

Malorie.

That was probably the reason why her friend called.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Regina dialed the familiar number and waited for her blonde friend to pick up. Which was really fast. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Hello to you too." Regina bite back, already heading down the road to the hotel she rented for the night.

"So I received a call from your marvelous, crazy sister saying she is inviting me to her wedding to keep your company when Robin Locksley doesn't appear." The way she was speaking made Regina chuckle softly. "Is this funny to you?" Mal asked.

"A little."

"Regina this is serious." Mal quipped, not an ounce of amusement in her voice.

"Fine, it is seriously funny." She is tempting the blonde's patience.

"Are you high?" Malorie asked and Regina rolled her eyes.

"I was in the air for an hour but I'm not high anymore." Her friend groaned into the phone and that was Mills cue to take things serious again. "I know I messed up with my sister but she was getting on my nerves and I was a flight away from going home and killing the red head devil." Sighing, the brunette pinched the bridge of her nose, there was something about her sister that always managed to draw out the worse part of Regina. And they were sisters, imagine how things would be if they weren't related? Constant war.

"I know Zelena isn't the ideal older sister and as much as you and I would like to make her disappear that isn't an option so we have to endure." There was another voice, probably Lily. "But dragging poor Robin into this…"

"I know it was my bad."

"Why him?" That was the question Regina was waiting for. For a moment she decided to lie. To say that it was the first name that came into mind and it was easier to prove to her sister if Malorie could vouch for his existence but this was her best friends she was talking about. She would know if Mills was lying or not. So out with the truth.

"Because…" Regina took a deep breath. "Remember when we went to his restaurant to eat and I went to the bathroom?" When Mal announced with a hum that she indeed did. Mills continued. "Well, when I was on my way there I found a book on the floor, I picked it up and locked myself in the bathroom. When I opened it I realized it was a journal, I started reading it."

"Wait, isn't that the journal Belle was looking for? The one she wanted to pack to send it back home?"

"Yes."

"And you had it all this time?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Nibbling on her lower lip, the brunette felt her cheeks flared up.

"Because I kinda fell in love with his words."

Oh!

That was the first time Regina admitted that out loud. It sent relief coursing through her but at the same time she was worried about Malorie's reaction. This wasn't typical Regina Mills behavior, and even the brunette beauty knew that but when Mal only laughed into the phone Regina's was utterly confused. "What's so funny."

Malorie stopped laughing enough to say, "For some reason I knew Robin would have a positive effect in your life. I'll try to contact him and get him on board for the wedding but I don't make any promises."

Regina smiled, "Thank you."

 


	5. Chapter 5

He had beautiful eyes. The kind you could get lost in, and I guess I did.

_November 1 2010_

_I always believed that if you do good, no matter how big – or small – the action, the universe will make sure to reward you. Maybe it won't happen right away, probably because whoever is in charge may have too much to handle. But it will happen. In the most random of moments, in a truly unexpected way, I know that something good is coming my way, so I'm patient. In the meantime, while I wait for destiny to deal the cards, I'll keep moving from place to place, I'll climb mountains and simply keep living my life to the fullest like I am learning to do. Without regrets, without second thoughts, just allowing fate guide me to my next destination._

_You know, today was an interesting day. Belle called me, and told me about a dream she had. It was about their parents. What's amazing about this is that whenever either of us dream with them, something good is about to happen. We always saw them as a good fortune sort of omen. Maybe my theory about something good about to happen is proven with this. So my hopes are higher than ever. For what? Well that is classified, even to myself._

_Anyway, other than that, there's nothing much to tell. I'm still on board a plane heading to Sicily. Maybe I don't have any advice to give myself today…_

_Wait, I do._

_My advice, don't take anything for granted. Words, actions, moments. They are all part of the great design that is your life. I know there are thing you wish to forget, but try not to. Embrace every moment. Pain, solitude, happiness, turn them into your source of strength. I know it sounds like an arduous process, filled with tension and trepidation but the end result will be worth it, I promise you._

… _Why do I feel like the purpose of this entry was for me to ramble on and on? Maybe I needed to entertain someone. Whomever is reading this, are you entertained? Honest to God, leave it in the suggestion page way back of the journal, I'll make sure to read it later on._

_Well, at least I got on important thing to say until my next one. Hopefully I will experience a life changing moment worthy of being written down. But if not, I'll at least pass by to say hi to myself and whoever is reading my poor excuse of an adventure book._

_Until then, Robin._

_Be happy or at least be content with what you have and grateful as well._

|xXx|

Regina couldn't help as she rolled her eyes to the man that wasn't in front of her. After knowing how he looks like, his eyes, his ashy blonde hair, his stubble, his dimples his… Oh God, she did stare at the picture when Will had showed her, but it was inevitable, Robin looked so inviting that it rendered Regina speechless for a bit. But now, in full clarity and after reading the next entry in the journal, the brunette had deduced that Robin was a complete dork and now she could see it more clearly, or at least read it.

That was before deciding where to go next.

Mills' decision was clear when she read Sicily. Italy seemed like a good idea, specially Sicily. That was where her father was born and after the brief moment in the balloon ride where she thought of him, it made this choice perfect. She would use this as an excuse (not that she needed one) to call her father and let him now that she was heading there. To say he was ecstatic, was an understatement. By random twist of fate Henry was in the family manor there. Not only she will get to see her roots, she will see a familiar face that she missed so much. He is most like here to get away from the wedding preparations that her dearest sister must be undergoing and Regina can't really blame her father. He had affection for the ginger, though she wasn't his daughter, he treated her as such but Zelena was, is rude and disrespectful to him and maybe that is the reason why both woman were constantly crashing and colliding. Henry was sacred to Regina.

Her plane ride to Italy went without a hitch, and her cab ride to her father's estate was too quiet for her liking. Her thoughts were screaming out loud, and she swore that even the cabbie could hear them. The last time she had seen her father was in the middle of a big, awful fight amongst her, Zelena and Cora and since them father and daughter barely had any kind of contact but if there was something she learned on this trip, time was precious and every second you been away from your love ones is a second wasted so this, being able to reunite with her father after such a long time was truly a treat.

_Don't take anything for granted._

That is what Robin had written down on his journal and she'll abide to that. She needs to live more and think less.

After what it felt like forever, Regina arrived to the house that she always wanted to visit but never had the time to. First because her parents were always occupied with work and Zelena, the none disappointment of the family and after she grew up, her work had taken over rather fast. Plus, after everything that happened with Daniel those notions of traveling to her father childhood home was nothing more with a painful reminder that life will break your dreams like twigs. But now with her new found freedom in which Mills feels like a gypsy in search of her destiny, Regina can manage this. She paid the fair for the cab, got her things out and stood there, in front of the big house. It was more beautiful than picture gave it justice for. The sunlight hit the windows in such a way that it shone like specks of gold. The bone white color of the walls with the bronze details made it look like a rustic treasure hidden away from pirates. The scent of sea was brought to her by the breeze that caressed her skin almost like a lover. It almost felt like a dream but here she was, mesmerized with the view with everything surrounding her. "I can't believe it I'm here." She muttered whilst taking a step towards the wooden door begging to be knock. So she did, and waited. After a few minutes of standing her, Regina heads shuffling behind the door. Her heart skipped a beat, lungs holding in a breath. The knob turned (her heart as well) and then the door opened. The view in front of her made her smile like never before. In front of her, Henry Mills stood, mirroring the smile that she had given him.

"Dear I cannot begin to express how happy I am to see you." He took a step closer to her, and Regina couldn't help it. Throwing her arms around his neck, she gave him the tightest of hugs she could muster. It was a long overdue kind of embrace that melt all the ice away and takes her back to the time where she was truly happy and nothing bad had ever happened in her life, save for her mother.

"Daddy I am so happy to see you as well." She grinned, pulling back. "I am so sorry it took this long but I…"

"You weren't in a good place, I understand." And not for the first time she is truly happy about his understanding nature. "I'm just glad you are here. But please, come inside there is much for us to talk about. I hope you have time."

Hauling her things inside the big house Regin nodded. "For you I have all the time in the world."

His smile, made her heart happy.

|xXx|

Two teas and treats later, Henry and Regina were lounging around in the den idly talking about things. Weather, the view things without importance, though she knew it was coming it was just a matter of time.

"I heard you quit your job."

Ah, there it is.

The brunette shrugged, taking a sip of her tea without really looking at her father. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about it, but there were so many explanations to be given and for the time being she just wanted to enjoy her father's presence. But knowing him, the curiosity will be too much. So maybe it was best if they did this now. "I was bored."

"I could have told you that." He deadpans, raising a brow her way. "Regina, you lost your passion for that job years ago. I'm surprised you didn't quit before, what does surprise me is this…" With narrowed eyes his way, Henry elaborated. "Traveling. This isn't something you would have come up on your own." He knows her well. "What did prompt this change?"

Regina licked her lips, eyes on the liquid in her cup that was quickly going cold. Explaining this would take her time and a lot of words she isn't ready to express out in the open, even if it is to her father. There are things that are better left unsaid until discovering what they truly meant. So she thought of the next big thing. Standing up in a swift movement without slushing around the lukewarm liquid. She placed the cup on the nearest table and moved to her things where she got the worn out leather journal. "This…" Walking back to Henry, Regina gave him a rather ambiguous smile, settling the journal on his hands before returning where she was seated. "I think that better explains why rather than my own words. The person who wrote that is a bit more organize with his thoughts. That or maybe needed to remember every aspect of what he did to get to the good place he is at the moment." Henry nodded in understanding and began to read the first few pages or more like eye them. It was strange to be in this position. Regina is aware she is doing nothing wrong, on the contrary, she is taking back control of her life and living it to the fullest potential. Regina is finally in a place where she is no longer a social casualty.

But the wait was becoming unbearable to the point where Mills opened her mouth to speak but Henry beat her to the punch.

"Interesting reading material." He mused, placing the journal on the middle of the coffee table between them. Her eyes went directly to the leather book that had been her best friend for the past months. It was amazing the sense of calm she got just by looking at it. It was as if part of Robin's soul was there, keeping her company while she rediscovered who she was and where she was heading. Turns out, he was good company. "Regina?" Oh, she'd been staring at the journal far too long. Peering at her father, the brunette licked her lips, giving an apologetic look.

"It is." She replied to his comment, spine straight.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Shaking her head no, Henry stood, and went to sit down beside her daughter. "Why do you thing is that?"

"I don't understand your question. Would you mind give me a bit more to work on." Though she understood but this was him, trying to internalize Regina, to get her to open up about things that she hadn't had the courage to do so. So playing coy was a good tactic. It would stop him from prying into things.

"I mean holding to a stranger journal and letting it guide you." He explained.

Well playing coy worked, most of the time.

When she gawks at her father he shook his head. "Have you read ahead, I mean to the last entry."

No she hasn't.

"I haven't. Why is that important?"

Henry's lips curled up into a warm simper, his callous hands covering each side of her face just to be able to kiss her forehead. "I'm proud of you."

She is completely lost.

"Daddy…" she trailed off.

"Don't read ahead okay?"

Her hands covered his, head bobbing gently to the side.

"You can't tell me that. Honestly, now I'm curious to know. I've never, not once wondered how this book ends." And it was true. She was so engulf reading day by day, wanting to know his experiences in certain moments that she never really had the idea to know how everything turned out for him. Well, in some ways she knows. He opened up at restaurant inspired in his travels, each section of the building divided by the countries and places he visited. Like where she was sitting with Mal, inspired on the air balloon entry.

OH!

His whole restaurant was a journal in detail.

Wow, that man!

"I know you won't, want to know why I know this?"

She nodded, curiosity taking the best of her.

"Because for the first time you are taking a leap of faith." Taking her hands, he added, "You don't know the destination you are heading, you are blinded by the words written down, by the sceneries you see that you don't have a clear destination but whatever it is, wherever it may lead you, Regina, you are going to be alright. I don't know the man behind the words that had inspired you to do this, but I am certain he is trust worthy. I am happy that someone like him is taking care of you, even if he doesn't know it himself."

To say she was surprised by those words were an understatement. They struck and took root in her heart, though she should have had a keen on her situation, especially after Mal's last words to her. This was going beyond some experimental situation. She had dragged Robin into her life even without he even realizing it and well… Wait, what is she thinking? Why did leap of faith turned into this? Regina took a deep breath. "You don't think I'm crazy?"

"Do you feel crazy or something like that?" When she shook her head no, he grinned. "Then you are where you need to be. To tell you the truth, I was worried about you. When your mother rage informed me about your actions I was afraid that this would be your depression taking you under but now, looking at the glow in your face I'm happy you did."

If there was someone's validation that actually mattered in this world for the brunette it was his, her father. The one person in her life that tried to make her happy even though sometimes she was too headstrong to accept any help. But she was happy that in this crucial moment in her life, Regina has his backup. "Thanks, daddy. And I am sorry again for taking so long to come and see you."

"Like I said, I'm just glad I got to see you. Nothing else matters. Now, lets just relax and have fun while you are still around. I'll go and prepare something to eat. Any requests?"

Regina stomach rumble. "Anything. I've missed your cooking. I'll help, if that's okay?"

"That's absolutely fine. Just like old times."

Old times, how much she had mussed her father. Regina was about to stand and move to the kitchen with her father when her phone went off, sounds like a text. "I'll catch up. That's probably Malorie." Her father placed a kissed on her forehead and went on to the kitchen.

Regina reached for her phone, and it indeed it was Mal. She opened her text, the first word Robin and the next just made her demeanor drop.

"Robin has a previous engagement the day of Zelena's wedding. He won't attend. Sorry, Regina."

And well, that was that.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**_November_ ** _3 2010._

_Something really strange happened today. I was walking down the most gorgeous beach here in Sicily -really it’s amazing- when this older man approached me to ask me the time. I was glad to give him the time of day, because no one should be neglected of that. Anyway, the man had graying hair at the beginning of his hairline, dark eyes that told so many stories and deep voice that could render you speechless. For a moment I thought he would leave after having his answer and speaking his thanks._

_But he didn't._

_Instead he just stood there at my side, contemplating the same sky as me. I could see in his profile, in the little white and dark of his eye that I could see by standing at his side, the questions brewing within him, I also could see that the answers I seek for the questions in my head lie within him as well. It was fascinating to know that a complete stranger could protect your secrets even though he isn't aware of it. The man looked so wise, like he had lived so many lives (which it could be possible if you believe souls exist, if you believe that souls could transcend time itself and settle in someone worthy of it) my curiosity, like always, was stronger than my sense of preservation._

_So I asked, ¿Do you believe there's life after death? His answer was simple._

" _I believe if your heart was pure, and you loved with a love that's more than love itself then you are ensure to live on forever. Not because there's a place to go after you died, but because you will live in the heart of those you've made an impression on."_

_Maybe the stranger didn't know it, but he helped me. I've heard it all before, just because someone's life has been snuffed out doesn't mean that person is completely dead but the way this man explained it, made all the difference in the world. Marian loved so deeply, with every inch of her being, with every beat of her heart that grew weaker each day, but she loved and loved, just as fiercely if not more. Her capacity for love went beyond the limits, breaking down walls until they were ashes swept away by the breeze. So yes, a stranger managed to do something that no one else close to me managed to do…_

_Fill my heart with HOPE. Make me see that the love Marian gave, the one I made sure to return, was her salvation. Physically she isn't here, but the warm embrace of her words and commitment will forever surround my heart._

_So I gave my thanks to that kind stranger that gave me more than I gave him. While I only gave him the time of day, he was able to help me renew my faith. And you know, that wasn't even the strangest part of it all, his next words were._

" _People spend so much time hanging by a thread when someone dear to them forever leave the physical realm. You start getting afraid that they would take the scissors of destiny and forever cut themselves free instead of battling the darkness."_

_I could tell that this wasn't about me anymore. I've already heard what I needed, and it sooth my soul. His voice held a certain amount of sadness, a plea for help hiding beneath the surface. I shouldn't have engage any more. I should take away the lesson and left but ever the curious soul, I stuck around and heard what he needed to say, after all he gave me the kindness of answering a simple question._

" _I know losing someone precious isn't easy, and it takes a toll on you but if you lived and loved without regrets, even if the space at your side is empty the on in your heart isn't. You are never alone, and I wish she would see that."_

_The moment that man was done talking the sound of a phone going off was heard. He bid his goodbye and left. I was left with a sadness I couldn't really begin to comprehend. The more I tried to shake off, I was unable to. Maybe it is because I have a sense off duty. I wanted to help that man but when I finally turned to follow him, he was long gone, the only indication that he was truly there were the footprints on the sand it wouldn't be long until the tide came and washed the away as well._

_Today I don't have any particular advice to give, which makes me feel a bit sad. Today I want to express my desire to help that man. But without knowing who he is or if he from here or not, there's not much I could do other than hope he finds the answers that elude him, that whomever in his life is suffering the same fate as me gets better. It isn't easy, takes time to heal the scars on our souls but it isn't impossible. If it were, many people would've die of a broken heart. I'm proof that you can get stronger if hold on tight to the positive and let go of the negative. Not an easy task but the reward at the end is worth it. Happiness, that is what awaits at the end of the tunnel for those who take the bull by the horns and don't allow themselves to defeated. You have to plant your feet firmly, with purpose and shake yourself, shake your world and go for it. I'm not the first person to be knock down, certainly won't be the last but I'll yell bloody murder, I did, I screamed, cried, submerged myself in pure darkness but when I had enough of the pain, the self pity I picked myself up, remember what would Marian desire and went for it._

_NO REGRETS._

_We aren't handed a Life instructions rule book but we write our own rules along the way (and no the book my father gave doesn't count, that was more of a way to make me more polite) rules that we are able to break when they don't work anymore. I'm writing myself a new set of rules, constantly, because somehow I always seem to find a way to break them which means I'm living an exciting life._

_So remember, Robin, NO REGRETS._

|XxX|

It was a strange day for Regina (Looks like Sicily had the same thing in mind for Robin and Regina) as she walked down the beach, sandals in one hand, journal on the other. The brunette made sure to read and re-read Robin's entries to get a better grasp of the places he had stood while in Sicily. It wasn't like she is trying to recreate those moments (Though the thought crossed her mind) but it was a necessity to follow his footsteps on the sand that were taken away by theses waters that are covering her feet. After talking to her friend, Mal, about what it meant not being able to take Robin to her sister's wedding, Mills had taken a long walk down the beach, and for the first time in a long time she is actually disappointed about not going to the wedding. Regina didn't want to go to begin with, and has expressed as much to her mother and dear sister that, still, they insisted that her presence was important, that they needed to show a united front.

Since when is the family united anyway? Regina was always with her father, whilst Zelena was being their mother's perfect daughter. Sure it irked the brunette that her mother had a preference but at the same time it was a relief. Most of the things Regina did went unnoticed by her mother, except this one.

Not going to the wedding will surely make a bomb go off. That was why Regina wanted Robin to go, if only to pretend being friends. To be honest with herself, she thought about picking his brain in so many topics. There's so much she could take away from his journal.

Plus there was the added bonus of rubbing it on the ginger's devil face. That Robin was real and Regina was happy. But that wasn't going to happen, and Mills had exactly three weeks to try and get out of this stupid arrangement. It wasn't like Walsh like her anyway. Why would Zelena put him through the torture of Regina's presence? Regina's guess is that the woman wasn't happy until everyone around her was miserable, including her husband to be. He should be used to it by now, after all he is marrying the devil incarnate. If her mother heard her thoughts Regina was sure to be chastised by the older Mills.

Regina took a deep breath, thoughts alone causing exhaustion to sip through her bones. Just thinking about those woman was enough to put anyone in a bad mood. She sat down at the shore, careful not to get the journal and phone wet. Her mind wondered off, but not too far away, Regina just couldn't get lost in her owns thoughts and it was honestly frustrating for her. All she wants is for a few moments forget the impeding doom that looms over her head, the doom that will attack her the moment she decides to call back home and inform that she won't be available that particular day three weeks from now.

War was coming her way, that or she is walking into the gallows by her own free will. Any of those two were plausible possibilities.

Regina opened the journal on the last entry she read, taking in the words that, like every other before, hit home. It was amazing how similar they could be –Well in certain aspect— but she never had his luck when it came to looking for answer…

Until now, until she came across the leather bound suggestion book –because that is how she see this, and she had taking a few (a lot) suggestions from a stranger. Though now that she thinks about it, Robin isn't a stranger. Regina feels like she knows him better than anyone else, like she knows his soul like her very own. If he ever come to know her, would he understand? Would be see her soul and understand the scars like she understood his? Would Robin like what he see, or will darkness show and he'll run for the hills? But that would never come to past. Maybe it wasn't possible for them to meet. She had tried, the wedding being an excuse –the perfect one at that—but it wasn't possible and maybe it was for the best.

No need to corrupt him when he clearly had gotten over the hump, while she is still at the base.

A long, guttural sigh freed from her lips, leather bound book closing in her hands. It was no used to dwell on this now, on Robin, on the wedding not even the stranger whom the writer talked about in his entry, Regina cannot lie to herself, it capture her attention. It wasn't everyday that you happen to run to someone who has he answers you see. The brunette did if only in the form of ink but a human being? Tactful, wise and even caring if you read the words closely, well that was certainly a treat. It begs the question to be ask, Is destiny real?

"You always been a loud thinker." Regina jumped, heart running faster than a few seconds ago. When her gaze lifts, she found her father standing at her side, overlooking the horizon. The brunette released a soft sigh, already trying to calm her heart.

"When did you become so stealthy?" When her father simply chuckle, Regina huffed. The man, carefully sat at her side, his eyes never stopping to gaze the crystal waters. "What's on your mind?" She asked, leaning her head to rest on her father's shoulder. It was nice to have this kind of moments without the presence of her mother and sister. They always had a way of ruining them by opening the big mouths. Mills was glad to have them busy and thousand of miles away though that beautiful dream will be disrupted soon, but she'll enjoy it while it last.

The man shifted so he could be able to lean his head against his daughters'. "Nothing much." He replied, to which she rose a brow and was pretty sure it brought new waves back to life, he chuckled. "You know, this is the first time in six years that I've walked this beach." That caused Regina to sit up straight, action that made Henry do the same, her eyes on him quickly. She is aware of the many times her father had come to visit his birth place, his roots –which makes this confession truly confusing.

"But you love the beach." The brunette said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because to her it was. Regina still remember her childhood spent under the sun, in the salty water and the sand beneath her tiny feet. Her mother never liked the beach so it was always the two of them. That's why Regina always been daddy's little princess, he knew how to make her smile, he knew what she needed in order to be happy even when her mother had always look at them with disgust. Regina never cared for tea parties, or many galas her mother insisted on taking her from such a young age, in hopes that she and her sister would develop a liking to that world. Only one of them did, Regina didn't feel like being part of a mindless hive. The only good thing that came out of those utterly boring evening was the very next day, going to the beach with her father.

"I do." He replied with a nod, a smile ghosting over his lips. "But I loved it even more when you were here with me." Finally, he tears his eyes from the horizon, casting them over Regina's face. " I loved seeing that sparkle in your eyes whenever I asked you if you wanted to come to the beach with me. It was like bringing you back to life after Cora dragged your spirit around." Reaching for her hand, Henry gave her a gentle squeeze. In his eyes Regina could see so many unexpressed feelings, so many words wanting, needing to come out but he seem hesitant. When her own hand wraps around his frail one he takes it as a sign to finally speak the words that he had kept so close to his heart for such a long time. "After Daniel's death you were never the same person and truly I understood the weight of death, I've had been on that spot." His parents, his family he had lost it all but then he met Cora and things began turning around but it wasn't until Regina was born that he felt whole again. "But you took the blame, you torture yourself for sure a long time that I was afraid that I would never get you back. Honestly, you scared the hell out of me, Regina."

The brunette's eyes fills with tears to the brim, her heart tightening. She wasn't quite aware of the damage she was causing her father, but she should have sensed it. Was her pain so strong that her surroundings disappeared? Bile rises, her stomach knots as she mutters the only thing Mills could think off, the only words that her mind said were needed, "I'm so sorry, daddy." And she truly is. There were a few people in this world she would never hurt (feels horrible for hurting her father) and Henry Mills was on top of that short list. It was strange that Regina hadn't noticed it before. It is true when they say love and pain makes you blind.

Henry shakes his head softly, lips mustering an understanding smile because, like always, he understood the hurt better than anyone, like always he was the understanding father she always went to for guidance and advice. "You don't have to apologize for having a heart." The soft sigh he frees was one relief, because finally this overdue conversation was taking place. "You always did feel everything with your entire soul." It wasn't the first time he said those words to her, but the flicker that crosses her eyes makes him understand that this was the first time she finally discovered the meaning of them. "Your eyes were, are, a giveaway of that. It is that dark speckle in them, a door to your most inner thoughts. Only once I've seen that before, if only briefly and in eyes lighter than yours but I recognized the same pain in them, the same as yours."

And for a moment she was lost. Regina didn't quite understand what her father was talking about, maybe the age was starting to play with his head. No, it wasn't that, but Mills didn't understand what he was getting to. "What do you mean?" Regina was quick to ask, sharp brow raising, hand still holding her father's as she waits for an answer. But she didn't get one. Soon enough Henry was dismissing the thoughts away. The brunette had half a mind to demand an answer but Henry was clever, he continued speaking.

"What I'm getting at with this, is that you have a big heart even if you hide it behind that snarky and stubborn personality of yours. That stubbornness that also translate to your feelings." Carefully he stood, offering Regina a hand for her to do the same. With the same caution as his, she did journal and phone on her free hand. "You spent so much time hanging by a thread after Daniel passed that I was afraid that you would take the scissors of destiny and cut yourself off this world." Turning to her, he held her stare, a warm simper slowly growing. "I'm really glad you decided to battle the darkness." Father kisses his daughter forehead, before taking a step back that smile never leaving his lips. "You have a visitor." And then he was gone.

Regina gawks at his retrieving form, not able to formulate words to describe what just happened. Her father's words were strange to say the least but that wasn't even the odd part, what truly baffled her was the familiarity of them. Lifting her right hand –the one holding the journal— Regina was about to call after her father, not because of her visitor (which she should check. Who would travel halfway around the world to see her?) but because she wanted to ask where he had heard those words before. It wasn't until her dark orbs fell on the leather bound journal that she finally understood.

"Holy shit." Regina half yells in full surprise. This world was like a handkerchief. Even when it is too vas, edges are bound to touch one another. Eyes widen when all the pieces finally fall into place, and she can't help the laugh that leaves her lips. "You really are something else, aren't you Robin?" Eyeing the time worn pages for a moment before she throws her head back. "How is it that you are in my life, one way or another and I can't even see you?" But she's excited, more than Regina ever had been since the beginning of this self discovery journey. It had taken so many unexpected turns, had met people – though she really wants to meet him, her inspiration. Pulling the journal close to her heart (more like clutch) Regina starts living in that moment, in that second that lingers like the sun all over her skin, like the breeze making her short tresses dance. It lingers like the salty air in her lungs and like the sound of waves crashing against rocks. In that moment, in that fleeing but stand still second, Regina declares that she is done allowing people (Mainly her mother and sister) to try and control her faith, her actions. Sure, she had declared that the moment she quite her job months prior, but there were a few tethers to cut. A choice has been made and it is with a new wave of determination that Regina marches back to the house, ready to greet her visitor but after that, it was time to call her dear sister and RSVP NO.

|xXx|

By the time she returned to the house, she was sticky, hot, her hair began to curl and the sand had gotten into places the sun doesn't shine but her mood was cheerful. The previous epiphany that had illuminated her brain made sure her state was of constant state of awe thanks to the grandeur of that moment. The sun had began its descend and it only meant dinner with her father and then out for a night in the town but first… "Daddy who came to v —" But as soon as she crosses the threshold leading into the living room, the rest of the sentence dies, her eyes falling on a blonde with magnificent blue eyes. Now this was a surprise. "Mal!" Regina exclaims full of surprise, last thing she expected was to see the blonde, certainly not here; though it was a welcome surprise if she is being honest.

"If I knew you had such a treasure hidden…" Limbs motion around the room filled with photos, painting and others eye catching trinkets. "…I would have given you that journal myself." Mal heads in Regina's direction, body demanding attention. The blue eyed virago heading her way had a way of sucking the air out of the room. Her whole existence was in an entire level, and when those piercing blue eyes were on Regina, it was like she was stealing her breath away, replacing it with something akin to fire. Not in vain she was called Dragon Lady. Sharp tongue, strong presence. Regina always had a mild attraction to her but it was simply platonic, nothing wrong with fantasying, right? At the end of the day, the brunette always return to reality, and the reality was this Malorie Von Brandt was her best friend, she would never change that for the world, especially now. Not when the blonde is reaching for a hug albeit her salty smell and sweaty skin. Hug that Regina doesn't think twice on returning. Eyes flutter close, she breaths in and unbinds herself to that second. "It is nice to see your face without a screen in the middle."

Regina laughs.

"Agreed." They pull apart , Mills mustering a smile. "Though I must confess your visit baffles me." Yes, they have talked about a possible reunion but they never pass the where exactly stage. Malorie must have gotten annoyed about the lack of decision making. Doesn't surprise the former attorney a bit. In life and work, it was imperative for Mal to always have control. Regina calls it control freak whilst the blonde calls it drive.

Sure.

Whatever.

"If I wait for you to say when and where we should meet I would grow old and bitter." Regina rolls her eyes, a smirk playing upon her lips while pulling her hair up into a ponytail. Mal takes a few steps back taking in Regina's form. "You look radiant, by the way." Crossing her arm she adds, "This life certainly agrees with you." The airy laugh that Regina release was joined by Mal's more deeper, richer one and the brunette felt at peace, more so than a few minutes ago when she walked into the house. They had kept communication flowing, Malorie wanting to know every detail of her travels, how she was feeling and where was her next destination. It felt like the blonde had been keeping a ledger, a journal of Regina's emotions to compare to her life before Robin. Because that is how she sees it. A before and after picture thanks to this  _emotional_  and  _spiritual_ diet she had commence. Though as more time passes by, the brunette is more convinced that Robin wasn't the real reason for this (but he got the motor running, had fed her the substance that brought her back to life) there's a world of motives.

Tiredness.

Routine.

Negative emotions.

Everything that pulls her under like an anchor to the dark sea. She will admit this though, Robin had made a huge impression with just one entry, that first one that provoke the woman to get up her arse and do things for her and  _not_ for others. She had sent a cry for help and it came in the form of pages and ink. And not for the first time Regina is grateful but not only to him but, "Thanks, Mal." A gust of air went through before feeling Mal's warm hand upon her now cooling skin. The other female's lips slowly stretches into a smile and by the time she took her hand back it was gone but Regina had already committed to memory. "I think dad cooked. Are you up for supper and then a night out? I could use a drink in company of a friend." Regina proceeds to walk in the direction of the dinning room where her father had started setting up the table. She walks around it, kissing his cheek with a grin.

"I'm sure you have met while I was sulking on the beach but to make it official, daddy this is my best friend Mal." The blonde took a few steps towards them, extending her hand to the man, which he met halfway with a warm simper adorning his face like the christmas tree. "Malorie this is my favorite person in the world, my father Henry Mills." As the other nods, golden tresses dancing, Regina felt an ease fall over them, a peace even.

"A pleasure." They both said in unison.

Regina laughs.

"Alright, you two mingle while I take a shower. Please, daddy, no embarrassing baby picture and Mal no work stories that makes me look like a monster. I'm still daddy's lil angel." Mal scoffs, Henry chuckles and Regina gives a cheeky grin whilst slowly retrieving to her bedroom.

The moment she's inside the room, door closing behind her, Regina frees a content sigh, walking towards the bed where she places the phone and journal. Initially, her plan was to read a little before heading to dinner and then out but seeing as she has company, reading will delayed until tomorrow because there was a high chance she'll get hammer tonight with her friend. It was actually more common to go out and get drunk to the point of passing out with Mal. With the dark cloud always hovering over her head, not sober where the only moments where Regina wasn't wallowing in self-pity. Mal had a name for that, Happy Drunk. Shaking those musing out of her head, the brunette beauty began discarding her clothing into the dirty clothes bin before moving into the bathroom were she puts cold water to run. Her skin still felt too hot from her half day in the sun. Even with the sunscreen she had a little tan. There were white lines (where her bathing suit had been), her reflection on the mirror had rosy red patches but that wasn't the most surprising thing there, it was her eyes. They were brighter somehow, the obsidian shade lighter, warmer and that speckle of pain – her father describe she had – was almost gone. The luminance of her eyes spread to her lips that formed a bright, rare smile something that for years the dark hair beauty wasn't able to muster. It was a sight to behold. Moving away from the mirror, because she was starting to stare at her reflection more that she should (better not chase away that smile), she heads into the shower where the cold water upon her made her skin sing in pure relief. If her days are to keep getting better like this, even with the disappointment of not being able to take Robin to the wedding (She's not going. It was decided she'll call her mother and sister, bear the storm of their words but she isn't assisting to a place where most likely Zelena will take the opportunity to rub everything in her face) Regina will be ready to go back home, but where is home? Now that was her next quest. Finding that answer will be her final destination.

It was half an hour later when she return back to the dinning room where her father and friend were animatedly talking, laughing, and the brunette couldn't help raising a brow in their direction. "I do hope you aren't talking about me." Sitting beside her father, the other woman across from her, Regina saw the shared look between them causing Mills to cross her arms. "Alright, spill you two." For a long moment she looks from side to side, scanning their features, trying to deduce who will crack first. When none of them did (Regina is quite aware of their steel like will) she shrugs, unbounding her arms to begin serving herself some food. They were almost finish eating and Mills didn't serve much on her plate. Truthfully she wasn't hungry but she was going out drinking better not do it in an empty stomach.

After a while the three of them fell into a comfortable silence as they ate. The only sound heard was the cluttering of silverware against ceramic and the tick tock sound of the clock at the back wall. But Regina was getting bored of the ongoing silence, "How long are you planning to stay?" The brunette asks as she reaches for the open bottle of wine and empty glass. Pouring herself the crimson liquid, her eyes chance glance at the blonde that was setting her glass down. "I have two weeks off. Spending one here, if you two accept me, and the other visiting a friend back in London." When Mal finish speaking, Mills nods an 'oh' escaping her lips. She is aware that her friend had quite the list of friends outside the united states thanks to her many internships. Regina is finally able to see the beauty of it. Meeting new people, seeing their culture, experiencing their way of living was refreshing. Even when they're views on the world were different, even when they didn't speak the same language, they did have something in common, hearts beating as one. Hearts that felt pain and join, hearts that run a little too fast in excitement like in disappointment. Hearts that fell in and out of love, hearts that beat as one in a world where things get lost in the darkness. Clearing her throat, Malorie pushes the now empty plate aside, "Have you decide where are you going next?"

Truthfully, she hasn't. Regina had been following Robin's footsteps, had use them as a guide through this journey but for her next stop she wants to do something different, something that isn't on the journal (which is a hard choice to make because she has taken to reading one entry by flight and there was a chance that she'd made a stop in some place that could be described in a future entry. So she's vigilant.) "I actually haven't but I want to derail from the Robin's path for a bit. See things with my own eyes." Her father looks at her and grins, words tumbling from his lips quickly. "Then I suggest returning to a place where you've already been." Both women look at him, both with curious stares. "I mean you've been complaining how much you missed your friend." He points at Mal, Regina sends a playful glare for throwing her under the bus. The man chuckles.

"I knew it!" Mal exclaims with a laugh and all Regina could do was roll her eyes. "Anyway, it isn't a bad idea. You could come to London with me. It's beautiful this time of year, plus you only went to the country side, the city has so many amazing places to see." The fact that both of them were in agreement causes Regina to thread the territory with a wary stare. She raises the glass to her lips, looking at father and friend over the rim of the glass as she took a mouthful of her pinot. It was delicious, actually it was extremely good and when her eyes latch to the wrapper around the dark bottle, the brunette realized it was her father's most expensive bottle. These two were preparing her for something, What? She couldn't tell.

"You two are clearly up to something." Most likely had to do with the conversation they were having  _before_  she entered the room. The conspiracy glances didn't go unnoticed either but she let does slide.

"Just think about it, Regina." Mal took another sip of wine before adding, "You have a week to decide."

Though by the look on her face, the determination in her sapphire eyes, she knew Malorie Von Brandt wasn't about to give up and Regina was curious to see what was behind door number one.

 


	7. Chapter 7

" **Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."**

―  **Maya Angelou**

_November 3 2010._

_I know I've already written an entry with this date but in the span of twelve hours since I wrote it, a few interesting things have occurred. First of all, I never saw that man again, probably never will so it makes the whole 'returning the favor' thing a bit hard but doesn't mean I'll give up. Secondly, I found this amazing little street that is so lively. There's music, people dancing everywhere, nice local drinks, interesting people and well it strangely feels homely. I sat on one of the tables for fifteen minutes, just observing my surroundings and got lost in the music. I noticed that peopled are often living in the rhythm of the music. Whether is on the strings of a guitar, or the keys of a piano or even in the air the harmonica borrows, people are living in it, in the moment. I've always known music was a way of life. Something that relaxes, something that inspires, music is art and we make it come alive in so many ways, lyric wise or not it comes alive. You see it in the way a person smiles when a happy song comes up, or how their smiles turn into thin lines of sorrow when a sadder one replaces it. It is a constant search for the unknown, a piece of mystery, a heart, a bittersweet feeling. Sometimes you don't even realize you are searching for something, I didn't know I was searching for something in melodies but upon reflection, I've realized I'm searching for a heart of Gold._

_Gods I feel like a Neil Young song. Such a geek I know._

_Anyway, what was the point of this entry? Oh yeah, there's power in music. I've always, sort of knew it but tonight it was proven to me that there are so many ways to heal, music heals if only people listen instead of just hearing. Sicily has proven to be one of my favorite spots in the world. I leave tomorrow but I am hoping that I might return soon. I want to come back to the beach, I want to hits the streets and listen to more music. It has proven to be healing, this has been a truly healing spot._

_If I return, I'll make sure to spend a bit more time. Maybe I'll even run to that man again. Fingers crossed. I cannot wait to see what else awaits me here. For now, it is time to head a bit farther. Someone told me Australia is beautiful this time of year._

_Have fun, follow the music and just relax._

_Robin._

|xXx|

Music has always been a bitter-sweet feeling provider for Regina Mills. For as long as her memory can stretch, the youngest Mills had always had that kind of relationship with harmonies and melodies. Her earliest memory of true enjoyment goes back to her first year in school. When Regina was exactly five years old, her teacher Miss Gonzalez had a small clock radio in the classroom that always started playing at ten am. The songs were never the same but that very first time Neil Young Harvest Moon started playing. She never been more mesmerized by anything in the world. Maybe it was the way the notes merged together in a sequence of perfect melodies, or maybe it was the way his voice held certain serenity with each word he spoke. To this day she doesn't understand what was about that moment that had Regina forever lock inside a glass box, light filtering in.

That very same day, the young girl returned home, wanting to learn how to play the harmonica. She asked, begged her father to buy her on and he did. For weeks she secretly played, learning slowly, feeling victorious whenever something was done right and determined to improved those part that were still very rocky. A headstrong five-year old, that was her father's description of her. Henry stood quietly on a corner, reading a book whilst hearing the little girl transforming a disarray of notes into strings on melodies slowly but surely. It went on like that for almost three months before Cora discovered Regina's new pastime.

Hell broke loose.

Not only did Regina was pulled to a complete stop on the harmonica track, but Cora took it away, forcing Regina's colored canvas to become dull. For a moment she believed that it was the end of her musical career (not that she had the plans of taking it further, she was five after all) but her mother a surprise her by enrolling her in piano classes. It was exciting, for a moment the little girl believe that her mother might had actually have a soul, that this was her way of saying 'I support whatever you decide to do' but that was too much to ask for.

By the time she was fifteen, Regina had come to hate music, classical music that is. It wasn't like the teen had something against it, but after being forced fed the classical for years she became intolerant to it. Hence why her relationship with music was bitter-sweet.

"Regina?" A female voice calls her name, drawing Regina out of her reverie. The brunette's visage moves from the sea of people dancing to the blonde holding up a glass of what seems to be whiskey. Oh right, she asked for that. "You are honestly the most spaced out person I know." The blonde sat down the moment Regina took the glass, taking a swig of her own amber liquid. Music had a way to drop her head first into the past. Mills takes a swig of her drink as well, settling better on the chair she had been sitting for the past fifteen minutes. About an hour ago they left her father's place to go out. A night in the town has been long overdue, especially since she decided to take this soulful trip. Her conversations with her best friend have been short, Regina always being distracted by the sights, by people and well having a bit of time to shared with Malia was welcome but even then she was always distracted. It seems there was no way to turn off her brain.

"Sorry." The brunette apologizes, putting on hold her thoughts on music, and giving her undivided attention to her friend. After all, God know when will be the next time she'll see her. Plus, she needs to know what exactly ins Mal planning. There's something fishy about her visit. "I just zoned out for a bit. You know me." Regina took a sip of her drink again, eyes scanning the street. It was closed off on both ends, allowing people who were visiting the different bars on both sides of the street to mingle. Right in the middle there were tables lining all the way to both dead ends and that was were the both of them were sitting. Exactly in the middle, with good view to the whole street, to the getting lost to the beat of the sound, to the people talking amongst themselves enjoying the night like it was their last. Robin was right, this was an astonishing place.

"So..." Regina's visage returns to Mal who had been enjoying her drink whilst doing flirtly eyes to a blond on the table at the right. Typical Malia behavior. But the woman places her attention at her friend who was looking at her with raise brow. She was going to ask about the obvious flirtation between both woman but she decided against it, for the time being. "...Are you going to tell me the real reason you are here? I am having a hard time believing it is because you miss me..." Not really, Regina knew well her blonde friend cares enough for her to take a trip halfway around the world, still she couldn't shake the feeling that something was up. Maybe she was reading too much into it, but the way her father was acting during dinner, even after it left too much to wonder.

Mal stretches, yawns and gives one last glance at the woman on the other table before giving Regina her full attention. "You really are something Mills." She shakes her head, leaning back to her chair, "I missed you that's no secret." Regina already knew that. "Maybe there's something else or maybe there isn't." Mal was casual when she spoke, not a word out-of-place even though she was being completely cryptic. Oh how Regina hates that. There are a few things in life that could make Mills' teeth grit together and this apocryphal behavior was one of them. The brunette simply rolls her eyes, placing down her drink on the table as her shoulder shrugs. It wouldn't be easy to get the information out of Mal. Maybe getting her tipsy would help, or maybe that would just push her friend to invite that other blonde that is still making eyes at Mal.

Oh yes, she is extremely aware.

"Fine don't tell me." Regina leisurely stands, lifting her drink in the process. "I'm going to find a restroom. If you are going to do something I wouldn't do..." Her eyes flicker to the neighbor table, sending a tight smile at the woman sitting there with what seem to be her friends, before looking at Malorie again. "...at least let me know. Wouldn't like to run into the surprise that you've abandoned me." The other woman scoffs, taking an excessive interesting in her half empty glass before muttering an 'Fine'. Satisfied with the response Regina bows her head, moving to the nearest bar. Her steps were slow, measured as she approaches the bar. It was a karaoke one, so when she entered there were a couple single some song she can't quite decipher sings they were drunkenly singing. As she step away from the karaoke area, to the restrooms, they song came to an end and Regina released a soft 'finally'. If there was something worse than karaoke, was drunken people singing. By the time she went into the restroom and out, the brunette had finished off her drink and decided it was a good time for a refill. Heading towards the bar area, she passed by a few walls filled with pictures of all patrons singing. Regina came into a full stop, admiring the many pictures when from the corner of her eyes she saw it.

A picture of Robin, microphone in hand, eyes glistening with a spark of excitement and Regina's heart speed up exponentially. There was something about his eyes that always gave her a thrill she couldn't quite comprehend. She stared at the photo, felt like forever as she did but it wasn't enough. It is because of him she was there but still, to see the footprints he left behind was something to behold. It had been six years for him since he was standing in the place she is standing now, but to Regina it felt like he was just there the day before.

Something was horribly wrong with her.

Or maybe not?

Regina shakes her head, reaches for the photo on display. Her lithe finger traces Robin's silhouette slowly a smile creeping on her lips. Regina is so busy trying to smother the feeling her chest is demanding her to feel that came Malorie's inappropriate words that had her jumping. "He's handsome."

"Jesus!" She turns to Mal, a hand clamping her rapid beating heart. She'll attribute the blame for her hectic heart to the blonde's surprise and not on the fact that she was staring at Robin's face. "Warn a girl of your presence." Her hand fell to the side, breathing out air tainted with surprised. "I did." Mal counters with a raise brow. "Didn't you see me waving at you?" The blonde asks as she crosses her arms. And no, Regina didn't see her. Actually she was too busy studying Robin's face to notice what was happening around her. It was like a spell that was broken thanks to her friend whom by the way had a smirk on her lips.

Oh she'll never live this down.

"I was looking at the pictures on this wall." She tries to be nonchalant about it, her eyes scanning the wall but she always ended up on Robin's face and gezz why must he be so handsome? Worse part of it all was the fact that now Mal had a convenient excuse to tease Regina mercilessly throughout the entire night, maybe for a life time or two.

Peachy.

"Sure you were." Mal bobs her head, lifting her drink to her lips. Drink! Yes, that was the only way to make the blonde bearable tonight. Regina shakes her head, angling her body towards the bar strutting down the path there afterwards. When she arrived to her destination and order whiskey, Malia wasn't following behind. Maybe she gave it up and moved back to their table but the moment her drink arrive, Malorie's voice reached her through the speakers.

Oh this is bad.

"I have this friend with an amazing voice and I think she should come up and sing."

No, no!

Regina tried to sneakily head outside. You know out of sight, out of mind but when she was about to reach the door, freedom, Mal calls her name, and points at her. The brunette could feel everyone looking at her, waiting for her to turn around and show her face. Oh she'll kill her friend for this or maybe sent Cruella her way but for the time being she simply turns, a sheepish, though forced, smile covering her countenance. "She is truly amazing." Mal continues, walking towards Regina whom eyes like daggers are pinning the blonde. "Who wants to hear her sing?" The whole venue starts hollering for her to sing and all Regina wants to do is turn around and leave, actually it was a pretty good option up until the other woman put her arm around her shoulders and whispers in her ear, "Take a chance. Isn't that the whole purpose of what you are doing?" She got Regina there. With a sigh, Mills mutters a fine, still in disbelief on how Malorie put her on the spot in such a way. As they headed towards the small stage, Regina examined her repertoire of music, trying to pick the perfect song to sing. It had been a long time since she last sang, years actually. Since her mother had banned music in their household when she was seventeen. Cora even took the piano away to make her decision a law. It pained Regina to not be able to play any longer but challenging Cora's authority would lead to horrible consequences. Even after she had escaped the clutches of her mother, Regina didn't play or sing ever again. Her mother's voice and will was drilled way too deep. Upon arrival to the stage, a small mezzanine, Regina feels her palms become sweaty.

"I can't believe I'm letting you rope me into this." Regina shakes her head once more, as Mal passes the microphone to her. Malorie simply smirks, winking. "You'll thank me for this someday." Taking a step back from the brunette she adds, "Or maybe not. But at least you'll take a chance and who knows, maybe something good will happen after this."

Mal was being cryptic again. Regina narrows her eyes, ready to shot back a reply when music starts playing. She wasn't even able to pick a song, something random started playing. For a moment Regina was lost as she tries to make sence of the music playing on the background. The moment she actually had the opportunity to better listen, her mouth fell slack. It couldn't be a coincidence that Harvest Moon by Neil Young was playing. Apparently Mal had the whole thing plan out. This was the song that showed her the way all those years ago. The song that made her realized her love for music. She can clearly remember the day she asked for a harmonica. She remembers the countless hours practicing, getting the sound right until she became the master of the harmonica which brought harmony in her life. Regina laughs, head shaking as she did. For a moment she was that little girl once more. The world around her disappear letting her alone with the instrumental music and the lyrics coming out of her mouth.

Come a little bit closer

Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleepin'

We could dream this night away.

As the lyrics settle into the standstill room, Regina feels a knot began to loosen in the pit of her stomach. Being able to once again enjoy music like she used had every negative feeling disappearing leaving behind the self she craves to always be. That person who can be free to sing like nobody is looking. That doesn't allow herself to be turned down by the circumstances life throws at her. That person that slowly had been picking herself up in this journey that had proven to be exactly who and what she needs.

But there's a full moon risin'

Let's go dancin' in the light

We know where the music's playin'

Let's go out and feel the night.

Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I'm still in love with you

On this harvest moon.

When we were strangers

I watched you from afar

When we were lovers

I loved you with all my heart.

But now it's gettin' late

And the moon is climbin' high

I want to celebrate

See it shinin' in your eye.

Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I'm still in love with you

On this harvest moon.

By the time Regina was over, the room had gone truly quiet and for a split second she fears that no one actually like her voice or the choice of song but she proven wrong quickly afterwards when everyone in the bar began to applaud and shout for an encore. She gracefully smile, "Maybe next time." And with that she quickly ran off the stage in the same direction to the wall full of photos. Her heart was still racing, actually she was shaking. She needs air, and the bar was filled with way too many people. With one last look at the photo of Robin, Regina hastily made a b-line to the front door. When she steps outside, the cold air hit her face and Regina couldn't help breathing in greedily. It was like she had been walking through a desert all this time and finally, after a really long journey she found an oasis. Who would have thought? The street was empty, save for a few patrons talking on the phone so the brunette sat on the table she and Mal had occupied earlier and sighs out. "That was brutal." Regina mutters to herself, settling comfortably on the chair.

"I think that was perfect." Regina rose her head at the sound of Mal's voice. The blonde had two drinks, one that was placed in front of Regina and the other across her where the blonde sat down. "I had a general idea that you could sing, I didn't expect you to sing so well." She teases the brunette, taking a swig of her drink. Regina shot daggers her way and Mal laughs. "It isn't that funny." Regina tries to admonish, curling her lithe digits around the drink. Mills takes a sip, a really generous one, Everything seem too surreal for her. If her mother knew about this she would pop a fuse. Though the image on an enrage Cora had her inwardly smiling. "Not it wasn't funny, it was bloody brilliant." The blonde counters, "You shouldn't be hiding your talents like that."

"Lets trade families so I don't have too." Mal laughs and says, "Fair enough."

After a while they go into complete silence. Both woman sipping their drinks, nerves settling once more to their 'normal' selves. The silence is good but only for so long. There are questions running havoc in her head. For starters, Malorie's ambiguity has been driving Regina up the wall. Has been since dinner with her father. She wants to ask but Regina is sure she'll be met with a complete refusal from the other woman part and Malorie isn't the one who takes well with people pestering her for answers, besides Regina isn't the one to badger a person when they clearly didn't want to talk. So she mentally shrugs the questions away, deciding that this battle could be fought in the upcoming days. After all she had a week to do so.

Regina let it go...

|xXx|

Regina Mills hasn't been succesful. A week went by in a flash and nothing. She had taken so many different approaches to see what was the blonde hiding. She went as far as using her daddy routine on her father which he completely ignored. Looks like she was too old for that routine anyway. Usually she is succesful when it came extracting information from Mal but for the first time her efforts amount to nothing which made her all jittery. Regina absolutely loathes surprises. Being blindsided wasn't something she was truly looking forward.

Morning came that day at exactly eight am, which was the time she woke up to prepare breakfast for her, Henry and Malorie. The former was finally going to leave them again and Regina cannot help the bittersweet feeling that attacked her the moment she opened her eyes that morning and realized her friend was living. It had been a fun week, almost familiy like. That woman was the sister she always wished for or at least the sister she wished Zelena would be. Oh well, it is true when they say you don't chose your family but you chose those that are a positive reinforcement in your life, and Mal was that in her life.

"Good Morning..." Thinking of her, the blonde appears through the archway dividing the kitchen and dining hall. "Good morning to you too, dear. You're up early." Regina begins filling a mug with coffee, and passes it to the blonde whom gracefully accepts.

"It's your last day here, might as well start it right." Regina simply replies, taking a sip of her coffee. "Anything you want to do today?" The blonde shakes her head no, muttering a 'not really.' The brunette's brow knits at her response. She had expected the woman to want to do something wild, leave Sicily with a boom but instead she was met with a rather mellow person. All the alarms in her head went off again. "How come?" She tentatively asks, trying to pry some information out of the blonde who just shrugs. "I am waiting for a visitor..."

Oh!

"Are you now?" Regina asks, curiosity blooming within her.

"I am." Mal replies with a shrug.

The first thought to come to Regina's mind, more specifically name, was Cruella. That thought made the brunette cringe inwardly. It wasn't like the brunette didn't like the gin obsessed woman, but she was a wild card, and only God knew what was going through that woman's head. Malorie had odd taste in woman, Regina had express so but she never judge her for that. At the end of the day those two together were quite amusing. Mills has certainly had a good laugh at their expenses. "Someone that I know?" She casually asks, finishing preparing breakfast. Omelette, butter on toast and lots of coffee, Regina feels like the massive amounts of caffeine is appropriate.

"Not really. I just asked a friend to take me to the airport." The brunette frowns at that, turning around to face her company. "That wasn't necessary. I can take you." But Mal mutters something Regina can't quite understand and keeps on drinking her coffee. Regina finishes cooking in tandem with the bell ring and she cannot help sprinting out of the kitchen to open the door. It was most likely the person who was going to take Malorie to the airport so maybe she could kindly ask the person to 'fuck off'. Her hand reaches for the door know, which she twist and pull open. "Your services aren't required..." Regina looks up and completely freezes into place. Maybe she was still asleep right? Because this was bloody impossible.

"Robin!" Mal says from behind her and woah!

"Good morning. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Regina went completely blank.

 


	8. Chapter 8

"Unexpected clashes between past and present may arouse a surge of bewilderment, but 'time' can be a redeemer and heal mental wreckage. Time might prove to be a dependable ally and a reliable coach to find a new inspiring sequel for the future." ― Erik Pevernagie

 

There were no words to be spoken at that particular moment. As she stood there, rooted into place, Regina gawks at the man in front of her, like bluntly gawking because she didn't believe he was there. All felt like a very vivid dream. The scent of sea salt assaulted her senses but mixed with something she had never smelled before, it was almost woodsy. It smelled like freedom. It smelled like a path down memory lane, but not her own, no. Regina felt like she was accessing the memories of another person and it is with shocking revelation that she concludes that all this time she had been doing just that. For weeks now, the brunette had been reading his journal, his journey through life. She had been putting on his shoes (which by the way are too big to even fit her; she can tell by just a glance to the floor, glance that makes her aware of how rude she is being) and trying to recreate his life in hopes to gain the same results as him, which are a bit unknown to her.

"Excuse me?" The male voice speaks, and Regina shakes her head.

Yes, right they have a visitor.

Collecting herself in the best manner that she could, Regina took a deep breath and step back, allowing the man space to come inside. "Sorry, please do come in." When he nods and does just that, Regina closes the door behind her, forehead resting against the wooden surface, eyes shutting close. So far, her hosting skills had left something to be desired. By the time she turned around to see his back, Malorie was already in the room as well.

"Robin, it is so good to see you." The tall blonde arms are around the man's shoulders as his are around her slim waist. The hug is a few seconds long, as if they were trying to decipher if it was real or not. Once they were satisfied with the embrace, they pull apart but their hands were clasping together quickly.

"I have to say, I was a little surprise with your request to meet you here but I am glad you ask. The last time I was here, well lets just say I had a world of revelations." Robin spoke, a hand reaching the back of his neck to scratch the skin there. Regina was still staring, words superfluous at that very moment. She was still wrapping her head around the fact that Robin, the man she had spent weeks imagining speaking the ink on his journal was in her presence. The man who unknowingly to him, had left a mark upon her mind and heart. The fact that Mal completely blindsided her wasn't sticking to Regina's mind, well after the woman spoke once more to respond to Robin's words.

"I thought you might appreciate the view." Mal looks over Robin's shoulder, a snicker finding its way to her lips as she saw Regina, loss for word. "Dear you are gonna drown us with your drooling."

And Regina snapped back to reality. Deft hand pushing hair strands of hair back a scoff coming quickly afterwards. "I am not drooling." As soon as composure kicks in, Regina is taking a few steps towards the arch way that lead to the living room and kitchen. "I am simply surprised." Robin looks between both woman, looking like a lost puppy and Regina had to admit it was adorable.

But there was no time to think about that, not when he was there in her house (technically her father's). It was the last thing she imagine to happen that morning. Mal' really outdid herself with this one. Getting back at her shall be a really hard task. Wait, who is she kidding? The odds of her doing such a thing are really slim, actually, Regina will end up thanking her friend for this, even if in that moment she doesn't want to admit she is genuinely happy of having Robin there. Now, the only thing left was this, will he disappoint her? Mills had been imagining meeting him, had visualize many scenarios all with high expectations and the sole thought of him not meeting any of them was something that actually worries Regina.

She needs caffeine.

The brunette first thought is to serve herself a really strong cup of coffee, little sugar, and whole lot of bitterness to wake herself up from what it seems to be a daydream. Because she still feel like dreaming. The moment Regina picks up the coffee pot, a clear of throat is heard, and has her turning her body to where the sound came from. Mal stood there, brows creasing and Mills has to roll her eyes pointedly at the blonde before moving her gaze to Robin's form. "Would you wish a cup of coffee?" Regina ask politely. When Robin nodded, a soft melodious 'Yes, please.' coming from him, the woman turns, arms stretching to open the overhead cupboard where ceramic mugs were safely tucked. She got out four mugs, one for herself, Malorie, her father and their visitor, Robin. But for the time being she only served three seeing as Henry is yet to make an appearance. Once all of them are served, Regina proceeds to place them in front of the blonde and the british guy. Sugar and creme following behind so they could prepare their hot beverages at their own taste.

The air felt loaded, static dancing from one place to the other. Moments like this, Regina would be fidgeting, anxious fingers and an even more anxious behavior. The good things at the moment was that she had her hands busy moving the breakfast that she had prepared before Robin arrived to the counter where they were surrounding. Still, the volatile energy roam freely in the pit of her stomach, reminding Regina that to not make a fool of herself, not in front of him.

"I have to say this a really good cup of coffee..." The deep accent of his voice had Regina gulping, eyes looking elsewhere, anywhere but at him. "Thanks." She mutters, lifting her own mug to take a generous swig of her coffee. Since when is she nervous around men? This was not normal behavior. Regina had always pride herself in the natural flirtatious energy that came from her, even in her depression, the brunette was never the one to be nervous around man. The only reasonable excuse for such a behaviour was that she actually felt something for him? Nah, it was most likely the fact that she had spent time in his mind, the sea of ink that was his journal. To put it into a simple word, Regina was starstruck. Certainly doesn't help that his handsome, has an accent, cyanic eyes deep as the ocean and a stare that most likely can read her soul. Because even if she isn't looking at hims perse, Regina can feel his eyes on her, examining, trying to get a better look on who she is.

Maybe she is actually paranoid and imagining all of this.

But when she looks across from her and their eyes met, something like spark could be taste in the air.

Yes, she is definitely paranoid.

Regina inwardly curses herself and the awkward situation she is slowly getting into. If the brunette doesn't get a hold of herself, one false step could be the ruin of everything. It was like being a teenager all over again, Regina is trying not to make a fool of herself in front of her crush and so far she is failing. Strange that she actually feels that way. Feeling before Daniel never seem to present themselves at this stage of her life but here she is feeling like that and she is actually surprised. To be able to, momentarily, return to who she was back then makes Mills believe that gradually she is rediscovering herself once more. The prospect has her smiling, more than she should.

"Something funny?" Malorie asks, and pop went the bubble surrounding Regina's inner monologue. Her eyes drift from the blonde to the male in their presence, there was curiosity in his bright blue eyes. "Because we would like to laugh as well. C'mon share the joke with the rest of the class." Rolling her eyes, Regina scoffs albeit a tinge of playfulness was laced to her action. It was so like Mal to be this caustic maintaining a level of lovable aura around her.

"Nothing. Can't I be happy or smile for no apparent reason?" The 'bullshit' look covered the blonde's features, mouth opening to counter what Regina just said and no, she cannot. So Regina perks up a bit, mouth opening quickly, "Why don't you go and get my father? I'm sure he'll be happy that you escort him to the kitchen." Regina was quick to stand up, walking to the blonde's side. The brunette wrapped her arm around the other, pulling Malorie up to stand. Mills whispers to her ear, "Whatever you were going to say don't. I don't need to make a bigger idiot of myself." Mal snickers.

"Whatever." Was all she said before leaving to look for Henry. Once she was left alone with Robin, the brunette returned to where she previously was, taking between her hands the cup of coffee and taking a swig. The awkwardness danced around the air, and all Regina could do is drink her coffee and pretend that she was alone but that didn't last long.

"This is a lovely home you have here." And shit, she should probably follow-up what he said. They can have a conversation, right? She should at least try. Regina cleared her throat, looking up from her mug to him, as composed as she could. "Thanks. But it isn't mine. This house belongs to my father and his side of the family. This is the first time I've stayed here." And it was the truth, she doesn't have a big recollection of her childhood, or rather not of this place. Her mother once told her that they've visited Sicily household a long time ago but Regina is pretty sure Cora meant Zelena and not her. For some reason the older Mills never had the memories of Regina. Nevertheless, it wasn't the time to think about that, not now, not in front of him.

"Still it is beautiful. From what I've gathered looking around, the house seem to have the architecture artwork. It is rare to see such a sight." Robin's eyes were taking in every detail, every nook and cranny around the kitchen. It was amazing to see him enjoy his surroundings in such a way.

"You speak like an architecture." Regina tilts her head to the side, curious stare on him.

Robin laughs. "I've just seen many amazing building and places, I can tell the difference."

"Just by looking at it?" She asks, brow raising.

"You'd be surprised the many things you can tell about a place or a person if you observed closely." He rose his coffee cup, motioning to slight toast before taking a generous mouthful of his coffee. Somehow, Regina felt like he wasn't talking about the house but an entire different thing and she'll roll with it.

"Is that so?" She asks, the previous nervous energy converting into pure amusement and she can work with that. "Something tells me we aren't talking about the house anymore."

"Do you want to talk about the house?" He shot back, coffee forgotten, his attention fully on her.

"That depends, what else do you have in mind?" Leaning forward, Robin's hands clasp over the smooth, granite surface. "Well..." He trails off, nooming on his lower lip and her eyes wouldn't stop drifting there and shit. "I was thinking that maybe we could talk about that wedding you wanted me to attend with you."

Oh...

Ohh...

OH...

"Excuse me?" She couldn't even fathom the words that Robin had expressed. Regina knew from the very moment the idea came up it was a longshot and after Mal had said that, no he couldn't, the brunette had resign herself to whatever was to come. Deciding to not participate in the circus that her sister's wedding had been the right call. The last thing Regina needed was to come out with a case of madness. It had taken so much to finally be in a place where happiness is achievable, where her depression had been receding. Hence why she hadn't really spoken of it again with Malorie. Her blonde friend had made the effort but it wasn't in the cards for her to go to her devil of a sister's wedding.

Robin brows were creasing quickly, "It is for you that Malorie asked me. Or was it not?"

"Yes it was..."

"Then we can talk about that." He smiles grew slowly, and Regina was at loss for words, again. Been happening a lot lately. "I say yes."

Her brow furrow, her heart stopping for a moment. There were times, mostly at night while she waited for sleep to come, Regina imagined how it would be to have Robin around if only for one day. She had taken a shine to his writing, to his persona in the journal and it was no wonder why she had developed a slight crush on him. But reality always came crushing down, and when it shock her awake, well she allow those foolish notions leave. That is why she had a hard time believing this particular moment was real. Maybe she was still in bed, half awake, half asleep dreaming with Robin and the stupid wedding she doesn't even want to go.

But his smile.

That smile made her believe that this was real.

"What about it?" She asks back, playing with the mugs in her hands. Definitely fidgeting. "I was asked if I could go with you. Something about a really bratty sister and a brainless brother-in-law." Regina couldn't help laughing. Mal sure had a way with words. "That seems about right." A smirk, a glance is all it takes for the man to laughs gently. "I know what I said, and yes I had other plans but..." Robin clears his throat, a slight blush on his cheeks. "...I would love to go with you."

Regina watches him with wide eyes and disbelief. The fact that those words had come out of him left Regina in awe. Yes, she wanted nothing more than that but there's a catch here, or maybe she is imagning it. A hand ran across her dark locks, trying to calm herself down. This days has already been full of surprises. "May I ask, why?"

The man shrugs, "Mal doesn't actually ask for favors, not for herself. The fact that ask me for you lets me believe that you are a really important person to her." Those words warmed the hell out of her heart. Regina always believe that her friendship with Malorie was truly special but she really grasp how much exactly. "And someone that's special for her is worth meeting and looking at you I can see why. You are beautiful but that's not why. Your eyes..." Regina gulps, ears trained on him. "They hold a bitterness, a certain sadness but at the same time a light that could only be describe as hope. You have a beautiful soul and I don't need to know you for years to see it."

He was too much. Kind, loving, inspiring and a complete gentleman. She could barely look at him, her cheeks were flaring up, her stomach a jungle of feelings. Regina knew he was a good soul, she just didn't know how beautiful. He was making it hard for her to keep usual cool and collected persona in check. When Regina finally finds it in herself to given an answer, Malorie and Henry walked right into the kitchen.

"Good morning dear." Henry speaks, approaching Regina to kiss her temple. With a smile is receive the sweet action but his smile falters when dark eyes fall on the man sitting across from her. "You!" He exclaims in full surprise. For a moment Regina was lost, not understanding his reaction but her mind made the connection quickly, the journal. Briefly she had forgotten that Robin and Henry had met years ago, both in need of something, Henry for Regina and Robin for himself and oddly enough Robin had provided the help she needed.

"I cannot believe this." Robin quickly stood up, walking around the counter. Hand outstretched to shake the older man. Her father did the same. "It is nice to see you." The blue-eyed man said. He look pleased, happy to be able to see Henry again. As they shared their hellos and pleasantries, Malorie stood beside her.

"So?" The blonde spoke.

"So what?" Regina shot back. Mal smirks, nudging her side gently.

"Isn't he dreamy." The brunette rolled her eyes, fighting back a smile, because yes, he was but it wasn't the time to have this type of conversation, especially not with Robin less than three feet away.

"Not now." The brunette spoke, picking up her coffee and drinking what remains. After the two-man finish their hellos, with the promise of talking later on in-depth, they turned the two females. Regina cleared her throat, standing up. "How about we eat something and we can later do something. I suppose Robin would love a tour around." The man smiled, "Alright, lets eat." The brunette began taking out empty plates, placing them on the free space. Once done, she moved the coffee pot to the middle and reclaim her chair. Everyone began to gather around, taking their places and filling them with the massive breakfast Regina had prepared. There was peace, a huge amount of it actually and Regina couldn't be happier.

 


	9. Chapter 9

"It's not the amount of time that makes something real. It's what happens in that time." -Gabe, from Freeks by Amanda Hocking

"It was death that gave life its meaning." -Ezra, from Swear by Amanda Hocking

There is always one moment, one defining the moment in which we step out of our bodies watching the atmosphere, our surroundings go by. Moving in slow-motion as destiny runs its course and changes your life forever. That one second, that catalyst, shapes us to become the best or worse versions of ourselves, but it is up to you to decide what exactly will you be. Are you gonna allow the pain and hopelessness take over, or are you gonna take life by the horns and push back? It doesn't happen overnight, deciding what you are gonna do, it takes time. Countless of hours grieving, a sea of tears, a universe of pain and a lifetime of living with the memories that will make you who you are...

Good or bad, the rest is up to you.

Everyone steps out of their bodies once or twice in their entire lifetime. It gives perspective, clarity or darkness, direction. Pain demands to be felt, but what you do with that pain is up to you. Life is not a linear thing. With the constants twists and turns, with the many forks in the road, it proves to be difficult to outline your life a parallel standard. So the question that begs to be questioned, 'Where do you go from here?' A question with an incredible lengthy answer. A question that couldn't possibly be answered overnight. Like Robin found out the hard way.

Life is a pyramid of choices and consequences. A good foundation would allow it to withstand that harshest winters and the hottest summer, but one hollow block could be catastrophic and it's back to the drawing board.

No exceptions, especially not for Robin Gael Locksley.

The morning Robin got the call, his life was altered forever. He had everything, life, figured out to the tiniest of details. Everything with Marian was pretty much layout since the first moment he lay eyes on her, love at first sight. And even though people would claim it is stupid to pursuit such notion, Robin's heart knew that it was true, that Marian was the one and only one for him. But life had other plans, and as much as he yelled, as much as he cried and cursed and wallow in the pain of losing one's loved one, in the end, life took its course, taking a life with it. He should have been at her side on her final, moment, he should have heard her last words to him carefully. Marian knew that her end was near and he turned a blind eye and closed his ear to the truth. Sooner or later God was going to pluck a flower, but even then he wasn't preparing for the last goodbye. As much as it hurts, the perfect being that was Marian Locksley was lost to him, forever. Though her memory lives on in everything. In that field of sunflowers, they had their first date, in the sound of the waves on a dark night where he proposed, heck she even lived in the laughed off her favorite romantic comedies; in the books, she read a million times over, in the music that she listened to get inspiration. Her body was gone, but her heart and her shining soul were pretty much embedded in his own.

It did take time to gather the pieces of his broken self. It took time to put them together piece by piece. But he wasn't alone. He had a network of friends and family that had managed to pull him from down under, the rest was up to him. Robin decided that it was time to be stronger because it was useless to throw away the good just because the big guy decided that he needed one more angel in the heavens to look over those who weren't strong enough to stand on their own. He prays that Marian was looking at him, that she was proud of him, that he would become the greatest version of himself to honor the memory of the woman that made him believe in love.

|xXx|

"Belle, did you finish doing inventory?" Robin asked, moving boxes from one place to the other. It was a rather slow day in the restaurant, and Belle had suggested taking advantage of it so they could have the weekend with more ease and he was all up for it. Ever since he returned from his trip, Locksley had wanted to catch up with friends but the lack of time was preventing him from such a feat. His sister knew him well enough to suggest to move things up so he could make the time. "I did, you need to sign the forms for the new shipment." The blonde said, popping into the room seconds later, papers and pen in hand. Robin took them from her hands, and with a quick look at them, he signed. There was no need to read them, Belle as the avid reader that she is, made sure to read every single paper he needed to sign and if there was something wrong she would make sure to put everything in order. "Oh, and you have a visitor." His eyes followed Belle's retrieving form with a slight raise of his brow. The man took a deep breath and made it to the front desk where a tall, slender blonde was waiting for him. There was no need to see her face, he just knew who she was by the way the room seem to be on fire just by her mere presence.

"Mal!" Robin exclaimed, heading directly to her. The blonde turned on her heels, giving him that one look over that made the man laugh. "Look at you." She said, with a grin. "Traveling definitely suits you." Without a hint of hesitation, Robin pulled the blonde into a hug, her own arms coming around his frame hugging tight back.

"How long has it been?'' The male questioned, pulling back, although reluctantly. The tall woman heaves a sigh, shoulders slumping into what appears to be a shrug.

"The last time I saw you was about a year ago or was it two?" Eyes narrowed Robin's way, he bristles. "We may live in the same city but you are never around."

The male chuckled, nodding his head softly. It was true, most of his time is spent traveling, seeing the world, and documenting the finding that his heart and soul made. It was his way of honoring Marian, living to the fullest with zero regrets later. Though it does take him away from the people he loves, like Belle and Mal there present but it also gives the man the opportunity to make new friends, meet new people and see how their experiences in life have shaped them. He always like history, and this, what he was doing felt like a history book waiting to be published. That is why he writes everything down, from what he saw on the way he felt at that moment. Ink and words were the most important part of the process of moving on because that is exactly he had been doing since Marian died back in 2010. "I apologize, really." He laughed, adding. "But I did invite you a few years back to travel with me but you denied my request. Honestly, I am still hurt." It was Mal's turn to laugh, though her expression did morph into something more serious a few seconds later.

"I told you why..." And he nods, understanding that Mal had something important to do or rather, someone to take care off.

"I know and I understand." He took a deep, lines of expression deepening. Back then, the blonde didn't give him much information about the person she was quietly looking after, all knew could deduce was that Mal cared deeply for that person and wanted to make sure that she was alright. It was proof of the big heart his friend had even though she tried to mask it behind that cold-hearted exterior she tends to pretend to have. Robin had always been grateful to her because like that mystery person she is now looking over, the man had been, once upon a time ago, in the same situation. If you are being taken care off by this beautiful woman in front of him, then you would never fall down the abyss. "How is she?" He asked, tilting his head. She didn't answer right away, customers began to filter in for the lunch hour, and Belle came from the other room.

"Why don't you guys sit down." She said, taking the towel that was on Robin's shoulder to clean the already pristine counter. "I'll send you something to drink once I'm done getting orders." Robin nodded, a grateful smile covering his lips as he guided Mal to one of the tables. The blonde followed his lead and a little after two minutes they were seated on one of the tables.

"Sorry lunch rush is about to happen." He settled on the chair, looking over at Malorie, his face set in an apologetic smile to which the woman dismiss, waving her hand.

"Don't worry. I should have come earlier but I got sidetracked booking a flight."

Oh, that gathered his attention.

"Where are you going?" He asked, interest coating his words like honey. Malorie chuckles.

"Sicily."

That really, really gathered his attention.

"Beautiful place." He said nonchalantly, sitting back and crossing his arms. The memories of the man he met there were vivid. Robin still regrets that he didn't, couldn't, do anything to ease that man's mind and he had vowed to return and search for him but many, many things seem to get in the way of him doing so. Now seem like the perfect opportunity to do so but Robin didn't say a word. This was her trip, after all, the last thing he wanted was, to impose his presence.

"So I've heard." And Robin frowned. The action causes Malorie to chortle. "A friend of mine is there." She explained and oh, okay now he understands. "Which is why I am here." Alright, he is lost again.

"What do you mean?" His arms dropped to the side, eyes trained on the blonde across him. Robin can practically see the gears in her head turning, planning, calculating every word that is going to leave her mouth any minute now. Something told Robin that he was part of her scheme. He knew her well enough to come down to that conclusion.

"My friend, the one I told you about a while back, is visiting her father in Sicily." At that very moment, Belle appeared with lemonade for the both of them. Malorie looks up with a smile and thanks on her lips before picking up her glass of lemonade, taking a generous sip. Robin is looking at the blonde carefully, almost meticulously. There something more going on in her head, and he is just waiting for her to say exactly what it is.

"So...?" His eyes narrowed, again, arms crossed over his chest as he simply waited.

"So..." She mimicked with a smirk and oh boy she is dancing around this too much. Usually, she is more direct but today she isn't being her usual self. He wonders what is Mal going to ask that has her beating around the bushes like this. "I need a favor." Aha, so far so good, Robin thought. "Remember when I asked you if you could be my friend's date for her sister wedding?"

"Yes and I told you that date I have a meeting with potential investors that want to turn my restaurant into a chain one." It was an extremely important date for him. This little place, Valiant Hoodlum was his pride and joy. Between all the wood and painting all around the place, it was like stepping into the forest. If you had a very good sense of smell, you could even smell the forest scent all over the place. Not many people had the luxury of taking in such a scent and the ones who did, are probably people with high levels of anxiety, this usually calms them down.

Mal's eyes leveled with his, "What if I go to the meeting in your place, with Belle of course and you go to the wedding?" His eyes widen upon hearing her proposal. It wasn't a bad one, actually having Mal backing him in this deal would gain him a lot of benefits. Still, it surprised him, this woman, Regina, must mean a lot to the blonde if she is willing to do this for her, which instill more in him the curiosity to actually meet her.

"My you really are going all out for her." He points out, but it is without malice. Actually, there's admiration embedded to his words and the blonde's picked up on it because it has her smirking.

"Some people are worth the effort." Malorie picked up her beverage, taking a generous sip of it. Robin could feel her eyes on him, the air thickening if only a little as she waited for his reply. He wasn't obligated to say yes. The woman was simply asking for a favor and she was giving him an option. Robin doesn't make it a habit of saying no, or at least to the people he cared most off, and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to start now. Besides, the more his friend kept talking about that mysterious woman, the more he wanted to meet her but there were conditions to be met, he was going to need to put a few of his own.

"Alright, I accept. Just..." Robin trailed off, thinking of a way to phrase what he was going to say next. "I need to meet her before the wedding. So, do you mind if I give you an impromptu visit while you are in Sicily? I promise to behave."

"Fine," Malorie said, putting her glass on the table. "But I'm not responsible for the outcome of that day..." But the smile that Mal had given him was enough, the woman was excited for this and oddly enough, so was he.

|xXx|

Life is an unexpected turn of events that circle out the circumstances that we provoked for ourselves. From a chance meeting with a stranger to that stranger actually having ties in his life. Well, he doesn't know Regina that much, only what he had heard from her father all those years ago and what Mal had expressed of her. Other than that, the woman was, is, still pretty much an enigma to him. What he did not expect was to be struck by her in such a way. Her beauty was unlike any other and her eyes were two precious stones that told so many sad stories. It was like meeting a long forgotten version of himself only the opposite sex. It makes Robin wonder if the sadness that carries so dear to her is an equal to the one he once held? The memories of a life lost would certainly be the base to that sadness, and he finds himself asking questions that only Regina could answer. But they only just met, and it would be rude to assume that she would just accept the inquiries. They would probably have time to talk about them. For now, he will just enjoy the sounds of the waves, the salty breeze and the way peace embraces him.

"There you are..." A female voice momentarily cuts through his musing, his head turning enough to be able to see who was there. Regina stood rather awkwardly, hands back as if shielding something from him. "Mal told me I might find you here..." Taking careful steps, the brunette settled at his side. Robin couldn't help smiling.

"I wasn't hiding or anything." He accommodated himself to sit with crossed legs, back straightening in response to her nearness. His eyes went to the horizon, sky meeting water in infinite awe. "I'm quite fond of the beach, that's all." To that Regina nods, he can see it in the corner of his eyes. He could also see how tense she actually was, which caused him to fully look at her. "Everything alright?"

She seems to breathe out, her hands fidgeting with something on her hands. He would look at it more closely but he doesn't want to come across rude. Whatever she is nervous about, she would speak, right? "This is yours..." Regina's voice was surprisingly soft, almost shy. It made something inside of him feel all soft and fuzzy, a smile sprung to his face only to be replaced with a frown when he eyes landed on what the brunette was offering. How in the world did she end up with his diary? The question seemed to be written on his face because Regina took a really deep breath and started to speak. "A few weeks ago I visited your restaurant with Mal. It is beautiful by the way..." His smile returned as she continues speaking. "See I was on my way to the bathroom when I found it on the floor. I know it is a big invasion of privacy to read someone else's journal but my curiosity is a truly savage thing." They both laughed at the same time, the tension-defusing and with it, the nerves that had plagued the brunette from the very beginning.

"Anyway, a few weeks later I found out that this belonged to the owner of the restaurant. I wanted to take it back but I read it, or least the first two entries and I was hooked." To hear someone speak of something he wrote like that, made the male feel happy. "So I kept it until today. I honestly haven't in full."

"Why not?" Robin asked genuinely curious of her answer.

Regina pressed her lips into a thin line. "Because I've been traveling to the same places you visited, in the same order to try to relieve your experience, to walk a mile in another person's shoes that had gone through loss..." Her hand was still extended, the leather bound journal still in her hands. He wasn't wrong in his assessment. Regina had the same soul as him, battered by pain, soothed by loneliness. They weren't that different after all, well his persona back then with her right now. Still, there was so much she could learn, so much she should see before accepting that journal again so he decided then what was need to be done. "Keep it." He placed a hand on top of hers, gently pushing the leather clad journal back to her. "At least finish it. Finish your quest and maybe we can have a conversation about later on." It would be interesting for him to do so. Regina seemed like the type of person that had a deep understanding about life and if she didn't now, he was confident that at the end of the journey she will.

"Are you sure?" Regina questioned again, and it only made the man chuckle. The doubts swirled around her dark eyes and he needed to make sure that they disappeared.

"Positive." The man smiled. At his answer, Regina nodded, putting the notebook beside her and just looking at the horizon. There was something magical about the beach. Maybe it is the fact that the line where the sky and the sea meet holds answers that couldn't get just by staring at it. Or maybe it was the air that poured possibilities. Whatever it was, whatever interpretation Regina gave this place, it was probably giving her more questions to answer later on.

"You know what helps?" He suddenly questions, eyes drifting from the water to Regina. Feeling like he was watching her, Regina looked at him. When their gazes locked together, he had to forced to gulp down, hard. It was intense, loaded with emotions he couldn't identify, and maybe he shouldn't. His best bet was to ignore them for the moment, Robin needed to understand her first before trying to decipher the sudden surge of feelings that had attacked him in that moment. Later he can try to understand what he feels for a woman he just met.

When Regina doesn't say anything, waiting for him to answer his own question, he chuckled. There was a certain amount of adorableness in her expression. "Writing." He said casually. "It helps more than you can imagine." She fixed him with a 'really?' sort of stare, but he doesn't take back what he said. Robin can see the words running around her head, phrases like 'Writing is a waste of time' quickly coming to him. He cannot fault her for thinking like. Once upon a time, he believed the same thing. At first, he didn't know where to begin or what style of writing he should adopt. It wasn't until he began traveling that Robin found purpose in letters and ink. "You'd be surprised the freedom the simple act of putting thoughts into paper can set you free."

Robin could see in her eyes, many questions were running wild, begging to asked but something was stopping her, and he couldn't understand what exactly. Maybe it was due to the fact that her mind couldn't decide where she should begin. So he waited, watched her carefully ponder each and every one of the words he had spoken, not he said much. It was as if she believe he held a second meaning, which they had none, Robin was a pretty straight-forward man.

"Not everyone is good with words." Not a question, a statement from her part, one that he can agree on, but that agreement was only fifteen percent there.

"You're right, not everyone is good with words." Regina deflated against herself, clearly upset of the answer he had given her. "But everyone has a story to tell, everyone has the capacity to envisioned the electrical current of memories. And honestly? I am curious to know about your story."

Mills looked at him with a strange look. A mixture of awe with self-doubts and confusion. That much doesn't go unnoticed by him. Robin can see that Regina is an enigma. Someone who has lived a life full of pain and suffering. Though he already knew that thanks to the conversation he had with Henry Mills years ago even though his knowledge on the matter was little to none. But now he knows, more, now he can, hopefully, help Regina in the capacity he can of course. The road less traveled ahead in Regina's to walk on.

Still, she is still debating over the words that have been spoken, words she wants to say but are having a hard time coming out. Her dark eyes are a beautiful reflection of her inner self, even if she had adapted to not let show what she truly feels. Robin feels like he had known her forever. Hard to believed the met just a few hours ago. When she actually has the words on the tip of her tongue, Regina losses a breath and Robin held his. "What if my story is dull, empty and not remotely interesting as yours?" Her fingers flexed against the journal she intended to return but he declined. For a long moment, Robin doesn't say anything just stares at her and thinks. The air around them had suddenly turned heavy. He didn't have a clear-cut answer to her question, but just because he didn't, doesn't mean he wouldn't try.

"Did you read the journal completely?" Taken aback by him answering with another question, she simply shrugged, shaking her head no. "Why?" He asked, but before she could even answer the inquiry, he was speaking again. "Did you read the ending?"

"No." This time she was quicker to answer.

"Why?" He asked, again and Regina huffed. She was starting to get annoyed. Good, a little fire is what this conversation may need.

"Father said I should read it fully and not skip ahead."

"But you want to read it." It wasn't a question, not this time. When she nods, he laughed.

"One cannot pretend to ignore the last page when someone else tells you not to read it. I honestly dislike being told to not read the ending ahead of time, in any book." The annoyance in her made the man chuckled, only stopping when Regina fixed him with a glare that could make planets explode.

"Why are you so eager to know the ending of a story?" Robin asked, wanting to know Regina's answer to his question. He gave her the time to collect her thoughts, to answer when she prepared to do so. Robin could see the gears in her head turning, looking for what, she might think is, the right answer. Somehow he knows she'll give him the obvious one.

"The ending is the best part." Ha! He knew it. "The ending is where we knew if the protagonist has a happy ending or a poor one."

Robin hummed, mulling over her words. Everyone wants a happy ending, it's practically written in out DNA to desire it. Some go about the wrong way but the strive for happiness, in their own twisted way. Others have a clear view of the path they want to walk to get there. Robin sighed, "For a really long time I believed that my happy ending was Marian. I thought I was meant to have a big family with her, that we would grow old together and if we were lucky enough, we would see our grandkids grow. Turns out I was wrong." Mentioning Marian, mentioning all the plans they had together was always a sore point in Robin's life. It cast shadows upon shadows to his soul and fill him with a pain he doesn't wish on anyone. But time had been a good teacher. Time had taught Robin how to forged inner fortitude to go on with his life. Time had given him a unique glance into his heart. Things change, he certainly has. "Happy endings are just that endings. Just because the girl gets the prince or the guy gets the girl, doesn't mean the story ends there. If there's love there how or when it was born? Are they compatible? Truth is that we know only what the writer wants us to know, the good things, but what of the dark side of the story? The moon is bright and beautiful but even she had a dark side." The man breathed out a short sigh, "Writers don't always capture the real essence of a relationship, the are knots, kinks to work out. "

Regina bite her lower lip, watching him intently. Her gaze is like a warm glow, it filled Robin with something, that again, he shouldn't think about. "That's why books usually have sequels," Regina said with a smirk and sure, he'll give her that one. He laughed again, it was easy to laugh around her.

"Sure sequels are good and all but that don't give you a 'Previously' segment where they tell you what they had gone through so far. Always off to the next arc. That's why I love the middle. The mystery, all the questioned still unanswered. That's the real thrill of a story."

"Alright, mystery man." She relented with a shrug, though the previous smirk was still there.

"What I'm trying to say is the important part isn't the destination but the journey there." Putting a thinking pout, Robin searches for the right words to summarize better his point. Usually, an easy task when writing, but as he needs to voice it out, his mind goes blank and frustration begins to sink in. Then he has an idea. Standing up, Robin heads to the shore. Regina's curious stare is on him like a hawk but he just ignores it for the time being. The man picked a stick from the ground and began to write, silently glad that the tide isn't high and it won't wash away what he is writing. By the time he finished, Regina was standing beside him. "When I started traveling around the world it was to fill a void that Marian left behind but this experience turned out to be something bigger than me. I met people that had gone through worse and survive. I've seen the face of despair, and realized that my pained reflection in the mirror was only temporary." He turned to Regina, whose eyes were the glue to the words written on the sand. "I learned that we need to take chances, to free the voice inside your soul. Once you do, you'll become an expert on listening to people's heart not only your on." A smile was on his lips, as he looked at her. Regina finally turned to him, her own lips curling into what he could only call the most beautiful smile he ever lay eyes on. Everything he had seen in the world failed in comparison to that glimmer of light in Regina's face. He could feel his heart beating hard against his ribcage and oh Lord, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HIM? She pushed a hair strand behind her ear and took her phone out to take a picture of the sand.

'You have a beautiful smile.'

_When I was a Little boy, my father gave me my first book, Life's little instruction book. It had hundreds and hundreds of suggestions, observations, and reminders on how to live a happy, rewarding life. I remember that the first suggestion was to compliment three people every day._

Regina was the only person he would compliment that day.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Hope is a powerful thing. Some say it's a different breed of magic altogether. Elusive, difficult to hold on to. But not much is needed.

― Stephanie Garber, Caraval

_November 18, 2010_

_After a while of just traveling around, I decided that it was time to go back home. No, not London, America. Don't get me wrong, I love my country, more than words could ever express but there was nothing more left for me there. Just memories of an unlived past with a person I will never get a chance to see again. Memories, they hurt so much but they are also the ones that keep you tethered to life. For better of for worse, what you've lived, the experiences you have gone through are million of tiny catalyst that mold you to be the person that you need to be, not the one you want to be._

_This doesn't mean that your past defines you._

_No._

_swiped only means that you have the opportunity to use your memories for good or bad. It is like a hangover. You pour yourself too much from one memory, get drunk in it, act on it and then passed out. The morning after you suffers a massive hangover. This is just one consequence, the one that comes from drinking too much but what about the other pen? The ones that come by the hand of actions that you took while being drunk while being too high on emotions?_

_See? We are responsible for the things we share or not. We are responsible either giving into the pain or manipulating it to gain something more?_

_That's a memory._

_A Feelings._

_An Images in your head._

_And a scar on your soul._

_So no, I can't go back, I want to but everytime that I try to find an iron will to do so, I coward before the possibility of going back home. It is a horrible feeling. It grips at my very soul and I hate it and that's saying something because I don't hate a lot of things. I hated death but that's inevitable. I hated life but that's inevitable too. It's kinda like having an existential crisis and you overthink everything. The more you think about something so specific like life or death, your surroundings don't hit pause, and you miss things. there_

_I know how much this particular entry conflicts with my first one. Truth is, these words were written before I even considered traveling. And you might think 'wow this guy needs help he's not making sense' But I am making sense to myself, I'm trying to understand myself. Isn't that the whole point of living? We go through life wondering, questioning our very on existence, the essence of who we are, and what kind of memories are we to others. We are contradictions, a juxtaposition of many images, of people, places, sounds, textures. So different visually but the same inside. One heart, two lungs, red blood._

_Images._

_Memories._

_We live, we love, we cry, we get angry, swiped resign ourselves, we live._

_Another day, another picture book of memories._

_So I wondered, what kind of memory am I to you, reader?_

_Still finding my way,_

_Robin._

|xXx|

A week.

It has only been a week since she met him and her life was completely altered. No, that's a lie. Regina's life was altered the moment she found Robin's journal about two months ago, but meeting him made everything the more real. After all, Robin had been memories on ink and photos but seeing him, touching him made everything palpable. Even her crush became stronger. Robin was like a fictional character that she had come to love and admire, but he wasn't real so she just allowed her crush to fester into an illusion. Nevertheless, that moment on the beach between them made the brunette realize that maybe it wasn't something more than just simple attraction to his soul. It is too early to give a name to whatever Robin makes her feel and it is probably a mistake to allow herself to feel more for him, but she soon realized that she doesn't want to stop her heart from beating a tad faster after hearing his name. Or the way her skin crawl whenever she reads something of his. Robin probably doesn't feel the same, but at least the darkness in her heart is receding, if only a little.

As the days passed by and Zelena's wedding inched closer, Regina's nerves took a turn for the worse. Under normal circumstances, she would have brushed everything off when it concerned her sister but this time was different because of him, Robin. The way Regina saw it, Robin was the purest thing in her life right now and him meeting her toxic sister does frighten Regina. But he agreed, even after they talked about what type of person was Zelena. Sure, she didn't go into deeps about her relationship with her sister, but he didn't push it.

After careful consideration, Regina decided to put a hold on her journey to go back to Los Angeles. The wedding was only a week away and Robin and she needed to talk about it. There were a lot of details they had to go over. Cora will most like bombard the man with the question about where they met and things like that and Zelena being Zelena she'll probably do the same but less passive-aggressive than their mother. Robin had informed the brunette that he was touching Los Angeles soon as well so she could go to the restaurant and get on that.

To say she was nervous was an understatement.

Since their conversation at the beach, they haven't been left alone again. All the questions in her head were on pause until today. Maybe, if she is lucky, she'll learn more about him, things that aren't on the journal. Sure, she hasn't finished but Regina knows that when they talk, the next time she reads her perspective would be altered. It already happened anyway.

When he first proposed that they should get together, Regina had a bit of a panic attack. It was an adorable thing, or at least that's what Mal had said, but after a while, she settled down. They've talked from time to time during the two weeks since they've met. Robin had asked Regina for her cell phone number and she had gladly given it to him. Their conversation revolved around the places they visited, well the ones she had visited so far. Robin gave her some curious notes about his trips, things he didn't actually pen down. Needless to say, Regina had enjoyed those little texting chats. They were droplets of knowledge handed down by a soul that had explored to a full extend what it meant to be alive, even if that journey is infinite and will never come to an end. Howbeit, Regina will take what she gets with open arms and an open mind.

Returning to Los Angeles was a hard transition for Regina. After two months of traveling, sightseeing and soul searching, her apartment felt rather hollow. The first night in, Regina couldn't even find a comfortable position to sleep on her very expensive mattress. She walked around the apartment, aimlessly and jetlag. It was fifteen past midnight and her body and mind cursed at everything. The brunette was about to attempt sleeping again when her phone chimed. Faster than ever before, Regina reached for her phone that was laying on the coffee table. Deft finger swiped the screen, revealing a message from Robin.

"You awake?" Read the message. From two words alone she could sense the hesitation, causing the woman to chuckle as she typed back a short answer back.

"I am," Regina replied back, before writing another text. "It would seem insomnia and jet lag had taken the best of us."

His response was almost immediate, causing Regina to smile.

"You can say that again. This is the only part of traveling that I dislike." She can relate.

"You would've thought it would get easier with time." She replied back. Robin took a little bit of time replying, so while she waited, Regina had laid down on the couch, staring at the poorly dim ceiling.

"I know. But I think it is worth it, at least this time more than my other trips..."

When Regina read the text, she blushed. Somehow it felt like he was talking about their meeting and maybe he was? But Mills couldn't say for sure.

"Anything particularly good happened?" And yeah, she was fishing for information. She watched the screen like a hawk, waiting for Robin to send his answer. The seconds ticked by painfully slow. She could see the bubble in which announced Robin was writing something but it took him forever to send. When he finally did, Regina's heart stopped beating for a second.

"Yes. I met the most beautiful woman in the world. Here is to hoping that she and I can be really good friends."

"Friends are important," Regina replied back. A few seconds later he was replying. Robin was a good texter, she could appreciate that.

"I agree. Especially when one is feeling lonely..."

At that, Regina hummed, understanding what he meant. For a very long time, she had felt like that, lonely, only to be saved from such a feeling thanks to Mal who, ever since they've met, have been there for her. It wasn't easy to find such a dependable friend but she did, and for that she is grateful. The other thing Regina gathered from his text was that he might be feeling lonely at the moment. It honestly made her cringe, and a bit sad. Robin was a cheerful person, that much she gathered from their little time together back in Sicily, so knowing that he was feeling this way, well it didn't sit well with her.

"Well if you are feeling lonely, I'm here for you, whenever you like." It made her feel a tad embarrassed to send him that but at the same time, it felt right. They were the right words to say. Everyone deserved to be told that they aren't alone, that there's always going to be someone who's going to be disposed to listen whenever it was needed. If Regina could be that person for Robin then she would be.

"Thanks." Was his short reply, and she wished she could see his face. Her fingers were ready to type something simple as 'You're welcome' when another message came in. "I'm here too if you want to talk, I promise to listen without judgment." That made her smile.

"Thank you. I'll keep your words close to heart."

"Speaking of which, the purpose of my late night text was to ask if you could, by any chance, come to the restaurant tomorrow? We still need to discuss a lot of things."

And yes he was right. As someone who his sacrificing his time to go with her to a wedding where she is most likely to be torn to shreds, he should know what exactly to expect. Zelena wasn't easy, but bearable, Cora, on the other hand, was not and with her need to pick at everything she does or say or as simple as her company, Regina feels like at the end of the ceremony she'll need to get drunk or unload on someone. Robin was getting himself into a headache of a situation and she'll end up owing him big time.

Regina began typing in the reply. 'Yes, I'll be there.' But then erased it and risked calling him. At first, she thought it was stupid to call, that maybe she should just send the text how she first intended to and be done with it. Actually, she managed to psych herself out of it when Robin answered the phone. Regina gulped the bile that was rising, and her hand suddenly became shaky.

"Hey." He said through the speaker and her stomach did a series of flips that would put an Olympic-trained diver to shame.

"Hey, yourself..." She replied back, there was a waver in her voice and well, could you blame her? Regina felt like she was transported back to high school and was having her first conversation over the phone with her crush. Which is stupid seeing as two weeks ago they were sitting on the shore, talking, and also they've been texting a lot. Nevertheless, talking on the phone felt strangely different.

"It is nice to hear your voice again..." And sure when he say things like that it just makes Regina's nerves only flare even more.

"Likewise."

"So about tomorrow..."

"Yes, I'll be there." Regina was quick to answer.

"Good, maybe I'll get to cook you lunch myself." Now there was an offer she couldn't refuse. Regina grinned despite he couldn't see her.

"Now that sounds intriguing. What would you prepare for me?" She asked, and well he seemed pleased with the question. The hum over the phone suggested that he was thinking in depth what he should make for her.

"You seem like the type who eats healthy..." She hummed, agreeing to that. Robin kept on speaking, "But you also seem like the type who would cheat on her diet from time to time." The memory of that chocolate cake she had on her trip to London came to mind, and yes, she does have her days. "I'll make it a surprise."

"No fair. You can't tease me and then not say anything." Robin's low chuckle over the phone was music to her ears.

"I can and I did. You'll just have to wait until tomorrow and see." Regina's huff over the phone cause Robin to laugh. It was a sound the brunette would never get bored off, it was a sound she would love to hear every day. There was a calming agent in Robin as of whole. From his cyanic eyes to the timber of his voice all the way to his very presence. It was warm and inviting and had Regina's mind thinking over time. Wasn't she supposed to try and go to sleep now? She couldn't, especially not when Robin was on the other side of the line.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Regina spoke, causing Robin to stop laughing, a soft sure coming from over the phone. The brunette fidgeted with the hem of her pajama top, teeth digging onto her lower lip. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Mills to a deep breath, mustering the courage to ask. "Why did you leave London?" Regina knew why, it was in ink on his journal that is still in her possession, but that was written seven years ago, and maybe he feels differently now. The silence over the line was deafening. For a moment she thought that Robin might have hung up, she even looked at the screen. The seconds ticked by but no sound came. "If you don't want to answer you really don't have to." Regina repeated again, feeling absolutely mortified that she had put Robin on the spot.

"I am going to answer." He said Regina took a deep intake of air. "It's just hard to come up with a single answer. I suppose you read what I wrote in the journal, right?"

"I did." Regina supplied.

"That reason hasn't changed. I moved because the memories of what I lived with Marian were eating me alive. Which is the same reason I didn't return until I decided to go on the search for soul food." The brunette heard shuffling, most likely he was accommodating better in his bed or the couch like her. "When I first returned to London there was this pressure on my chest that wouldn't let me be. I had to get out of there as fast as I could. It was a shame, really. I miss my family so much but I can't seem to shake the feeling of abandonment still to this very day." Complete silence took over, Regina mulling over his words. They hit close to home, in a way she didn't expect. For a very long time, the place where Daniel and she once lived was the source of her pain, just like the many pictures on the walls, the sticky notes around the apartment reminding each other of how much they felt. The big and the little things were killing her slowly. What would have been of her if she didn't move away? Would pain fester? "And you Regina, why did you leave New York?"

It was fair that he asked as well. After all, she was prying into his personal life. If he was another person she might not even acknowledge the question, but with Robin, there was no wall, no filter which it was strange seeing as they hadn't known each other until a few weeks ago. Maybe it was the connection she made to him through the many pages of his journal, an insight into his heart and mind, maybe that was why it was easier for Regina to open up. "I thought that leaving the place where I made so many great memories would lessen the pain that Daniel's death left behind." She licked her lips, "But I was fooling myself. I was digging my grave, allowing grief to fester until it reached the breaking point of no return. Little by little I was impoverishing my soul." There was a lump in her throat at that admittance. It was the first time she actually spoke those truthful words out loud. It didn't matter where she went, the memory of Daniel pretty much the same. It bothered her that she could never erase him away because deep down she didn't want him to disappear forever.

"Do you still feel that way?" Robin asked.

But now, at the moment, Regina doesn't feel that way, not since Canada where she finally let go of him. That was the day she decided to move on. "No, I don't." It was nice to not associate Daniel with pain anymore.

"But you still can't return to New York." Robin simply stated to which she had to agree. No, she couldn't, no she didn't want to return. She had made a life outside that city and even if it took her time to realize, it was a good one.

"I made my life here. I have friends I would hate to leave and I was going to say a job but I renounced to that." Regina sighed, "And I met you. So I can't leave, not when I have something good here..." She trailed off, hoping he doesn't feel weird about what she said.

"And I met you." He repeated, Regina flushed. "And you're a good reason for me to stay," A beat of silence went by before he finished, "and probably meet your totally neurotic family."

Regina laughed, like a genuine laugh. He had such a way of making her feel good, worth so much and Mills was grateful for it.

"Now that information is better received with a few drinks." She confessed. Talking about her family, well Zelena and Cora, made her want to be drunk.

"I'll make sure to have whiskey on hand." Robin shot back.

"Whiskey, nice." Regina yawned, carrying over the line.

"Looks like you are finally ready for bed." He observed, and yeah, she was finally tired enough. "I'll let you sleep. See you tomorrow?" The reluctant tone he took made Regina smile a bit.

"Yes, you will. Goodnight, Robin."

"Goodnight, Regina."

|xXx|

When she crossed the double doors leading to the inside of the restaurant Regina was greeted by a very angry Robin. He tapped at the counter with his pen, phone attached to his ear. The man looked like he was about to sever someone's head off. Regina carefully approached the counter, easing her lips into a tight smile. Robin placed a hand over the speaker and gave her a short nod with a tight smile. "I'll be with you in a moment." Regina simply nodded, looking around the restaurant for an empty table, she debated going to the bar area and maybe get something to drink since Robin didn't seem in a good mood.

"He reserved a table for you." A female voice spoke. Regina turned to see Belle, as radiant as the day she met her. Mills smiled, a soft hi leaving her lips. The younger woman walked around the counter and lead the way to the table Robin had picked out for her. It was near the window, and it had a beautiful view of the restaurant. She is more mesmerized than the very first time she walked inside, somehow this place became more magical. "Can I get you something to drink?" Belle asked. Regina nodded, "A ginger ale." The younger woman left, leaving Regina to her devices.

Regina sat down and began playing with the emerald ring on her right hand. It was a gift from her father, from a very long time ago when being in too much pain was only an illness describe on a piece of paper. She remembers the very first time she saw it, Regina fell in love with it. The ring reminded her of a fairy tale her father used to tell her, of love and happiness, on she no longer has an interest in. But the ring has such a sentimental value, reminds Mills that her father just wants her happy. Now, that same ring is being twisted on her slender finger as she waits for Robin to return.

"Here you go." Belle placed the ginger ale on the table and smiled. "Robin won't be long."

"Thanks." Was all Regina said. Belle left once more and she began sipping at her drink.

The purpose of this meeting is to get to know each other better and inform Robin what to expect from her family but after their conversation the previous night and how open Regina was with him, she is starting to believe that maybe Mills had scared him away. Which would make her truly sad seeing as she actually likes and feels safe around him, "Pull yourself together." The brunette told herself, trying to find some sort of composure. This over-thinking mind of hers tends to get the best of her.

"Pardon me?" Robin's voice broke through the veil of her thoughts, Regina stiffened.

"No, nothing." She waved off, shaking her head in the process. Robin's shoulders slumped, freeing a soft sigh. He sat down across from her, smiling a tad apologetic. "Sorry about that." Regina could see that Robin was actually mortified about their meeting a few minutes ago, for a moment she truly believed that he didn't want her here even though it was his idea.

"Every time I travel some creep comes by to pester my sister." Oh, that explains his mood when she first entered the restaurant. "Apparently there's some powerful company going around buying buildings from this street to open a big store. And since they can't convince me to sell, they are always bothering Belle." Regina 'ohh' softly, slightly relieved that he wasn't put out by their conversation from last night, but she quickly feels bad thinking about her self-preservation when he was genuinely upset.

"I'm guessing the person that keeps coming around is an attorney." Serene, Regina comments. Her previous employer had sent her from time to time to places just to intimidate small business owners that were barely scraping by with their business. She never really liked such a tactic, it always tugged at her heartstring to see these people, that work hard to get by, being stripped of their belongings even if there was a good compensation. Most of the people she met, like the hard work and not the money they got from it. It was one of the reasons why that job began to pester her so much. Such tactic was unbecoming and unprofessional but it gave results to her employer. If something ain't broken. "Which means that, most likely, his employer is ready to go to a lot of lengths to obtain this establishment." But even if she isn't practicing law anymore, old habits die hard, and her attorney side decided to go out and stretch its legs. Robin stared at her and Regina's cheeks turned crimson, "What?" she asked, Robin, shook his head.

"Nothing just..." He bites his lower lip, debating whether or not he should speak his next words. When Regina's brows creased together the man laughed nervously, "...just that it's sexy when you talk like that. Not that you need to be covered in professionalism to be sexy, that comes naturally to you." This time it was his cheeks turn to turn red, while her own traveled from her face to her neck.

Regina cleared her throat, "Yes well as an attorney I can give you free counsel." She tried to play it cool, trying to not show how much Robin's words had actually affected her but she isn't sure she is doing a good job. The man across from her gave Regina a dimpled grin and shit that did things to her.

"Free?" He rose a brow, biting his lip in a grin and Regina felt her heart picked up the pace. "I don't think anything is free in this life, maybe the feeling we get when we are doing something that we like or are in presence of someone we like." His eyes locked with her, his gaze intense and consuming, Regina wasn't sure if she was breathing or not.

"Meaning?" She managed to get out, gulping afterward when he tilted his head to the side.

"Meaning that I would like to take you out on a date."

Oh.

"As payment for free counsel?" She asked, mirroring the way he tilted his head. Robin chuckled a low rumble that made her stomach somersault.

"As two friends getting to know one another." He answered, smiling a bit as he did.

Regina couldn't lie to herself, the prospect of a date was well and all but that pesky word friend sort of killed any hope that she might have with him. Still, it was a nice change of pace, and honestly, she hasn't been on a date for a long time now. Her work and loneliness didn't allow her such a luxury but now, seeing as she isn't attached to neither of them, Regina didn't hesitate on saying, "I accept." Smiling at him in the process. Even if that mean there's nothing more than just a friendship between them, Regina would take what she can. After all, it was thanks to him that she managed to find the courage to leave all the pain behind and move forward.

"Really?" Robin asked, kind of shocked that she accepted it. Regina found it rather endearing.

"Yes, really."

"How about tonight at eight?"

"Wow, tonight?" She asked, sucking her lower lip.

"Yeah, I don't want to give you time to change your mind." He laughed rather nervously and Regina found it quite adorable.

"Okay, well tonight it is."

Maybe he is as excited as she is. No, not maybe, he actually is. Regina could see in his bright blue eyes, they sparkled with happiness and something else entirely that she couldn't quite describe, or rather she didn't want to just in case she is seeing things where they aren't. Nevertheless, she is happy, excited for tonight and shit she needs to find something suitable to wear. Maybe it was the perfect time to make a retreat. Even if he is in a better mood now than when she first walked into the restaurant, he was somewhat distracted by the situation with the restaurant and whoever is trying to buy it. "Hey, I should go..." She said, and the disappointment in his face made her heart ache. "But I'll see you tonight." That made him perk up, "Oh before I forget, send me the name of the attorney coming around here. Maybe I can help you a bit with that if you don't mind."

His eyes widen, "I wouldn't like to impose, I mean this is something I should fix myself."

"You wouldn't be imposing, Robin. Besides, you are going to a wedding with me that might as well be the entrance to hell. The least I can do is help you with this if I can." She smiled. Regina risked reaching for his hand, squeezing it softly. "You don't have to go through this alone." His eyes drifted to their joined hands but she didn't pull away even if the instinct to do so was there clear as day. When he didn't pull away himself, and instead placed his other one on top of hers, Regina breathed out a short sigh of relief.

"Thank you." Robin squeezed her hand in return. Regina nodded.

"Is my pleasure." The brunette licked her lips. She should just take her hand back and leave but she couldn't. Robin's hands were so warm and callous. They emitted safety and joy and it was impossible to simply tear herself away from something she hadn't felt in such a long time. Plus, Robin wasn't moving an inch either.

So for a long while, they stayed like that, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

 


	11. Chapter 11

With each word your tenderness grows

Tearing my fear apart

And that laugh, that wrinkles your nose

It touches my foolish heart

-Tony Bennett (The way you look tonight.)

|xXx|

_November 25, 2010_

_There are moments that can define life itself. Whether is going right instead of left or simply meeting the right person at the right time. We never know what is going to happen next, what we do know is that no matter what comes, storm or the sun, you are strong to stand your ground like a tree and be an unmovable force of nature while the gust passes by or move forward under the scalding sun your survival intact._

_As human beings, we are stronger than we actually believe, but we have allowed other people to minimize that power. I'm telling you to know, because I've learned that lesson the hard way, don't allow those people to shut you down. Be free, love, explore, create and prove to them that you are exactly who you need to be, that you no longer need to prove your self-worth just because one miserable person doesn't like what they see in you._

_Remember, life will always bring you sorrow, sadness, and pain but it will also bring you life, happiness, and light. It is up to you to make the choice that will lead you to all that good you are craving with your very soul. All you need to do is stand up and chose..._

_Left or Right?_

_Sadness or Happiness?_

_Other people's opinion or your very own?_

_We have tough choices to make and sometimes it is a simple one but we won't always see it like that. We create a storm in a glass of water and we think 'Okay this is messy what now?' What we don't realize is that we didn't create a storm we are the storm. Messy, wild, strong, dedicated, sometimes destructive (because lets face it, we auto-sabotage ourselves from time to time) but we are also creating a path. A path that once we stop our Tasmania run, we will be able to see which way we should go._

_Left or Right?_

_The choice is yours._

_Forever me,_

_Robin._

|xXx|

This was completely insane.

Here she was, emptying her closet looking for something decent to wear for tonight. Regina had always been a classy dresser but lately, thanks to her traveling around the world, her dressing up skills have been reduced to jeans, khakis, and tank tops, oh and also the occasional long sleeve shirt and leather jacket. But dresses? She hasn't dressed like that for the last two months and now, everything she owns seemed too foreign for the brunette.

She had never asked another person for clothing advice. Ever since she was a little girl her mother had, sort of instill in her a sense of style but desperate times call for desperate measures and she had been forced to call in Mal for a little girl session.

When her blonde friends first heard her request, she laughed. But when Regina explained the situation she couldn't help snickering over the phone and say: "Regina Mills, doesn't know how to dress? Now that's something you don't hear every day. Robin is a lucky guy. I'll be there in a bit." Regina had rolled her eyes but said thanks and threw her phone somewhere on the bed with all her clothes. How was it so hard to find something suitable to wear? Wait, she didn't even know where they were going for their date tonight, so how the hell she is supposed to know what to wear? Should she be casual? Or fancy? Ugh, it was a drag for the brunette. With a groan, she crawled back into bed searching for her cell phone. She dialed Robin's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" He questioned and Regina felt her heart skip.

Well shit.

Regina cleared her throat, "Yes hi. I got a question."

"Shoot."

The brunette lay down on the bed, on top of her clothes and sighed. "I forgot to ask, where are we going on this date? I need to know so I can dress accordingly. The last thing I need is to be a sour note."

Robin chuckled over the phone and her stomach danced. It was such a beautiful melody to hear him laugh, like piano music in the dawn. "It is a surprise." Regina groaned, and he just laughed again. "Wear whatever you like, as long as you're happy and there, that's all that matters." And of course, he wasn't about to make this easy for her. Regina shut her eyes closed, rolling onto her chest on the bed. She felt something poked at her side, probably one of the hangars but she ignored the prickly feeling for the time being.

"I must warn you, Robin I hate surprises." She had never been a fan of them. Probably because of her upbringing, Cora and Zelena's surprises always ended badly. "I have a very bad track record with them."

Robin didn't even hesitate, "That's more the reason to surprise you then. Not all should be bad experiences. I'm gonna try my best so you have a good time, I promise."

Regina had to snort a laugh to his rather positive attitude but it shouldn't as a surprise to her. But he certainly didn't know her well enough, she had a bad karma. Horrible things always tend to happen to her and she doesn't want to taint Robin with that. She likes him too much to allow such a thing. "Are you sure? Because I don't want this date to go badly. I'm actually looking forward to it." Regina flushed red at the admittance. She hasn't gone on a date in years, and sex with Graham doesn't actually qualify as a date. It was more of a way to satisfy her libido. Her sex life deserved that merit, she couldn't say the same for her love life. It made this date with Robin so surreal and scary and exciting all at the same time. Regina was feeling the entire animal kingdom in the pit of her stomach. His effect on her was outstanding.

"I'm positive Regina. You trusted me enough to get out of LA to travel and that was just by reading what I wrote. Trust me now in this, please? I promise you won't be disappointed and this surprise isn't going to be bad."

She hated that he was right. Regina hated the fact that her heart betrayed her mind in agreeing with him on that. The level of trust she felt for Robin wasn't normal, especially for two people that barely knew each other but here she was agreeing with a soft 'okay'. How did they end up in such a situation? No, the better question is, why wasn't she afraid? It was normal to feel fear for her, instead, she is feeling a thrill that could only be described as true excitement. She probably needs to think about it in depth after they hang up. Maybe she hasn't psych herself up enough. Talking to Mal in a bit will do just the trick.

"Good." He replied over the phone, bringing Regina back to earth. "Just relax. Remember we are just two people trying to get to know one another. Don't psych yourself out."

Oh, it was like he was reading her mind.

"Besides there's going to be plenty of booze to go around." They both laughed at the same time, some knots easing their way out of her. "Surprises aren't always bad. I'll show you that. Okay?"

By the time he finished speaking the nerves in her had abated, though there was still a splinter prodding at her side, she managed to accept this. She can trust him enough to not allow a simple surprise to ruin their night. "I'm warning you, Robin. If things go badly I'm keeping the alcohol."

"Deal. But I'm pretty confident it won't come to that. I'll pick you up ten minutes before eating so we can make it in time."

To that, she frowned. Wherever they were going must be near if he only needs ten minutes. Regina was going to say something about it when the knock on they door grabbed her attention. She jumped from the bed and headed to the front door which she unlocked revealing Mal, holding a few dresses. Regina gave way for her to go in and smiled. "I'll be waiting." She spoke into the phone before adding, "I'll see you tonight, Robin."

"Counting the hours."

Regina snorted. "Cheesy."

"You liked it." He countered and well he had a point.

"Still cheesy."

"Only for you."

Oh, oh, oh.

He cheeks felt hot, they probably looked like tomatoes. "See you tonight."

"See you then."

Regina hung up and took a really deep breath. She had forgotten for a moment that Mal was there so when she said: "Look who's blushing."

The brunette almost jumped from her own skin, a hand landing quickly on her chest. "Jesus Christ, Malorie Von Brandt, you almost killed me."

Mal laughed, "Jesus Christ and murder in the same sentence seems like a little too much." And Regina rolled her eyes walked right past the blonde. She settled the phone down on the coffee table and turned again to the blonde who was smirking at her.

"What?"

"Your face is still red," Malorie commented still wearing her smirk. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you're smitten."

Understatement of the year but she doesn't need to know that and Regina cannot admit that out loud.

"No such thing." Regina brushed it off like it was nothing but the truth was her friend was right and it finally dawned on her, and so did the fear and the doubts and everything in between. It has been such a long time since she genuinely liked someone that she really didn't know how to act or how to feel.

It was strange.

Things with Robin weren't normal and that in itself gave her a peace she didn't even think possible, but still, she was afraid things wouldn't go well. They never did for Regina. After all, he still called her a friend. Though going back to their conversation a few moments ago, he traded the word friend to 'two people getting to know each other'. That was progress, right? Seeing is believing she guess.

"Regina for how long are you going to keep denying this?" Malorie said and Regina lifted her gaze to look into the blonde's eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." The older woman sat on the couch, arms crossed. It was her way to invite Regina to join her on the couch as well. "You like him, and he likes you. And before you say that it is probably just as friends let me tell you a little secret, it isn't just in the friend's department." Regina just sort of fell on the couch, looking at Mal strangely.

"What makes you say that?" Did Robin actually tell Malorie something about her? And why is she acting like a silly school girl?

"He doesn't need to." Mal simply shrugged and added, "I know him well enough to deduce it. I've seen Robin in love before or falling in love and he is gushing out attraction and honestly? Love for you."

Regina shifted where she sat feeling a tad out of comfort with this conversation. It was the first time that they two women talked about Regina's love life. Actually, scratch that it wasn't but back then there weren't feelings involved. Graham, it was always about Graham and the lack of emotions for him. Even a blind person could see it and all was immediately over when he actually proposed to Regina. She couldn't marry him, not when her heart still ached for Daniel. Love wasn't in the cards for her and Graham and he accepted (well after strongly telling her all he thought of her and they all weren't pretty words). But it was clear, Regina tends for relationships.

"Love is a big word." She couldn't fathom, for the life of her, that those words were true. They barely were friends, jumping to love is quite the preposterous act. No matter how hard her heart seem to beat whenever his name was mention or the way the hairs on the back of her neck stood up whenever Regina heard him speak. It was probably the excitement of talking to a new friend. (She is just fooling herself, really she knows what she feels even if she doesn't feel like voicing it. It would only make it more real and make the poor lady prone to disappointment.)

"Think whatever you want I know what I see and I know the name as well. You two are probably gonna end up together and I'll say 'I told you so' in the end." Mal quickly stood up, not giving Regina any chance whatsoever to process the words the blonde had spoken. "Now lets pick an outfit so you can go back to dreamily sighing about Robin and I can go back to work. Leopold is being a bigger ass than usual." The brunette stood up, brows furrowing.

"What is he up to now?" Regina inquired as she moved from the living room to the bedroom. As much as she would like to pick the blonde's brain about Robin, the irritation in her voice while speaking to her boss left a lot to say. It was a complete mess but honestly, she didn't care at the moment. She was more interested in what Malorie had to say about her creepy boss. For Regina, that man will always be creepy.

Mal cleared a space on the bed for her to sit down, a sigh leaving her lips the moment she did. "He's helping Midas to clear a neighborhood so he can open one of his chain stores. Leo is sending all of us, well almost all of us to intimidate the owners. Of course, I'm not partaking in that. He knows well how much I hate it. What it is strange is that he didn't make a fuss about it like he usually does." Regina looked at Mal like she grown a second head. What she was saying sounded so familiar, Robin and she were just talking about it a few moments ago and that is when it hit her.

Robin.

It was in Robin's neighborhood. She wasn't entirely sure about it, but it made sense.

They wanted to take his livelihood away from him. It didn't quite surprise her that Leo was involved in such a thing, and it also didn't surprise her that he wasn't insisting Mal on doing that job which only meant one thing, Blanchard knew Mal and Robin were friends, hence why he wasn't putting pressure on her.

"I think I know why." Regina chews on her lower lip, the gears in her head turning quickly, maybe there's something she could do for Robin after all. She was still waiting for him to give her the name of the company but she got something even better, she knows the buffet that's representing Midas and she knows all their tactics.

"Robin is one of the restaurant owners in that particular district. It wouldn't surprise me if Leo knew you two are friends." Not at all. She still remembers how a few years ago Regina got called into Leo's office because he wanted to talk about Graham. The man she bedded all those years ago created a security company from scratch and Leo was interested in it and because her former boss always got what he wanted, he asked her to use her persuasion and relationship over Graham to convince him to sell. How the hell Leo knew about her and Graham? She doesn't know but Regina wouldn't put it past the man to place a private investigator on each and every one of his employees.

When Malorie looked up at Regina it was with anger in her eyes. Not towards the brunette, but to her boss and Midas. It was clear to the brunette that Mal would blow up. "What?" The blonde stood up from her space on the bed, hands on her hips quickly. "That son of a bitch."

And well, hearing her curse was not a good sign.

"You are telling me that Robin might lose his restaurant, the place he worked so hard to create because some greedy bastard wants to open another unnecessary store?" Regina was only able to nod as she heard the blonde's inquiry. There were no words to be said, not on this particular topic. It was pretty clear that Mal was pissed. Though she sees this all the time, it hit hard when it was happening to a close friend. "What did Robin tell you about it?"

Regina managed to shake her head, clearing her thoughts in the process so she could speak the limited information she had about Robin's situation. She only she heard of it a few hours ago, so there wasn't much to say. "He simply said that some lawyer always tends to go through the restaurant whenever he is traveling. The guy is always pestering Belle to see if she would cave and get him information about the economics of the place. But Bell is quite intelligent to not say anything." Regina shrugged, adding something else. "But it is only a matter of time until Blanchard and Midas chose another tactic." Malorie only nodded at the implication of Regina's words. They both knew what other tactics they were going to use. If it came to that Regina was honestly a bit worried about Robin. Leopold Blanchard and Alexander Midas were notorious in the business world. Both families were tied together not only because of their many contracts and many businesses but also because Midas daughter had become the head of Blanchard's legal department.

It was safe to say Malorie and Kathryn didn't quite get along. Both blondes tend to clash from time to time and even Regina had problems with the Midas spawn. The brunette did try to steer clear of her but there were moments there the inevitable happened and she always ended up calling daddy to clean up her messes. It was annoying really, and even more so when Blanchard had subtly asked Kathryn to seduce Graham when Regina didn't agree on using her 'relationship' with Graham to get that sale. The stupid blonde had agreed to it and now those two are a thing, well that was the last thing she heard.

"Robin adores that restaurant." Mal sat back down sighing in the process. "He made so many sacrifices for it and I don't want to see him lose it. But I can't do much for him." The blonde's tone shifted from red hot anger to deep blue sadness. Regina felt bad, not only for Robin but for the blonde as well. Mal was a dedicated friend, always there supporting and encouraging. She hates feeling helpless and Regina knows that at this very moment she does feel that way. The brunette sat beside the other woman, biting on her lip.

"I can." And those two simple words caused the blonde to look at Regina with a raised brow.

"You can?" Regina nodded. "What happened to not wanting to have anything to do with law?"

Regina's eyes drifted to her lap, hands clasped together on top of it. It is true that one of the things she wanted to let go was that job that was sucking her soul. She never wanted to be an attorney but that path was chosen for her the moment she was conceived, still, it didn't mean she wasn't good at it. Not in vain she was nicknamed the Evil Queen. She had an ability to exploit the littlest of details to gain her a win. Regina has always been good in picking her cases, her gut instinct also played a key role in all. And right now her gut (honestly it was her heart) was telling her that she should help out Robin. After all, it was the least she could do, he had already opened up a world of possibilities for her. "I can't just stand by and watch injustice take its toll." Regina finally spoke, her eyes still on her hands, "Robin is a good man, he doesn't deserve to be stripped of all his things just because one man wants a new toy to play with."

Malorie shook her head, taking Regina's hand. "Lets not talk about this now." The brunette looked at her weirdly. "Lets just get you that dress you are going to wear tonight and I'll go back to work and get a bit of info on what exactly those two are planning. For now, you have a date to think about."

As much as she would like to get on with her day so she could see Robin, Regina knew the dangers of what Malorie wanted to do. "Mal you know you can get into trouble for that, right?"

The blonde snorted a laugh. "Sure I do. But I also am planning to quit so there's no much thinking to do about it."

"You are gonna quit?" Well, didn't see that one coming.

"Yes. After you finally took that step, I've been debating on doing the same. I have a hefty list of client, I can open my own buffet."

Regina still kept looking at her strangely. Yes, she understood, but there was something still there, behind her words. The consequences of leaving Blanchard high and dry. "If You take those clients, you will be taking away half of the Blanchard business. Not only that, you'll be taking with you some of the other attorneys. Most of them are still there because of you." Regina was one of those attorneys that only was there because of her friend. Not everyone took it in kind when Leo decided to appoint Kathryn as head of the firm. Everyone was expecting Mal to take that position. It wasn't like the Midas daughter wasn't good at her job, she was scary in the courtroom but she was also a self-centered bitch that didn't respect anyone. Malorie is a bitch, everyone knows that but she is a bitch with a heart, which is more than she can say for the other blonde that just loves destroying other people's life.

"So?" Was all Mal said and Regina couldn't believe the calmness she was shrouded in. When the bomb blows up it is going to be nasty, good thing she got nothing to do with that anymore.

Regina rose from the bed, taking a few steps to the closet door with a shake of her head. "You are insane Malorie." She turned, crossing her arms. "But this is such a good tactic." When the blonde scrunched her brows, Regina snickered. "I mean when you do that, quit and leave Blanchard dangling to the sharks, the whole Midas things is probably going to halt for a moment. Enough for me to build a case against Midas."

Her friend couldn't get up from the bed faster. "Are you insane?" Regina walked towards the bed and grabbed a red dress. That one was perfect, that was the one she will wear for her date. "Regina, don't ignore me." With a groan, she turned to the blonde bouncing her head.

"What?"

"I'm all up for helping Robin keep his restaurant but going against Midas is a suicide mission. You are better off constantly saying not to the attorneys that visit Robin."

Regina was aware of Mal's point. She was right, as always. But that didn't mean that Regina didn't know her way around a good swindle. Everyone had a weakness, and it was up to Regina to find Midas' and exploit it. "I can do it." Regina said confidently. "He just needs a place to construct, why not give him an alternative." In that moment, a lightbulb turned on in her brain. "And I know the perfect place for him to dig up. Does Leopold still has his eyes on the terrain up north, the one that used to belong to Graham?"

The blonde began thinking long and hard but nodded when she realized that yes, he still had. "So your plan is, to pit them against each other?"

"Exactly."

Mal wasn't at all convinced and wasn't afraid to express it so. "That's still insane."

"I know but options here at limited."

Malorie walked to Regina and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Don't be stupid. Remember what happened the last time you and Leopold had an argument."

The thought alone had the brunette shuddering. Regina's and his ideals were never on the same page and after refusing to partake in one particular case about a school, the man was hellbent on destroying her reputation. No, he never fired her but he didn't make her job any easier. That and the fact that he was also hitting on her. That man was creepy but her mother was creepier. She actually told Regina she should consider Leopold as husband all because of his name and his money. That woman really didn't care for what Regina felt.

"I don't care. All I care about is Robin."

And well shit.

That wasn't supposed to come out the way it did. With emotion, and honest to true worry. She is really losing her heart to him, the worse part? She actually didn't care.

"Just be careful, okay? You and Robin are my friends, almost like family and I don't want anything bad happening to the both of you, alright?" When Regina simply nodded, Mal pulled her into a tight embrace. "As long as we are clear. Don't do anything stupid without at least running it by me. I know you are more than capable of taking care of this yourself but I just need to make sure you aren't going to risk yourself in order to help Robin. You tend to go above and beyond without taking care of yourself first."

It will always touch her to see how much Malorie cared for her. In her life, there are only a handful of people that Regina knows that truly care for her, her father, Mal and (hopefully) Robin and for them, she will be forever grateful. She doesn't need anymore else as long as those three are always there for her. Her heart swells with love, and Regina cannot help pulling Mal back into a tighter embrace that left her eyes watery and her heart beating wildly. "Thanks for everything, really, thank you." Malorie took a deep breath and nodded.

"Anytime, you stubborn, foolish woman. I'm always going to be here for you." Mal pulled back taking a deep breath. "Now, that you have decided what to wear. I think it is time for me to leave. Have fun tonight."

Yes, tonight.

Her date.

Robin.

"Thanks, I'll intend to."

|xXx|

The hours, minutes and seconds went by and her stomach felt more coiled up. Regina cannot remember, for the life of her, when was the last time she had been this nervous for a date. Is not like she had been on a lot of those in the past few years, again, Graham doesn't count. Going back to her life as she finished the final touches on her makeup, Regina realized that Daniel was the first and the last man she had truly felt nervous about going out with and well now Robin.

Both men were so different in so many aspects but they did have something in common that makes Regina feel so warm and fuzzy inside, they both had beautiful hearts. And to that, she is truly attracted to. Man, that aren't afraid of showing their most sensitive side. That didn't fear speaking up and to say what they had on their minds, man that aren't afraid of her. On that particular aspect, Daniel and Robin were the same. But that as far comparisons go.

Regina put on her favorite red lipstick, and then ruffled her hair. She opted by going with her natural curls all free and wild like she honestly been feeling for the last two months. She would have gone against it before her life turned into an adventure, her mother always tried to managed her unruly curls because it wasn't 'Sophisticated enough' but now she doesn't give a flying tuck what Cora thinks. One because she wasn't here to criticize her (even though her voice is whispering at the brunette on the back of her head) and two because she noticed how Robin stared at her hair back in Sicily. When they were sitting on the beach talking, and he couldn't quite stop staring. And how disappointed he looked when by dinner time, she had blow dried her hair. So for tonight, she'll give him something to stare at, other the obvious cleavage she was showing thanks to her red dress.

The brunette heard her phone chirped, and from her lips, a smile bloomed.

It was Robin.

"I'm here. Would you buzz me up?" Robin sent her a text and she chuckled.

"Alright." She replied back and looked at the time. he was earlier than he had said but honestly didn't mind it.

The brunette headed to the front door where she hit the button that would allow Robin to come into the building and just waited for him to knock on her door. She really did feel stupid waiting by the door like a puppy but she just didn't want to waste more time. Tonight did promise to be a good one.

The moment she heard the knock on the door, her heart stopped completely. Hands fidgeted for a split second before placing it on the knob, twisting and pulling it open.

There he was, looking as handsome as ever. A forest green button down shirt, beige slacks with a dark brown belt and shoes to match it. His hair was comb to the side and his dimples made an appearance as he smiled. He looked so different from the other times she had seen him. Always so casual and free spirited. Now? Now he looked like a model ripped out of a magazine. "Good evening." He greeted her, lips curling from smile to amazement the moment he got a better look at her. Regina had decided on a deep v-neck dress that almost reached her knees, with an ample view of her cleavage. Plus her natural curls and minimal makeup with a deep crimson lip color, he wasn't sure where exactly he should be looking.

"Good evening." She greeted back, wearing a smile and deep red cheeks as well. With Robin's eyes on her, she feels a bit exposed, raw but he didn't give her a bad feeling. On the contrary, Regina felt like he was memorizing every aspect, every curve, and movement from her body.

"You look radiant, absolutely stunning."

And if she was blushing before that now she is red as a child's crayon. "Thank you. You clean up quite nicely yourself." Robin then chuckled at that, "I do try." Was his answer as he offered her a hand.

"Shall we?" The brunette grinned, nodding grabbing her things from the little table by the door and then accepting his hand. It was warm and callous and sent peace flowing through her veins. Regina had dared to imagine how his touch would feel like, had dreamt about things she shouldn't but this was so much more than her imagination could conjure up. She knew that Robin had something about him that could give her a sense of peace, his words were concrete prove of that but what she could have never imagined that a simple action like holding her hand would actually make her nerves disappear, forever. And she finds herself never wanting to let go which betrays her mind.

There's a part of Regina begging to please keep her feet on the solid ground, and not allow her heart to take the reigns of her life. Nothing good could come from making herself believe that she actually has a chance with Robin. But then there's her heart telling, almost demanding the brunette to not be afraid, to go for it because life is for those who take risks, who take chances that are at arm's length. She will never know how truly good something can be until you take a chance on it, and her heart telling to give Robin this chance, that he deserves but most importantly, that she deserves happiness.

For a long time, she hasn't felt that way and it is so scary how much she wants this.

"Lead the way." It wasn't something easy for the brunette to allow someone else to be in control but with the smile that was covering Robin's lips, Regina found hard to not trust him. She may not like surprises but for the first time, she is willing to give it a go and allow someone else do something for her. New territory, yes, but it wasn't scary. On the contrary, Regina was welcoming this new feeling that emerged in her heart thanks to Robin.

"You don't seem like the type that follows." Robin rose his brow in her direction as he took careful steps back until his back was meeting the wall in the hallway. Regina couldn't help the tiny giggle (since when does she giggle?) that left her lips as she closed the door behind her.

"You are right." She muttered, tilting her head to the side. Regina is grateful for the millionth time that day that Robin actually knows her enough to deduce this, even if they haven't really talked about their lives, their likes, and dislikes. He just took one look at her and knew. It was cute if she was being honest. "But for tonight, where you lead I will follow."

At that Robin chuckled, shaking his head and Regina scrunched hs brows together. "So it seems you are a Gilmore Girls fan as well."

Biting her lip trying to suppress a grin, Regina nodded. "Well, It is only the greatest show ever." Then she sighed softly, already moving towards the elevator, Robin walking right beside her. "You know, I used to wish that my mother and I had the same type of relationship as Rory and Lorelai but we were so far off gone that I stopped dreaming those foolish notions." It was Robin who pressed the button with the arrow down as the brunette continued talking, "Funny thing is Zelena and mother have that relationship in their own twisted way." With that said, Regina shrugged, not wanting to keep talking about it. Why taint a promising evening with her deranged family?

"But you have that with your father." And Robin's words made her do a double take. One because it broke through the veil of dark thoughts that usually surround her family and second because he was right. Robin had seen first hand the type of relationship she had with her father. For a long time, he was the only person in her life that always made her feel like she wasn't as a waste of air and space, Henry Mills always been her guiding light and no matter how far away he is at the very moment, she can't count on him.

"That's true," Regina replied with a little smile, stepping into the lift the moment the door opened, Robin trailing behind. "He has always been there, even when I pushed him away." She has always been so trapped within herself that Regina never really realized that her father had been making an effort to keep her breathing, to pull her out of the murky waters of her own mind. She truly owns that man everything she is, for not abandoning Regina in her darkest moment, unlike Zelena and Cora.

Robin hit the lobby button. There was silence hanging between them but it wasn't uncomfortable, on the contrary, there was peace in it. Oddly enough she, not once, has felt out of place when with Robin.

When the lift stopped, and the doors opened, Robin offered Regina his hand again and she gladly took it. "You know when I met your father I thought there was a reason, okay so there's always a reason for everything, but with him, it was something really strong pulling me in. And the day I met you I knew the reason, it was you."

Regina felt her cheeks go red with warmth and her heart beat a tad faster. And to make matter worse (not really) his smile just made the world stop for a moment. They say everything happens for a reason just like Robin stated, and for the first time, she is truly starting to believe that. It was like finally understand a love song for the very first time, or not feeling lost in the ocean of people that is the world. For the first time, Regina feels like she is where she belongs. In the presence of the man that is saving her soul. "You don't regret meeting me?" That question left her lips faster than she could even analyze it.

Force of habit she supposes, but she actually regrets it uttering those words. Robin's frown was enough to deduce that it was a stupid question, to begin with.

"Not at all." He replied not missing a beat. "On the contrary, I'm happy that I've met you. My life has changed for the better."

Her hand tightening around his was an involuntary act but it was inevitable. Regina felt happy hearing those words. "You have no idea how much that means to me." She laughed airly, feeling emotion swell, her eyes getting misty thanks to the tears that wanted to fall down.

Really Regina keep it together. The date is barely starting to ruin it with tears. The brunette took a very deep breath, casting away the tears at bay and smiled. "Thanks, Robin."

"Nothing to thank me for. I'm just being honest."

"Still..." She tried to speak but Robin just leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"I mean it."

The brunette bite her lip on a grin, nodding. Tonight promised to be a great night. With their fingers laced together, Robin and Regina headed out the building being hugged by the cold air of the night but she didn't even acknowledge the cold, not when Robin decided to put his arm around her, his warmth covering her skin immediately.

|XxX|

They drove for a good ten minutes until they arrived at their destination, his restaurant. Robin killed the engine and turned to Regina, smiling in the process. "It occurs to me that I never got to cook for you today and I felt bad so..." He took his seatbelt off, "I thought it was good opportunity to do it tonight."

It was a nice gesture from his part and Regina had to add it to the list of things Robin of Locksley had managed to make her swoon with. It was so unbelievable that someone could be so thoughtful. It wasn't normal, then again Robin wasn't normal. "That's so sweet." She expressed, taking off her seatbelt. "What about your clients?" And at that, he smirked.

"The restaurant is close for the night."

Regina gawked at him, like fully on gawked like he had grown a second head. He actually closed his restaurant for her, for a date with her. She just couldn't process it well and she is pretty sure her face is transmitting the astonishment she was feeling inside. "Y-you closed the restaurant for me?" When he simply nodded his answer Regina sobered up. "Robin you shouldn't have."

"Nonsense. I wanted to give you my undivided attention." Regina's face was almost comical and Robin had to suppress his laughter even more. "Besides, everyone was more than thrilled to have a free night."

Okay, that makes sense, still for him to do something like that for her, especially with the legal problems he is about to go in because he doesn't want to sell, well one would think he would put his restaurant, his livelihood before a woman, a woman he practically just met.

Robin rose her hand to place a kiss on top of it before getting off the car and walking around it to open the door. Regina was partially shocked when she got out the car, speechless, that is what he made her.

"Regina?" He called her name, taking her hand. He couldn't go two seconds without grabbing her hand and it was sweet, it also brought her back to reality.

"Sorry, still processing you close for the night for me." And he oh softly.

"I take it that you aren't used to people putting you first?"

And he sticks the landing.

Regina's gaze shifted to Robin quickly, the answer in her dark eyes. She didn't even have to give the man a verbal confirmation, he just knew just by looking into her eyes.

She felt truly exposed to his gaze, it was loaded with many unspoken words that he just wants to say but can't find a way to do so. He wasn't shy, like at all, but he had tact and Regina truly appreciated that. There's so much she could handle at the moment and she just wants to get through this without turning into a complete basket case.

"I promised you a good time and I intend to keep that promise."

Thank God he decided to shift the topic into something more neutral because her mind always played wicked games with her and honestly she doesn't want to ruin the surprise Robin has for her. Though thinking about it now, his surprise was most likely this, closing off the restaurant to show her a good time. And why is she overthinking this? It was a good thing. Someone putting her first was something she hasn't had in a long time, not since Daniel and well her father but that one was a given. Robin is trying his best to show her something (what, Regina doesn't know, she doesn't want to dare to think that what Mal said was right and that he actually wants something more than just friends.) It is scary how much she wants this to be true but she is even more scared of how things might just end up badly and shit.

Regina why are you psyching yourself out now.

"Robin Locksley?" Someone called out his name and Regina cannot help looking up at the familiar voice.

"That's me. Can I help you with something?" Robin spoke up without letting go of her hand. Regina looked at the other woman and frowned. Out of all the people in the world it had to be her, Kathryn.

"I'm Kathryn Midas." Regina rolled her eyes. "I'm here about your restaurant."

Robin was the one to frown this time. "What about it?"

It seems like the blonde didn't even acknowledge Regina's presence because not once did she spare a glance at her. She simply stood closer to Robin, the door the only thing keep them apart. "I have a client that would like to buy. But I wasn't told the owner was so handsome."

At that Regina gritted her teeth, and help Robin's hand tighter. Robin took notice on how Regina was acting right off the bat and tried not to snicker. She was jealous.

"I already expressed my thoughts on this. I'm not selling."

The blonde chuckled. A sound that rubbed Regina the wrong way. "I'm sure you and I can talk about this over dinner. I hear you are quite the cook."

And no, that was it.

"Excuse me, Kathryn."Regina's voice was dangerously low, a dark expression all over her face. Regina was livid and getting worse as the seconds ticked by. "He said he is not interested."

"To dinner or selling." Kathryn finally looked at her with a smirk.

"Both." Robin answered, and Regina had to suppress a smirk herself. But this was Kathryn, she loved a challenge and Regina couldn't lower her guard.

"Tsk-Tsk. Your lose. I can show you a much better time than Regina here." To that Robin frowned again. The familiarity between the two woman news to him. "Graham certainly seems to agree."

That was the last straw, Regina let go of Robin's hand and walked to stand face to face to the blonde. They never got along and now that she was openly firing at Regina she couldn't stay quiet, especially now that she isn't going to lose her job thanks to that. "Listen well, bottle blonde." Regina's voice was all dark and regal, it wasn't in vein she was called Evil Queen. "Harassment would look bad for you. I mean, I could go to a judge and say that you are harassing someone into selling. Now how would that look for the Midas family?"

The blonde gave her a bored expression. "Lighten up, Regina. I'm just doing my job. Here..." She took an envelope from her purse and passed it to Robin. He took it albeit reluctantly. "This is the proposition with have for you. Read it, think it through and give us, me, call. I would love to take out to lunch and discuss business."

Regina rolled her eyes, "Are you done? I have a date with this marvelous man and you are in the way."

Kathryn looked at Robin with pity in her eyes and Regina wanted to punch her in the nose, maybe break a bone or two.

"Just watch out for her. Don't propose, chances are she'll say now with a pitiful excuse." The blonde turned, laughing and Regina had half a mind to push her. But she stayed cool and as level-headed as possible. She couldn't succumb into her taunt, especially not in front of Robin. It was hard, that woman had always managed to get even a saint angry. She sort of reminded her of Zelena, the only difference was that her sister had her more tolerable moments, Kathryn was a full on raging bitch that didn't care about anything or anyone for that matter.

Once the blonde was out of sight, Regina released a long groan that always came when interacting with a Midas. They were all so entitled and horrible human beings and it was a wonder Regina hasn't broken that woman's face before.

"You guys know each other?" She almost jumped when Regina heard his voice, turning around to him with a frown.

"I wish I didn't." And Robin not so confused look came and she added, "We used to work for the same buffet until I quit. Best decision I've ever made."

But Robin wasn't interested in that. It was clear in his blue eyes that what grasped his attention was the last thing the woman had said. And she wants to tell him, really, she does but she is too sober for that at the moment. "I promise to tell you all about Graham but first can we drink something and then debate if we are moving forward with this date or not?"

 


	12. Chapter 12

"So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them."

—

Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

_December 17, 2010._

_Have you ever thought you knew a person so well that you start to believe you can anticipate each and every one of their moves? You always get it right, down to the minor detail but when that person does something unexpected you begin to question the knowledge you've gathered with careful precision._

_The truth is we never truly know a person a hundred percent. It is just an illusion created by our minds to have a sense of control over the unknown. Sometimes they are insignificant details, other times it is a whole other side of a person that always been shrouded by shades because you never really did shine a light on it because, at the time, t didn't matter to you._

_I'm going, to be honest, I thought I knew Marian well, more than any other person in the world and that may be as well a universal truth but I didn't know her completely. As time passed by after her death, I've discovered things that not in a million years I would've imagined._

_I supposed it is of normal occurrence to find out brand new things of a person even after their departure. If the roles were reversed, and if I was the one to die, I'm pretty sure Marian would be the one discovering new things. Though I'm pretty sure this diary wouldn't exist. True, Marian gave me this leather bound journal but she truly didn't have any interest in writing. Something I learned recently thanks to my sister._

_If Belle did not say anything to me, I would have lived blissfully unaware._

_I really don't blame Marian, writing is an acquired taste for me but I've come to love it. It had freed me in ways unimaginable._

_Anyway..._

_How many times has a person shocked you by doing something completely unexpected? Something you didn't imagine them to do? If I tell you how many times, I'll probably run out of pages and ink. Everyone in my life has surprised me, there's no way around it but it is better this way._

_Have you ever wondered how boring life would be if you could predict everyone's moves?_

_It will be like a binary code of zeros and ones, utterly repetitive and unappealing to the eye._

_Life shouldn't be measured by an algorithm._

_Life should be a wonder, an adventure._

_An everyday experience that will mark you, leave a scar that you wouldn't mind wearing with pride._

_Life is unexpected._

_Chose to walk down the road less traveled._

_Chose to believe that in the unknown you can find the greatest adventure of all._

|xXx|

The evening started on a sour note.

More accurately on a pharmacy blonde who is extremely annoying, note.

After their little run in with her ex-coworker, and the way she blatantly hit on Robin, Regina's anger (jealousy) level rose to levels she hadn't experience before. She never, ever, gotten along with that woman, first because she always was jumping on her cases, then because of Graham and now? Well, now she truthfully crossed the line.

Quitting that job meant not dealing with that woman anymore but now that she is back to meddle in her personal life, well Regina ain't too happy about it and her brooding must be showing for Robin is looking at her with an amused expression and a brow raising.

The moment they walked into the empty restaurant, Robin headed to the bar, in search of whiskey and Regina stood by the door, not really looking at anything, just silently stewing in herself.

"Regina?" Robin called out, causing the brunette's gaze to raise to the man that was standing behind the bar. The movement allowed her to look around, her breath catching in the back of her throat. The bar, actually the whole restaurant was decorated with fairy lights and candles that sent a forest like an aroma swirling into her lungs. She really doesn't remember seeing this place like this, taken out of a fairytale book but she soon realizes that this was the first time she went at night. But she really does wonder if it always looks like this.

"Robin, this place looks amazing." Regina finally found her voice, walking towards the bar area where she sat down, her right hand reaching for the glass Robin had poured her and her eyes locking with his. The massive grin that the man gave her, had Regina's heart beating a tad faster than usual. She could feel her pulse quickening under her skin, hairs raised at the back of her neck. There was a warm sensation going down, right into her belly and she hasn't even taken a swig of her drink. This was all Robin, and she could easily be drunk on his eyes, his voice, his whole self.

Shit.

"Thanks." He said, taking a mouthful of his whiskey, before leaning over the counter and settling down his glass. "I'm gonna tell you a little secret. This setting is actually related to one of the places I visited." His smirk caused her lips to curve up into a tiny grin but it quickly disappeared as she began to think about his journal and all the places she already visited. None of them reassemble the restaurant, so it must be a place she hasn't visited.

"Oh!" Regina exclaimed.

She hasn't read much since she hit pause on her journey, so Regina doesn't really know what he is talking about. The fact that is quite apparent to Robin as he smirked at her with true delight. Regina picked up her glass and took a sip of her drink. The warmth settling her initial nerves but this sensation didn't even come close to the way she felt when Robin smiled at her a few moments ago.

Curiosity clawed at her like a caged tiger and swirl in her mind madly. "Aren't you going to tell me?"

Robin chuckled, drinking the last of his whiskey whilst walking around the bar to stand beside her. Robin leaned closer to her ear, and whispered, "Spoilers."

Regina felt a shiver run up and down her spine. His breath hit her on the neck, hot and heart stopping and she had to take a deep intake of air as she turned to him. When she did, Robin was offering her a hand which she took without a shred of hesitation.

"You know it isn't nice to tease me like this," Regina spoke as she is being lead to the table they were occupying for the evening.

Robin pulls a chair for her, smirking at her words. "I've never had any complaints." He shamelessly shot back, walking to his own chair still wearing a thin smirk. Regina watched him sit down, her cheeks feeling a bit warm at his insinuation. It seems like Robin is acutely aware of the effect his words had for he leaned forward to grab the empty glass on her side of the table, "You are more than welcome to find out." coming from his mouth as he sat back in his chair. The man reached for a bottle of wine, opened it and pour some of the vermilion liquid to both glasses and placed it back on her side again.

The brunette reached for her glass, cheeks hotter than before. She took a sip of her wine, trying to drown the flush that he provoked in her but as much as she tried, everything else betrayed her. Robin as fluid with words spoken or written graced her with a more visible smile before sipping his own wine. The silence washed over them as they looked at each other over the rim of their glasses. There was something about that moment that made her pulse quicken underneath her skin and it wasn't the innuendo, no, there was something more there that the brunette couldn't possibly describe but it settled in her heart like a warm, protective blanket even more so when the man before her placed his glass down and reached for her hand. Regina did not hesitate and was placing her in his. The touch felt like electricity like when two electrodes touch and they short circuit, the electric charge is still there but it won't traveled any further. Not that it needed, as long as they spark was there, in their joined hands, there was no need for the energy to go elsewhere.

"I'm truly happy you accepted my invitation." Robin finally broke the silence, causing Regina's attention to fall from their joined hands to his face. That face adorned by crystal blue eyes songs are probably written about. A new calm fell over her. Regina was grinning herself, nodding gently his way.

"Honestly I'm glad you asked me."

These words reveal the confusion and affirmation that govern over her spirit. From the very moment Regina read his journal, Robin had been engraved into her mind like a tattoo. His words were wisdom to Regina, a breath of fresh air cleansing the impurities of her heart and lungs, coursing through her bloodstream giving the brunette a sense of security. It was insane to think that way by only reading his words, but now as he sat across from her she knew it was too crazy to feel that way. There was an undeniable connection with him, or at least that is how she feels. It was like all the missing pieces of her heart finally found a way to click together.

It was as if without him she was a sad song and their meeting had finally allowed her to reach that happy key that would turn her whole world upside down. Rocking, swaying from one space to the other. And with her travels she had done just that, move from desperation to the light. Her travels had brought her something that she searched in the wrong places, peace.

Robin gave her a charming smile that caused her insides to melt like the ice berg in the north pole thanks to global warming. The comparison almost made her snort out a laugh. The man across from her rose a brow in question. It looks like the mildly romantic moment was ruined by her not really appropriate internal monologue, well only the last part. "I'm being honest." She said in a matter of assurance, her hands squeezing softly his. She still feels on cloud nine, but at least the warmth on her skin is slowly retreating, that is until she remembers where she is.

Oh yeah, their date...

"I know you are," he said, brows creasing together as he examined her face even further. "Did you know when you are in deep thought there's this cute little crease at the corner of your mouth?" Tilting his head Robin adds, "It is cute. It looks like you are gonna either smile or lash out." There it is, the smile and her cheeks go from pale pink to bright red, again.

He is enjoying this too much. He likes to see her smile and blush, to turn her completely bashful with no warning. Makes things stir inside of Regina and she had to force herself to not swoon all over him. Her mother's voice ran through her head, 'Foolish girl. You are acting like a love sick school girl.' And it immediately sobers up Regina but the smile sticks around on her lips. The last thing she wants is for him to worry about her thanks to the voices in her head.

"My, aren't you observant." She says with a practiced nonchalance, trying to not be over eager. Daniel used to be like that too. He took in every detail of her mundane life, her expression, her words and turned them into something else. Robin had that capability but with the slight difference that this man in her presence had a way of turning everything into poetry. That is how she cataloged him, as a poet, a wordsmith capable of turning a simple moment in life into a monumental event. That was his journal, that was him, poetry in constant motion.

And a work of art seeing as his smile brightens the room more than lit candles could ever do. "I like exploring the beauty of everything my eyes come across."

Oh...

"What is it exactly you're trying to accomplish with all of this flattery?" Regina asked casually reaching for her wine. It isn't amiss to her that their hands are still joined together and Robin doesn't seem too keen on letting go of her anytime soon. She doesn't mind, really, it was rather nice to feel his warm skin against her. It allows her to fantasize about a lot of things her mind shouldn't be poking around. There was a level of intimacy in that simple act of just holding hands. Moments, memories, feelings slotting together in perfect harmony. Souls magnetized to find one another. It was simple, yes, but it held so much more meaning than anything else that was personal to Regina. It was a scary notion to feel like this in such a short time but to be fair Regina had been slowly falling for the man whose words been marking her soul from the very first entry of his journal. She could have been either disappointed with him upon meeting or like him even more and it looks like the former was the winner here.

Robin sucked in his lower lip, shrugging nonchalantly at her words. "No ulterior motive." He expressed, squeezing her hand softly. "Just the truth."

"Sure." Regina picked up the half empty glass of wine and drank what was left. The liquid went down warm and made her fuzzy but not as fuzzy as Robin's gaze on her was provoking. It was like he was trying to decipher all of her secrets, her insecurities, her dreams and keep them close to his heart for future use. "I'm pretty sure you use that line countless of times with other women." Her words came out without even noticing. Regina felt bad for expressing her thoughts that way and Robin looked genuinely stricken but he didn't let go of her hand but he did frown.

The man cleared his throat. "Only the one I'm interested in." He clarified with a tiny smirk on his lips. "And in the past few years only one had captured my attention, you."

Too much, it was too much for Regina if she was being honest to herself. Robin looked so poised and so sure of himself while she was screaming bloody murder inside. Sure, she is the vision of perfection on the outside, even with her cheeks hot red, she can maintain her mask of coolness through it but slowly that mask slips showing a wide array of emotions she usually kept in check. That was her ability, something she learned after years of depression, loneliness and various anxiety attacks, how to act like nothing was bothering her when in reality she felt everything to her very bones. Her whole being soaked in the emotions she didn't allowed the outside world to see.

Not the ideal way of living, but the only one she knew.

Regina wants to pull away, stand up and leave, but she can't, Robin's gaze had her magnetized. Since she can't, there's only one thing she can do. "About Kathryn and Graham…" Change the topic and hope Robin would follow her lead.

There was this adorable crease between his brows. A mixture of confusion and amusement that had the brunette wanting to laugh and cringe all at the same time. She was not subtle, not by a long shot, but she was out of her comfort zone for way too long and it was starting to make her feel restless.

"What about them." Finally, Robin let go of her hand and she was left missing the warmth, the safety she was feeling. Regina found herself wanting to reach for his hand again because it was the only thing keeping her tethered to sanity but she did not reach for it again. One because he was serving more wine and two, she didn't want to seem needy. So Regina settled her hands on her lap, smiled a bit as Robin placed her glass back down. She muttered a 'Thanks.' Before reaching for it and taking a sip. The brunette made a mental note to ask for the name of the wine later in the night because it was so rich and smooth and she downed it with ease. Once she settled the glass back down, Regina fidget a little with her hands, a bad habit that her mother would have probably admonished her for but Cora wasn't here and she was nervous and everything else that came with the territory of talking about her past. It wasn't easy, she still hasn't gotten over a lot of things but she knows well that trusting Robin is something she can do, no questions ask.

"I dated Graham for about two years…" She muttered, playing with the stem of her glass. "Well date is not the accurate term here. It was more like an emotionless sex thing?" Regina picked up the glass, drinking a generous portion of the crimson liquid after that admission. Sure, she had known that is exactly what it was but never did she admit it with those words. So it made her wonder where her filter ran off to. Robin on the other side was attentively looking at her and it Regina a bit conscious but she already opened her mouth, might as well continue with Storytelling time. "He wanted something more, something serious. He wanted to marry me but I…" Regina trailed off for a moment, breathing in sharply. Marriage wasn't something she ever considered after Daniel. There was a part of her still clinging to him, or least there was back then, now she is free from the thoughts of love that bind her to a story that came to an abrupt end. "…I didn't want that. After Daniel died I didn't see myself with anyone else emotionally. Graham was sweet and all but he wasn't Daniel. They were both as different as heaven and hell. I always kept things clear between us and for some time it worked up until Kathryn Midas transferred to the firm." The name of the blonde devil made her rolled her eyes instantly. It was no secret that they disliked each other. They were in constant competition. Though Regina was the better lawyer, which is why the blonde always made her life a living hell. "I was one of the greatest assets for them firm and she knew it. So she constantly tried to unbalance me, she sets her eyes on Graham. Before I knew it they were married but I wasn't bothered because I wasn't giving him what he really wanted so she blew a fuse."

Robin's brow lifted, "Blew a fuse?"

Regina bites her lower lip, "She started screaming that I was an emotionless robot that played with people's feelings." Shrugging she added, "She was right to a certain point, but I knew all she wanted was to wound me, to pick me apart and destroy me but when I didn't respond to her attempt of picking a fight she left the firm. Took a sabbatical and left her father hanging."

Robin crossed his arms, taking in every one of Regina's words. He was intrigued; she could see it in his eyes. There were questions ready to be asked, and she would try to answer them as best as she can. "What about Graham? Did he ever apologize for just leaving you like that?"

That was an unexpected question.

"Why would he apologize?" She inquired.

"Because he left you without giving an explanation." He simply stated like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Regina had to looked at him strangely. "I never said he didn't give me an explanation."

"Did he tell you he was leaving you to be with another woman?"

"No." Regina said with a tinge of hesitation.

"And it did bother you." Robin stated calmly.

Regina did not like where this was going. "It didn't."

"You are lying." The man uncrossed his arms, placing his hand on top of the table. "No one likes to be alone. You didn't use him for sex, but for companionship. Even if you say otherwise we both know what the truth is." Regina felt hurt and understood all at the same time but she really didn't know what to feel. Her eyes must have been reflecting her emotions in perfect light because he was speaking again. "There's nothing wrong with that, you know. Having someone to fill the lonely moments it just makes you human."

Regina didn't take in kindly being called a liar, especially not from him of all people but she was there sitting speechless because he was right. The brunette hated the fact that she was unable to refute his words and if she tried the chances of not sounding convincing were extremely high. There weren't a lot of people in her life that could tell her things like this, so raw and without beating around the bushes and she can see, now more than ever she can see why Mal and him were so close. Mills chose that moment to exhale that breath still stuck in her lungs. "You really have a way with words, don't you?"

The man released a soft chortle that was mixed with relief. "I try to be as honest as possible, true to myself."

She can see that.

"Noted." Regina grasped the stem of her glass, lifting it with grace as she clinks it with Robin's. A smile blooms on her lips before she wrapped them on the rim of the glass and took a generous sip. The settling silence was different from before, not heavy or discomforting, it was just right, perfect even. Mills didn't feel the pressure of the moment that just transpired, on the contrary she finally felt light. But there was a thought still lingering in her head. Does Robin think that she is still in search of someone to occupy her lonely moments? Or does he know that for the first time in a while she wants to be emotionally committed as well? What was she even thinking, Regina is reading way too much into his interest towards her. Maybe he just wants to be friends while she is imagining a whole new movie in her head.

Snap out of it Regina…

" Regina?" Robin called out drawing her out of her reverie. Regina shook her head, giving him a 'Yes?' kind of look when he pointed to her purse on the bar area. "Your phone is ringing."

Answering the phone while on their date was rude, and she had half a mind to let it go to voicemail, but there's a voice in her head telling her she should answer it. And it was that voice that had the brunette standing up and walking towards the bar. Regina rummage through her purse until finding the damn thing that was interrupting one of the greatest, scariest nights of her life. Upon looking at the screen Mills frowned. It was a number she couldn't recognized and normally she would ignore it, especially now that she doesn't work as an attorney anymore but that voice kept insisting her that she should. Regina slide her finger over the screen, quickly placed the speaker on her ear. "Good evening." Every part of the poise woman she was raised to be took hold. "Yes, this is Regina Mills." She causally said. That grace that she had held a few seconds ago completely disappeared, replaced by a face of horror as she covered her face. "Is this some kind of joke…" She muttered into the phone. Robin must have noticed her distress for he was at her side in a blink of an eye, cupping her elbow gently. The voice through the phone explained the situation. When she hung up, the brunette just turned to Robin, her head falling on his chest without a second thought and released a pained sigh.

"What's wrong?" Robin asked, running a soothing hand up and down her back. Regina didn't pull back, she liked to have him so close, to smell his woodsy perfume that grounded her to that moment and place even though she had received bad news.

She didn't pull back, no once but she spoke softly, "My dad was in an airplane accident and it is in the hospital. They don't know if he will survive." It was when Robin's arms wrapped around her frame that she allowed herself to cry. "I didn't even know he was coming back." She muttered because know, she didn't. The only reason he would even consider coming to the states was for the wedding and he already said he wasn't. So she was confused, and hurt and sad, worried everything in between. Her father was the only family member that truly cared for her and losing him will leave her alone in the world. She cannot fathom a world with Henry Mills.

Robin kept his hold on her, not to tight to cut her air flow but close enough to let her know that he was there for her. "What hospital is he in?" He asked while cupping the back of her head. Regina shook her shoulder softly. Whether she was crying or not didn't go amiss to him. He knew well that Regina adored her father and that adoration was reciprocated. He himself had a lot of respect for the man, in some way meeting Regina was thanks to him.

"Kindred Hospital." Regina managed to say as she pulled back taking a deep breath. "I should go."

"I'll take you." Robin offered. "And before you say it, no, I'm not taking no for an answer."

Honestly, she was glad because one she didn't have her car and two she wouldn't be able to concentrate on the road. "Okay…" She picked up her purse, "Wait, what about the restaurant you have all these candles lit and…"

"I'll call Belle and explain things to her. She'll take care of everything." He kissed her brow, Regina closed her eyes. "You'll see, your father is going to be alright."

"I hope so…" Is all Regina able to say as she walked to the door. The street was cold, colder than normal for an LA night. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she feels fear. Fear was cold, and unrelenting, it grasped her heart in a vice like grip and suppress the air from her lungs. For a long time she held in her breath up until Robin opened the door of the car for her.

"Regina…" He grabbed her by the arms gently, "Breathe." And she did. "Your father is strong. He'll get through this…"

Was he trying to convince her or himself?

"Lets just go." Regina brushed his hands off and got into the car.

Robin sighed but he didn't the indifference in her voice discourage him. He simply closed the door, walked around the car and opened his. When he got into the car and turned it on, he glanced at Regina who was looking out the window with a pensive expression. The man didn't say anything, he knew well she needed to process things so he drove off, without saying a single word.

Regina was glad that Robin didn't push the topic any further. Her mind was a complete mess and that usually meant that mean words were most likely to leave her tongue. The last thing she wanted was to attack Robin with the frustration that she felt at the moment, he didn't deserve it, not when he could have just let her go on her own without a care to himself. That's why he like him so much. Robin was a caring soul that took care of the ones he loved with fervor. Not that he loves her, it would be insane to think that, especially in such a delicate moment, but she was special to Mal and he probably thought that if something happened to her the blonde dragon lady would probably rip his head off. Even so, she wanted to think that some part of Robin did care for the brunette the way her heart is caring, cares, for him.

Definitely wasn't the time for that.

She grabbed her phone and dialed her mother's number. Even though Cora and Henry have been essentially separate, they are still pretty much married and she felt almost a moral obligation to tell her mother even though Regina was pretty sure the news got to her first. "Shit…" She muttered when there was no answer.

"Everything alright?" Robin asked after five minutes of him silently driving.

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose before turning to him with a scowl. "Mother didn't answer her phone. No surprise there." Whenever it came to Regina calling, the woman acutely ignored her calls until she felt generous enough to answer.

"Did you try your sister?" He asked and Regina tried very hard not to laugh. That woman doesn't care about anyone else but herself.

"Chances of her caring about this are slim." The bitterness of her voice made Regina cringe. She would have felt bad but it was the truth. Zelena was as heartless as her mother. "I'll just ask the hospital receptionist if she called mother." Momentarily forgetting about them, Regina turned to Robin. "Thanks for taking me and sorry I'm just a little…"

"Overwhelmed and worried." He reached over to grab her hand. "I know, don't worry. We will be there soon. There's no use on going out of your head."

Right.

Mills took a deep breath and nodded. It was hard to keep a positive outlook in this situation but she'll try. Even if it was impossible. Even if this situation with her father is bound to bring her old friend 'Anxiety' back. The only good thing about this dreadful moment was that for the first time in a very long time, Regina was no longer alone. That she was in the company of a man that truly had a heart of gold.

 


	13. Chapter 13

****

_January 12 2011_

_Between Christmas and New Year I've been putting off writing. Been recharging muses, and stacking up experiences to be drawn in ink, to form words that will uncoil my soul. It was a bittersweet month, December. Without Marian around the usual dates with appeal, dates that filled me with joy are now empty, hollow. But I'm alive, and she wouldn't want me to become a dull person just because she wasn't around. So I kept close to the people I love, and in a way it healed my soul, brought me a new feeling of warmth._

_I am ready to face another day, a new year, which brings me back to writing the new entry._

_Life is a big risk, a gamble._

_We strategize according to our situations, take in all the damages our actions might have caused, and then charge in with a battle cry._

_Because life is a war zone and the many battles you win or lose will make or break you, it will all depend on your state of mind after a fight. Not all bad actions will be punished, not all good ones will be acknowledged. It's all part of the transformation process, what mold us into decent human beings. Though experiences have a tendency of affecting people in various of way, not all good, not all bad._

_A tug and pull with your inner self and the self you project to the world._

_A struggle that puts in perspective all of our strengths and weaknesses and allow us to make the necessary adjustments to better move forward with our inner war._

_To be completely honest I've never made such comparison till recently._

_Being how I am (or used to, or am?), happy, cheerful and absolutely positive, I've never really had to worry about the darker part of life.I had everything one could possibly dream off. Love, family, a job and friends. So I never really stopped to think (or was forced to) about the darker side of the moon. Not until the brightest star in my sky fizzled out of existence forever. It was then when I realized a lot of things I was blind to. Things I was blissfully unaware off._

_Experiencing darkness, loss, depression shaped me in ways I couldn't even imagined. Hearing the call of the obscure for the first time had left me glued to one place._

_I dared to be happy only to be slammed by the cold grip of reality._

_It was clear to me that life wasn't always bright, that there were shades of grey that needed to be explored in order for me to find something that's pure again._

_It was clear to me that a lot of people live in that area. Forever surrounded by the lack of colors and harsh winters. That happiness wasn't of normal occurrence and when they reach for it with fervor and passion, they are smacked on their hands like children._

_I couldn't have ever imagined to lived like that. Always looking over your shoulder, trying not to tempt fate when in the morning you searched for the warmth of the sun. Or searching for guiding lights in the middle of the night. I had the horrible misconception that everyone was happy, that life rewarded those who kept a positive outlook in life but I was wrong._

_Trials are part of life but letting them drag you down is the same as living a life being unaware of all the pain and suffering happening all around you._

_In order to find contentment, satisfaction, you need to be willing to fight for it. It won't be handed to you on a silver platter. Smooths paths towards happiness don't exist, and if they do, they are fought for as well. What's important here is how you react to the pain, because that will define you._

_Are you going to close your heart at the first sight of pain and misfortune? Or are you going to fight back? Arm yourself with resolve and might, push back the hands of fate? Life is too short to be living it afraid of what you might find through every door. Even if fear is a necessary evil because it forces you to be vigilant, but it is also soul shattering and crippling. There's so much to do, but if you allow the vice like grip of fear forever hold you hostage in yourself, you'll never to be able to grow as a human being._

_Your potential forever wasted because you didn't take risks._

_Something to think about while I drink the last of the eggnog Belle made._

_You should think about it as well,_

_Robin._

|xXx|

Her entire life, she had been able to guard her emotions with tooth and nail. Not showing how she felt was Regina's way of self preservation, a way of protecting her heart from external forces that always had bad intentions. She felt pride on how her mask was perfectly crafted, a shield with zero weakness, made from the strongest materials known to mankind and unknown to them a well. But as Robin drove to the hospital, Regina found herself discarding said mask. Guarding her emotions cost a lot of energy, energy that she doesn't feel like mustering. With all the emotional exertion in one night, it was stupid to even try.

Even if she tried, it was a futile attempt from her part. For some reason he knew what she felt, better than she did. That's why he didn't speak, or maybe he just keeping quiet because he doesn't know her at all and speaking reassuring words will only rub her the wrong way. On second thought maybe he knew her well enough to deduce such a it was, Regina didn't feel like talking. There were many scenarios running through her head to be able to hold a conversation with Robin at the moment.

Regina's heart hammered hard against her rib cage wanting to escape the boney prison trying to keep it in place. It beat like a lion galloping to their kin, fast, relentless and with a ferocity that had a sob climbing up her throat. The news about Henry's accident fell like a bucket of cold water against her skin. Made her shiver and want to cry and scream all at once. Her father, such a kind soul, didn't deserve to be at the edge of death. There are still so many things she wants to say, so many things she wants to show him but now everything was so bleak that her own glow was beginning to lose intensity the more her mind entertain the possibility of death. It all dropped her to the final moments of Daniel's life, how she cried weeks later, not wanting to feel that sort of pain ever again.

This was a reminder.

A warning of what happens when she tempts fate and plays at being happy. Maybe it was better to have stayed in that blasted small office, unhappy, but at least her father would have been safe. Because Regina is sure that the only reason he was even returning to the states after such a long time away was because of her. To keep her company if Robin didn't go to the wedding with her. The realization made her hurt even more causing her to close her eyes shut, biting her lip and her hands locking on fist on top of her lap.

This was not happening.

Now she is dragging Robin into her bad luck streak and she couldn't fathom the idea of something bad happening to him as well. Especially after knowing all the struggles he had been through to be the person he is today.

All because she wanted to be selfish and happy.

"Regina…" His voice was like an angelic melody against her ear drums. Soft and warm, making her heart fluttered even in the sea of distress. But she did not speak, did not move, did not even dare to breath too afraid of robbing him of air. "Regina." He tried again but this time he placed a hand over one of her fist. She could tell the action was hesitant at first, especially when she flinched not used to having someone there in the middle of one of her break down. Well, maybe Mal but usually she masks it better. Right now she can't. The brunette opened her eyes when Robin's hand tighten his hold, "We are here…" being whispered and she had to look up quickly, the action rattling pain all around her skull but she didn't care for it at the very moment. All she could think about was her father and the need to know that we was safe, that he would get through this. She wanted to run to him but something was rooting her to the chair and it struck her with a shivering feeling.

She was afraid.

"I…" Regina began, willing her body to move, her fist to unclench and reach for the door handle but the will of fire that usually drove her, or at least it drove her for the last few months, had disappeared replaced by crippling chain binding her to place. Robin let go of her hand, the warmth instantly missed. The moment she decided to look at the man in question he was already getting out of the car. Confusion marked her face, confusion and fear all together because she was afraid of going on but she was also afraid of facing this alone. "Rob–." But before she had the opportunity of finishing calling his name, the door to her side swung open and he crouched beside her.

"I know this is scary…" Understatement of the year, she thought but didn't say anything else. Words weren't easy to find when your heartstrings were drawn back with intense force, threatening to snap at any moment notice. "...but you want to know about Henry and sitting here won't give you answers."

She knows he is right. Regina should grasp the courage tight in her hands, use it to propel herself inside and face whatever uncertain future lay behind those hospital doors. She should, but she can't seem to pluck the necessary bravery to just up and move. "He is everything I have." Mills finally voiced out, the words rattling something in her chest. Even if that wasn't entirely true (she can count on Mal and even Robin now) it wasn't the same. The only person that had been for her since day one was him, her father. The first time she rode a two wheel bicycle, when she decided to play the piano, when she fell, her first heartbreak, everything, he was there backing her up. Even in this notion of traveling the world to find herself, Henry was there providing the support she did not get from her mother and sister. He is the only person that mattered in her life and the thought of losing him makes her feel alone, lost. "I don't want to lose him." Regina bites her lip, feeling it quivering as a new sort of sob threatens to rise. She managed to stop, to put it off for later when she is alone. Crying isn't going to help in that instant -as much as she wants to-, it isn't going to stop fate from whatever plan it had for her father but she needed to be strong even if at the moment she didn't feel it was possible.

"I know." Robin said with a bittersweet smile that half annoyed her and half made her heart stutter. "We just have to hope for the best but…" He trailed off. Regina knows how the saying goes and she is grateful that he did not finish that thought. It made everything the more real. She is still hoping this is nothing but just a bad dream. That she had fallen asleep lulled by wine and Robin's deep accented voice but the pain in her chest tells another different story. But Mills clings to the idea of slumber over reality. "You ready?" He offered a hand.

Her eyes fell on his hand. Strong, callous and warm from the way it had covered her fist just a moment ago, fist that has slacken on her lap. Half moon mark marred her fair skin from the pressure, and she winced a little. If that didn't tell her she was truly awake, nothing else will. Still, the pain wasn't her primary thought, it was his hand, still his hand. It offered more than just help but security. More than security, it offered a safe haven in which she could shed all her inhibitions and bared herself to the reality, to pain and hope and faith and it was just too much. All her life she had spent it trying to drown her demons, all the dark thoughts that had hovered over her like a cloud, but those demons knew how to swim. Robin offered her a life vest to surface from all those time her demons tried to pull her under as well.

She accepted his hand.

With a deep breath, Regina used her other hand to free herself from the seat belt and grab her purse. There was a long second of pause between the action of freedom and getting out of the car but when she did, the air hit her skin, causing shiver and goosebumps to rise. Noticing this, Robin took one jacket from the back seat and placed it over her shoulder. The new warmth had Regina closing her eyes and focusing only on that up until the soft thud of door closing made her open her eyes and focus on the hospital ahead. "Ready?" He asked again and Regina grabbed his hand (he had let go to look for the jacket) a anchor tethering her to place.

"No." She finally said looking at him, "But then again I'll never be ready for something like this."

|xXx|

The wait was eternal and oddly familiar to him.

His mind went back to those final moments of Marian's life. How he had paced around the waiting room waiting for answers. Waiting for a miracle to happen.

It never did.

Robin can feel how the hospital walls sucked all the warmth and peace from ill souls and from those souls waiting for some good news. How everyone moved in slow motion and looked at him, at them with a pity he did not miss. If he wasn't fairing well, Regina was even worse. Her staccato steps left and right had raised with every second that passed. She couldn't stay still, he didn't blame her, and the strain in her face made her look older than she really is. Then again she always walked around like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and it made him feel bad. Not for her, pity is something she certainly doesn't tolerate and he cannot give but for the way her mind is wired to take every blow and actually believe it is her fault. Because he can imagine that she feels like this accident was her fault. Can see it in her eyes, that lacked light and hope. He felt the need to pull her to him and hug her tight but there are boundaries to whatever this is and besides, she doesn't need to be coddled, she needs support and he'll provide just that in any way he can. "How long does it take to operate?" Her voice caused him to look up with a frown, the remark leaving his lips without even thinking about it.

"Usually hours." He deadpanned.

Wrong thing to say.

Regina sent a glare his way and he rose his arm in surrender. Her gaze could cut through anything and he was vaguely reminded about something Mal had said once.

" _Regina has a temper that could cause forest fires." Mal said whilst lifting her glass of wine. Robin rose a brow at that, laughing._

" _I don't know what to make of her." He casually said, "I mean you told me of all her struggles but then you say things like that and I'm left confused."_

_Mal placed down her glass, eyes glossing over the surface of the table before settling on him. "She is someone who uses her sarcasm, to protect herself. That caustic nature of hers is only but a shield."_

_Robin let those words roll around his head, making sense of them slowly. He could understand them but until he doesn't meet her, he won't know what to make of her._

Well, he needs to be careful. Mal was right, Regina protects herself rather well. Has wall all around her to keep people out and emotions locked in. The moment in the car allowed him to see a side of her he is pretty sure Regina hates showing. But the moment has passed and now she was back with her walls taller than ever. Robin supposed he really hadn't seen it because Regina had acted awestruck when they met back in Sicily but now, what happened to her father, had withdrawn her. Though he has a pretty good idea as to what exactly. Talking seemed like a good idea but she is too distracted and it wouldn't even matter in that very instant.

He really, really hopes Henry will be alright. Otherwise all she had done to find herself will be for naught.

Robin won't allow that.

He took a step towards her, not enough to invade her personal space but close enough that they could talk. "Regina, your father will be alright."

"You don't know that." She looked at him, arms crossed.

No he doesn't but he hopes with his whole heart that's true.

"You gotta have a bit more faith than that. He is a strong willed man. And he still needs to see his daughter truly happy." Robin reached for her arm, squeezed gently before dropping his arm to the side. "I'm gonna get some bad, stale coffee from the cafeteria and something to eat because we didn't get a chance to do so."

Their date had been interrupted with these news but he will make sure that she is well feed while waiting.

"I'm not hungry." Regina simply said uncrossing her arms. "But I could go for coffee."

Robin nodded, "I'll bring you something to eat just in case. I still owe you dinner after all." Locksley then smiled adding, "I won't take long." He was about to turn and leave when someone spoke.

"Henry Mills relatives." Regina was quickly rushing to the doctor and Robin found himself doing the same. He stood right beside Regina, her body trembling and fear swirling in her eyes. Robin placed a hand on the small of her back, providing comfort and support. Regina's body relaxed but her eyes kept that intense fear in them.

"I'm his daughter. How is he…?" The thinness of her voice has taken Robin by surprise. One moment she was all bite and sharp edges and the next she was smooth and soft as silk. There's a certain beauty to it. Something he cannot explain, but it pulls at him like opposite sides of magnets.

Focus Robin.

The doctor cleared his throat, Sighing. Robin wasn't sure if it was from exhaustion or because he held bad news on the tip of his tongue. All he knew is that nervous energy blossom in the pit of his stomach, hand on the small of Regina's flinched a little. The brunette must have noticed the change because her hand was quickly covering his (something he did not expect) and he relaxed, somewhat.

"Henry had several deep injuries but thankfully none of them hit fatal places." Robin and Regina released a breath at the same time. "He is asleep but he'll recover." The doctor gave them a few instructions that would help to improve his condition before Regina asked the question.

"Can we see him?" And even if they couldn't, Robin was sure she would find a way to do so.

"Fifteen minutes. He needs to rest well." Regina nodded, beginning to walk to the room but Robin didn't follow. She must have noticed his absence because she looked back with a brows knitted together.

"Aren't you coming?" A step closer to him is taken.

Robin shook his head but before she could say something he spoke. "I'll be there in a few minutes. I promised you coffee and something to eat." Locksley saw that she was ready to argue so he didn't let her. "I think you need a few minutes alone with him to make sure that he is alright and that this nightmare will pass."

Regina gave a ninety degree turn to look down the hallway that will take her to her father and then back at him. "Thanks." And he wasn't sure for what exactly she was thanking him for but nevertheless, he smiled ready to leave when she took another step closer and kissed his cheek. If her touch was unexpected, this was more so but it made his heart hit hard against his chest. He decided to ignore the feeling. "Thanks for everything. Don't take too long."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

|xXx|

Henry Mills slept peacefully like nothing bad was happening in the world. Like she wasn't half scared to death -not the best word to describe it- for his uncertain future. But he was there, resting and alive and she supposed it was better than the alternative. Thinking about that possible future (too close for comfort) had her wanting to cry again. Regina placed a hand over her mouth as if that would push down the bile of emotions, too strong, that were climbing up her throat.

"I'm fine, Regina." Her father's voice made her attempt to not cry futile. She rushed to his side, taking his hand in her, crying. Just a few hours ago she thought that hearing his voice again, hearing him call her name, would be impossible but her he is, smiling up at him and grimacing at the pain the action brought upon him.

"Careful daddy." Regina rose her other hand, fixing his pillow, before placing it on top of his cheek. "You really scared me." She whispered. Henry placed his hand on top of her and grinned. Regina shook her head, disbelief covering features. "It isn't funny."

Henry grimace a little trying to sit up but Regina stopped him from doing so, blowing a breathe out. "I still have a lot to do." He simply said, squeezing her hand.

"Yes, well taking care of yourself is now on your to do list." Regina said matter-of-factly, face stern. Henry blowed out a chuckle but nodded nonetheless and the brunette found herself finally relaxing. Her shoulder lifted and fell in quick succession and she managed to feel less stressed. "Weren't you supposed to stay in Sicily for a few months more?" She explicitly remembers him saying that he wouldn't return back home in a while, not even for Zelena's wedding. Her mother wouldn't mind his absence, neither would his sister and she envied her father for that. Because she really didn't want to go, though now that Robin had agreed to accompany her well things were less bleak? Yes, precisely that. So his coming back really threw her off.

"Well I wanted to see you, isn't that excuse enough?"

And Regina felt her heart shrink and grow at the same time. The corner of her lips twitched into a smile, a sigh leaving her mouth. "I suppose it is." She concedes, "But you should have told me."

"And ruin the surprise?" He rose a brow.

"You know I dislike surprises. They make me ansty." She confessed and Henry laughed.

"You need to live a little."

Regina snorted. "I've been doing just that lately." And she had. Even her father couldn't disagree with her statement. Ever since she found Robin's journal, Regina had felt truly alive. Traveling the world had given her a unique perspective on what living really is, even if she still have dark patches in her soul that would never be back to normal. But maybe she doesn't need them to go back to what they were. Maybe it was turn for a new Regina Mills to be born for them ashes of her pain. It will take a while to allow herself to open up, to fully open up. That she needs a new prescription to cure the illness that was darkness in her life.

Hard, it is extremely hard for her to do so but maybe not impossible? The thoughts still lingered in her head, the warning that fate had given he in the form of her father. Hurting the only reason in the world to be alive, to not go completely insane. And maybe it will be awhile before for the behavior beaten into her shifts to something more positive, but for now she'll embrace her current reality.

"I know." Henry said snapping her out of her cloud of thoughts. "And I am proud of you."

It melted her heart, remade it and filled it with pride to hear those words. He was the only person to ever expressed pride when it came to her. Her mother was too busy telling her what to do and Zelena was always gloating her success. So Henry's words were always a breath of fresh air to Regina. The brunette smiled, a genuine one, and sat back on her chair, the last remnants of nervous energy finally lifting from her body. Her father was safe, that was all that mattered.

A knock on the door captured her attention and she looks back only for moments later to see Robin sneak into the room with a bag of what she assumes is food and coffee.

Shit she had forgotten about Robin for a moment.

"Robin!" Her father called out bit too cheerful and it made her vision snap back to her convalescent father with a raised brow. The man gave sheepish look and shook her head. For a moment there she had forgotten that her father adores Robin.

"Good to see you well." Robin then walked closer, offering Regina a cup of coffee. She accepted with a small thanks and sipped. It was horrible but then again, Robin had warned her about how bad and stale the coffee was going to be. Nonetheless, the warmth was welcomed.

"As well as I can be." Her father replied and it made Robin chuckled a bit. The sound almost provoke a smile but she stopped it by drinking coffee. Last thing she needed is to be called out for smiling, or rather teased by it because of the reason behind said smile. Robin might not noticed but Mister Henry was too observant for her liking.

Robin placed the bag he had brought with him on the small nightstand beside her father's bed and returned to stand where he was a few seconds ago. Regina kept sipping on her coffee, keeping herself occupied. Now that the crisis had been averted, she feels nervous around him again. It made her more nervous the fact that he was still around, made her wonder if it was for her, for Henry or both.

Focus Regina.

"Well you'll be up and running in no time at all." From the corner of her eyes she could see Robin folding his arms, "From what I heard your wounds weren't fatal but you gave quite the scared.." Robin finished speaking and Regina scoffed.

"Understatement." Replied Regina before Henry had a chance to speak, and again he looked at her with a sheepish smile.

"I'm alive, sweetheart." He said raising her hand to kiss the back of it. "Can we move past the fright and onto better things, please?"

"Sure." Her voice was clipped, "But you are staying with me while you recover."

"That won't be necessary." Another voice said causing Regina to flinch. The familiarity made Regina close her eyes shot. She felt everyone in the room moved their gaze to the owner of said voice, everyone except her. There was no need to look when she knew who it belonged to.

"And why is that, mother?" Regina said finally opening her eyes to look at Henry who was looking from daughter to wife and vice versa, while Robin tensed. Funny, she wasn't looking at him, was even touching him but he felt his aura shift into something different. The brunette finally moved, standing up and turning to better face her mother. Back straight, shoulder squared and face masked with indifference, what she usually showed but not felt. Inside she was a mess of everything negative you could think off, that was Cora Mills' effect on her.

"He has a wife to take care of him." Cora replied back with her tone low. Regina fought the urge to snort out a laugh. Since when does she cares about him? Ever since she had used of memory, not once, did Cora cared for her father. At the moment it was an impossible notion to believe. Regina wanted to ask her what brought out this change upon her when Zelena and Walsh walked in.

The ginger stood right beside Cora, her future husband behind both woman. "Reporters are so bloody annoying." Zelena muttered, fixing her auburn locks.

Ah there it is.

"Of course this isn't coming from the goodness of your heart." Regina spat out surprised those words came out of her mouth. Robin looked at her with a raised brow and an amused smirk. Cora and Zelena both looked at Regina as well, somber like expression on their faces. Zelena can be ginger with blue eyes, the complete opposite from her, but she truly looked like Cora with that that locked jaw and raised brow. The brunette couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to slam her hand across the ginger's face, fist closed, nails digging into her skin again.

"You make it sound like I'm heartless." Cora spoke before Zelena could, clear declaration that she wanted her eldest daughter to be quiet. Unlike the other two Mills, the auburn beauty had little to none hold on her annoyance and anger. "Specially in front of this stranger." Cora's gaze flickered to Robin and something inside of Regina tighten. It was one thing parading Robin in a wedding where there was dozens of people but here? In the small hospital room with zero buffer to protect Robin, well fear gripped at her. "May I ask what is he doing here?" The woman did not take her gaze off Robin and Regina squirm in place, fought the need of just grabbing his hand and pull him out of the room, but of course she didn't. Cora would read so much into it and Regina wasn't ready. She still had time for the wedding. Time to talk to Robin about her family, about what to expect and how to safely navigate in the turbulent waters that was the Mills family.

"He's a friend of mine." Henry was quick to reply and Regina felt like something loosen.

"Robin of Locksley." And her gaze fell on him, on his hand outstretched for her mother to take. That warm and safe hand that made Regina feel tethered to the earth. Her mother gave it a one look over but did not take it. Mills angered bubbled in her stomach but why is she so surprised by her mother's dismissal? She probably thinks Robin is some sort of commoner, someone not worth her time and it made Regina hate her mother so much more. She really doesn't hate the woman but there are time -like this- that it is impossible to tolerate that woman. She had the unique ability to rub the wrong way, constantly. Robin made his hand close onto a fist before lowering his hand and then turned to Regina. "I'll be outside if you need me." He gave her a smile and Regina allowed herself for a moment to bask in the warmth that it provided. The man then turned to the other three people in the room, nodded at them and headed out the door. It wasn't until the click of the door announced that he was out that Regina released an exasperated like sound.

"That was rude." But Cora ignored her words.

"Henry is staying at the house." And Regina fought very,  _very_  hard to not lose her cool.

"Not happening." Regina declared, taking a step back to be side by side her father. "You didn't care of him while he was in Sicily, didn't even attempt communication with him. And now that he is the news you feel the need to take him in?" The brunette stood there, motionless, almost like a mountain.

"Says you." Zelena finally spoke. "You were too busy traveling to take care of  _your_  father."

That time Regina did snorted out a laugh. "If you must know. I spent the last week with him. You would have known that if you called to talk about other than your wedding of your achievements." Zelena scoffed, and Regina almost smiled, almost.

"That doesn't matter. He is still my husband and your mother and you'll both do as I say." Cora's left no room to argue, no room for Regina to say that no, she doesn't control her life but of course the woman skipped over her and looked at Walsh. "Walsh can you make sure that when Henry is discharged only you, Zelena or I can take him home."

At that, her blood boiled. Anger and hurt swirling inside of her. Regina was the only person who ever cared for him and the fact that Cora is pretty much leaving her powerless to do something more for him had her looking at the woman with daggers for eyes. "You so much as touch that door knob to leave…" Regina's voice was dangerously low, her eyes never leaving Cora. "I'll make sure you find out why people call me the evil queen." Her words must have had an effect on him. Seeing as he dealt with Mills' woman constantly, made him weary.

For good reason.

"Regina…" it was Henry's voice calling out at her. But she was too angry, too wired up.

"No. I'm so done with mother and her need to control the narrative in everyone's story." Regina pipped out, crossing her arms. "She doesn't control us."

"If I were you, I'd be very careful, foolish girl." Cora warned, her own voice holding the subtle note of threat with sea calmness. The very voice she always used on Regina whenever she did something wrong, something Cora didn't approved off. Usually it worked, even in her mid thirties, but she had enough of fears. She had enough of hiding, and intimidation. She had enough of Cora Mills.

"I've been careful my entire life in order to not see the monster you hid behind that shell. But I'm tired of this life of you." Her folded arms fell to the side, "Father,  _my father,_ is staying with me, because I actually care for him. Don't like it? Tough luck, I no longer aim to please you mother." Something inside Regina shifted. What she just did, what she just said (foolish, reckless action and words) wasn't something she never felt capable off. Standing up to the biggest bully in her life, her mother, gave her a rush a feeling she never thought possible. Even Zelena was looking at her with those wild blue eyes, like she had lost her mind.

Maybe she did?

Maybe she didn't?

All Regina knows that in that very moment she felt free and freedom felt so nice. Of course she knows this will have repercussions, and it was impossible to know what course of action the eldest Mills will take but for now, she shook her head and turned, not even caring to ask Henry how he felt. Zelena and Walsh followed behind her and Regina held her breath till the door closed. She slumped onto the chair, greedily breathing in and out. A minute more and her mother would have seen her break apart. She felt strong but not strong enough to hear more of her mother's words. For her entire life, Cora Mills had drilled into her all the imperfections she see in the mirror, her lack of ambition and everything in between. She had made her life a living hell but for the first time she doesn't feel like that and the fresh air of freedom is hard to swallow.

Henry sat up, grimacing in pain and it brought Regina back into reality rushing to help him. "Daddy, be careful." She muttered shaking her head and taking a deep breath. The man waved dismissively, his hand landing on her cheek.

"Have I told you lately how proud of you I am?" He asked even though a few moments ago he had told her he is. Regina grinned, nodding but words didn't come out. She was still choked on the air she was desperately breathing. "Well right I'm the proudest as I can be."

|xXx|

"Thanks, Belle. I'll call you soon to see if I can or not open the restaurant tomorrow." Robin hung up, running a hand over his face with a sigh. He was worried but right now not because of Henry's health but because of Regina's mental health. The air in that hospital room suddenly became heavy. With every second that passed by, it was harder to breath and he vaguely wondered if Regina had always lived with such corrupted air in her life. By the way she is constantly pulling away, masking emotions with indifference and all the things Mal had told him about Regina, he is pretty sure that she had.

Which is sad.

He had seen how the brunette is around Henry. All smiles and lightness, comparing that to the shadow she became when Cora Mills entered the room, it was more than clear that woman had a lot to do with the looming black cloud that is regularly hovering over her head.

"Mother, are you really going to let her get away with that?" The ginger asked as her, Cora and the man walked pass him without as much as a glance towards him. Honestly he is glad about it. "It is stupid to fight with Regina when she get like this…" Cora had said, stopping just a few paces away from him. The woman turned to Robin, and looked at him up and down just like she did before. "I find it hard to believe that you are simply my husband's friend." Robin's brow perched up, not really understanding why she would say that. "The way you are dressed and my daughter." Cora said as if she could read his mind. It took him a moment to understand exactly what she meant but then he remembered that they came rushing to the hospital from their date and well shit. Robin stood up, hands in his pockets a shrug following suit.

"I don't see how who I am to Regina or Henry matters here." Robin spoke clearly, head held high. He wasn't going to be intimidated by this woman who had battered Regina. He doesn't know the specific, but he wasn't blind, he saw and felt he fear that bleeded out of Regina.

"Matters." Cora replied shortly, clipped. "Matters because Regina can do better."

"No offense but you don't know me." Robin shot back.

"I know enough. Robin Locksley, restaurant owner and currently fighting off the Blanchard and Midas group."

Oh…

"That doesn't say anything." The man said.

"On the contrary, it says more than enough." The woman shrugged on her dark coat. Before turning around but before she left, she said something else. "Stay away from my daughter." And then she left. Robin watched her go, annoyed. He hadn't realized how hard he was scowling until he heard a voice.

"She is gone, Robin." Locksley turned to Regina who had an apologetic look on her face. She must have heard the conversation because there was a lot of distance between them and she was hugging his jacket around herself tight, like he was about to rip it off and walk away.

Robin released a groan, "Is she always like that?" It was a stupid question to ask, he imagined she was. Regina shrugged off his jacket, took a step towards him and offered it back.

"Pretty much." Her voice was so small, so full of fear that it actually hurt his heart. She must be thinking he will heed to her mother's words and leave. "Don't worry. I can take a cab home."

No. No. No.

He wasn't leaving. He wouldn't, couldn't.

But there's resignation in her voice to go with the pain and Robin feels like his heart is lowly cracking, about to burst out forever. But he isn't leaving, he can't leave her. Robin likes her too much, wants to discover where their paths will lead. If they will go down the same road less traveled or away from each other. He wants her in his life, and he wants to be in hers.

No, he won't leave.

"Don't worry. I'm used to people leaving me because of her." She spoke and he had enough of this. Anyone too afraid to face that woman head on didn't deserve to with Regina. She was smart, inspiring, a good friend, a caring daughter. Regina reminded him of a lot of things. Of pain and struggle and fight to become stronger to be the better version of themselves. He can see something happening, he can see a future even if it was just as friends but it was there, burning in the front of his mind. Robin took a step closer to her, grabbed her wrist still in the air and pulled her to him. Before she could say anything, before she could even protest Robin did the only thing he could think off, he kissed her.

 


	14. Chapter 14

_January 22, 2011_

_I love the sweet scent of pine more than an average person should. There's something relaxing about walking amidst the forest, the earthly scent swirling around while the sun began to set and the star popped out in the sky one by one. I don't know why it took me such a long time to visit the forest on my trips but I am happy that I've finally made it here._

_The Yakushima Forest in Japan_

_It took a four hour ferry ride from Sakurajima to Yakushima island but it was worth it. The scenery from the sea fell in comparison to the fairy tale like aura the entire forest seemed to bleed out. He had read that this forest, this almost perfectly circle shaped island, inspired the movie Princess Mononoke from Studio Ghibli, well that is what one of the passages aboard the ferry explained to him._

_So many Myths and tales had wrenched their way into my mind that the desire for a spiritual experience had lured me here. The hikes had been splendid and the many cabins I stayed during my week there had gave me the inspiration for my restaurant._

_On a particular night, I sat at the threshold of the cabin, looking out into the night. The highland where it was built provoked the area to be rather cold to the point I could see the air my lungs didn't deemed necessary anymore. It was dark, a type of darkness I've never experienced before. The canopy concealed the sky completely and even though a few strands of moonlight streamed from certain places the truth was that it didn't washed away the inky void before me. It was relaxing and at the same time frightening._

_I heard a story before leaving Miyanoura a few days back to explore the island. Sprites were always watching, seizing you up, getting a feel of your soul. If it deemed your worthy enough they would allow you to pass, providing safe passage on your journey until you decide to get out of the island. Usually they felt your soul in a way that you could actually feel it and that night, in utter darkness, I felt my soul warming up inside my body. Maybe it was the exhaustion finally taking its toll on my body or maybe those stories were true and he was being tested by the spirits of the forest. The Mainlanders also explained to me that they usually let them go whenever a person was close to meeting their soulmates that part I did not believe. I already met my soulmate, I already shared my life with my soulmate so I opted to believe more the first half of the story._

_When morning came, and I woke up, I found two white bloom on the nightstand. I placed them both inside this journal to remember than the spirits had found me worthy of walking their lands…_

_That or someone in this island had fun with spooking the tourist._

_The purpose of this entry was…_

_Hold on, I'm still trying to figure it out._

_-Robin._

_|xXx|_

Something in her chest cracked.

Her heart rate seemed to lower as her mind began making sense of the view before her. Everything moved in slow motion. Echoes of words bounced from the walls into her ears, every other sound muffled, hollowed out into nothingness.

The sight didn't surprised her, the sound didn't filled Regina with bewilderment like it probably should. Still, her body shuddered at the idea of Robin actually doing what Cora Mills was demanding of him, just like many people before him had. Yes, before it might have not mattered, and yes she would have moved on and the empty space in her chest would widen even more.

But this time it was different.

This time the thought of losing someone (two people at the same time in completely different circumstances) precious did send a ripple of emotions stirring in her heart, her soul, causing even the disinfected air of the hospital turn poisonous.

Everything still moved slowly, her pulse faint beneath her skin, a dull ache in her head. She could pretend that this conversation never reached her ears and hope that Robin wouldn't walk away.

But Regina has learned a very important lesson throughout her entire life.

Hope is a dangerous notion.

It fills you up with dreams of happiness, elevate you high to unreachable skies, and rich rainbows. Made you believe that goodness actually exist in this tumultuous world. But when push comes to shove it rear the ugly reality of it, hard, so hard it makes it impossible to ever hope again. And if there was a lesson Regina has learned from the queen of frost was this,

You have to grab the bull by the horn and get it over with. And if you bleed out on the cold cobblestones of life, then it is your own fault.

Finally, regaining the feelings on her limbs, Regina made a quick motion with her head. She managed to take a step forward, greedily breathing while her right hand grasped the edge of Robin's jacket she was wearing trying to will this situation away even though it was an impossible task.

"She's gone, Robin." The words left her mouth in a low timber almost as a whisper as she moved her gaze torturous and slow to the door where her mother had exited and then back at him. It seemed impossible to believe for him that a mother could be so cruel with their own kin. No doubt because his own mother was sweet and kind with him. She envied that, envied everyone whose mother had a heart of gold. Though thinking about Robin and his family, she is glad he hadn't face hardships with them. Though the ink bleeding in his journal at the loss of the  _love of his life_ had told Regina that no one can escape the claws of pain no matter all the good you might have in your life.

Love, he already had love. Just like she had. Maybe it was cruel to make herself believe that something could happen between them. Turns out she has a nack for self inflicted pain.

Robin looked like hell. She put him through hell. "Is she always like that?"

She wanted to laugh.

Cora always been so cold, uncaring of her feelings. She remembers a time in which she was like that with Zelena as well. Her older sister did resent her but time turned that resentment into ambition and well the difference between both Mills spawns is quite huge. "Pretty much." Was all Regina was able to reply. As cold ant like feeling crawled over her skin and face. He was looking at her like she had grown a second head. There was something on the tip of his mouth, words that  _shouldn't_ come out. This parting should be quick, swift like a blade against the throat. "Don't worry I can take a cab." Regina managed to say as steadily as possible. Did she inched closer or did he? She couldn't tell, everything, faces, sounds, actions had become a blur. The only thing she was aware of was her hand slowly taking off his jacket. The pine and snow and wood scent hitting her with force, willing her to not do this but she couldn't subject Robin into the piranhas that was her sister and mother.

"Don't worry. I'm used to people leaving me because of her."

There was something feral and broken in his gaze. A combination of raw and pure anger and desolation in its wake. Whether it was directed at her or at her mother, Regina couldn't tell. But the energy rippled out of him in waves and for a moment she couldn't breath, not as her arm rose to him, jacket in her grasp tight, showcasing her knuckles in deep white and a unyielding resolve to let go, to free him from the curse that would surely befall him if he stick around. They were close but their might as well be an endless chasm between them as she beheld his face probably for the last time.

He wanted to talk.

His mouth had opened and close a few times, words lead on his tongue like lingering feelings become rock in her heart. It took so much will power to tell him to forget everything and give this a shot but she knew better than to disregard all sense of preservation.

In order for him to find happiness he needed to leave her side, forever.

She took in his eyes before she spoke words she will forever regret, words that were there but never made it out of her mouth. His hand around her wrist burned, bringing her out of her stupor, the daze she had willingly fallen into the moment she saw them, Robin and Cora speaking.

Everything, absolutely everything fell around them as his lips connected with her.

Every thought went liquid.

Every doubt turned to ash and flew into the wind, away from her.

It was just him and his lips that breathed life into her.

Like fire thawing ice.

Like water feeding the withered rose in her chest.

For a moment, a flicker of a second, Regina's watched sparks fly behind her eyes the moment she closed them.

His arms snuck around her waist, pulling her closer and the strong hold she had on his jacket lessen until the jacket fell onto the floor and her arms went around his neck.

When she was smaller, she remember something her older sister told her, about first kisses. They sweep you off your feet. Made you feel like you're soaring through the sky and warmth curls all around until the cold grip of reality becomes nothing more but a brittle distant memory that hold zero sway within yourself. When she kissed Daniel for the first time it was sweet and tentative and adoring but this, Robin it was exactly like Zelena had once explained and so much more.

It was dying and reviving every second of every minute.

The moment Robin pulled back, her eyes still closed, lips parted, he breathed in the space between them. "Don't dare push me away." He whispered, pressing his cool forehead against her. "I don't scare easily." Robin explained and Regina opened her eyes to see in his the bravery which he spoke off. The brunette released a little nervous laugh, taking the first, real, breath that actually settled well in her lungs. Swift and clear her vision ran over his handsome face. His eyes were beautiful, then again blue had always been her favorite color for some reason and tonight she finally knows why. Blue was the color of the endless sky and sea, endless possibilities at the reach of her hand, endless hope that swept her heart away. Looking into Robin's eyes felt like that, love, and freedom and some many things impossible to describe.

And she liked it.

Her heart had picked up it speed, warmth spreading from fingers and toes all around her body until it settled in the middle of her chest. "You are an idiot." She replied with a bit of a smile. Robin looked at her with his very own smirked and said, "Hopefully I'll be your idiot."

The grin on her face spread even more.

"What does this mean?" The brunette asked, running her fingers over the back of his neck, occasionally running over his hair, her breathing less hectic and more calm. Indeed that was the question. For him to stay meant declaring war on Cora. The woman doesn't like it when people don't heed her  _friendly_ unsolicited advices. Regina has too many memories of all the things her mother had done when someone refused to her. The thought of Robin being at the end of her wrath made Regina shudder inwardly. "My mother can be a thorn to anyone's side."

Robin pouted a bit, a thinking habit and relented with a sigh. "Luckily for her I can be quite as annoying."

The brunette snorted a laugh, peace finally filling all the crevices where darkness had loomed earlier.

"You are even more beautiful when you smile. Don't lose it, okay? Not for her, not for anybody else. No one else should dim your smile and worth, especially as long as you know you are worth than your problems and struggles." Locksley pushed a strand of her behind her ear, thumb grazing the skin beneath her ear.

Regina's heart trembled but not the usual angsty feeling was causing it. It was him, his words. The rawness and sincerity was something she did not expect to hear. Sure, she was used to reading it on his journals, the way he poured his heart out like it was bleeding out, but it was different to listen to his voice, the timber, the accent enveloping hopeful words. It was a soft caress to her soul.

Gods she did not know she need it that.

"Robin…" She whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears, these happy ones. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

"Always my pleasure." He replied back, pressing a chaste kiss on her lips.

In that moment everything felt alright.

|xXx|

After a few minutes of centering herself in front of the door to his father room, Regina finally walked in, alone. Robin decided to go home and take a shower with the promise of that food he had cooked for her and something more comfortable to wear. She is sure he'll enlist Belle´s help for that. The brunette closed the door behind her, Robin´s jacket warding her from the cold. She had forgotten how bloody cold these rooms were and was glad that Robin returned her his jacket.

He wasn't getting it back now.

Mills eyes swept over her father's sleeping figure. He looked so peaceful that she did everything in her power to not wake him up. Careful steps at taken by her, hands inside the jacket's pocket. Regina lowered herself on the chair she was previously seated on when Cora came in an hour ago.

An hour ago that woman had scared the shit out of her.

It all seemed like a lifetime ago. Regina sighed softly, weariness starting to settled in her body, her bones like heavy stones. She needed to rest, to sleep for an entire day if that was possible but she knew well that wasn't going to happen as long as her father as still bound to a hospital bed. Hopefully the next day they will get a date for his release and she'll be here waiting for it. There was no way her mother would take him into that house, it wasn´t a home any longer.

"You are a rather loud thinker." The soft voice of her father came, startling her a little bit. Her expression soften upon noticing his eyes.

"So I keep hearing." The brunette replied, leaning forward and grasping his hand. "How are you feeling?" He grimaced a little as he sat up and Regina was quickly shooting up to aid him in his effort. The man just undergo serious surgery and here he was trying to move like nothing happened.

Stubborn.

"I'm fine, Regina. No need to fuss over me." He reached for her hand and squeezed it softly to convey the sentiment of his words. Even so, Regina couldn't just stop worrying about his condition. The last few hours had been stressful and that stress had a vice like grip on her heart. Cora's visit only managed to tighten it up more, if that was even possible. At this rate her heart would just shatter into dust. Henry had certainly read the expression in her face because his other hand reached for her cheek, softly motioning for his daughter to look into his eyes. "I'm serious, Sweetheart. The worst has passed. You need to relax, for my sake."

Lip was entrapped between her lips, a nervous action of Regina's, her eyes sweeping over her father's face. A bit of cuts and bruises stood out but he was here with her, he was alive and she couldn't help, finally, releasing a short breath of relief. "I know…" she muttered, sitting back down though her hand was still being held by her father. "I almost lost you, daddy." Pure rawness enveloped her voice. The type of rawness that made her look almost childlike as her eyes shone with all the emotions that were certainly running skin deep, piercing the very existence of her soul. Losing the one person that always been there was a notion she'd never entertain until death knocked on the door and almost broke through. She couldn't even imagined what would be of her if he ever left her forever.

"I still have a few years to kick around the ball." Henry said with a smile that looked more like a grimace thanks to the wound around his face but his eyes did have that lightness that his words spoke off and she finally allowed to relax and accept that he is fine. Regina smiled for the first time since she walked into the room and allowed herself to bask in the fact that her father was still alive and well, sure it will take some time for him to get back to his regular life but at least she'll be around to make sure that he is indeed well with time.

"Just don't scare me like that ever again." Regina almost pleaded, though this time her voice had returned to the normal timber she always had.

He smiled sadly, lifting her hand to kiss the back of it. "I can only control my actions, not what happens around me. If I overthink every step I take, I won't go very far." Somehow that felt more for her sake than his but she did not battle on his wordplay, at least she tried not to. His eyes were on her, daring her to fight them. There was more he needed to say, words just wanting to burst out and envelope her. She could just ignore him, not say anything and just move on from the topic, but she knew her father well and he would always find a way to speak them up. In some ways Robin was just like her father and she had the faint idea that was the reason they connected the first time they've met. She is happy that they get along quite nicely, but somehow that certain friendship will, from time to time, annoy her.

She can't find fault in that.

"There's nothing wrong with taking some precautions though." She replied back, baiting her father. Whatever he was about to say, whatever unsolicited advice (not really unsolicited, she is in need of something since her mother made a grand entrance into her life again) died when the door to the room opened revealing Robin. He looked nice in simple clothes and wet hair. Regina thought he would take more time to return but her he is and she dared to think that was because he couldn't stay away from her.

Maybe that wasn't so much wishful thinking like she thought. The man in question stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and released a bag he had right beside her. "Sorry if Belle's clothes aren't you still. At least I brought you comfortable shoes. I imagine those heels must be killing you…"

Actually she hadn't thought about the shoes at all, not until he said it and the pain that was hidden in the midst of her worries and grief had made a triumphal entrance making her legs hurt. "Thank you for this." She muttered picking up the bag, Regina then stood up. "I'll go an change now. Robin, can you please make sure my father takes it easy? I have the slight feeling that he just might run out of this room." At that, Robin released a short laugh but nodded nonetheless. "I'll try my hardest." He said and Regina grinned a little. With one last looked at her father, one that seemed to say that he should behave, the brunette then headed to the bathroom that was through the door on the far end of the room.

The moment she stepped inside, the first thing Regina did was take off her dreadful shoes. They were beautiful and made her calf looked amazing but they didn't exactly pass the comfort test. The only reason she had worn them was because she was to be seated, eating and enjoying Robin's company. She kicked them to the side, and then began taking off the skin tight dress she had on. As she took it off, Regina felt like a snake shedding. For the past few months all she had worn were jeans, and shorts, tank tops, and normal tops. A while there she had forgotten to dress properly, or as properly her mother deemed so. Imagined her mother's face if she had seen Regina wearing cargo short, a black top and boots? Oh, she could imagined her face and it oddly brought amusement to Regina. Shaking her head, because really she was getting distracted by the smallest of things, Mills took out the clothes that Robin had brought. Jeans, a white long sleeve shirt and some sneakers. The shoes she didn't like but it wasn't the time to be picky. He had gone through the trouble of getting her something comfortable to wear and to that she was grateful. Once done dressing, Regina looked at herself in the mirror and frowned.

She looked worn out.

The makeup was all messed up and she swore under her breath,quickly opening the faucet to clean her face. Took a while, but she done it and when she looked at herself again, she still looked exhausted but at least now she didn't have black streaks down her face. Once she picked up her clothes and placed them inside the bag she turned to the door only to stop when she heard Robin and her father talking.

"How's everything?" Her father asked. Regina heard the shuffling of feet on the other side of the door, and she could imagined Robin shifting this way and that. Thinking about his answer, picking the words carefully like he always did. The good thing about reading someone's journal was that you could broadly imagined how a person would act just by the words they write. In Robin's case, it was almost like a melody. A song written as the seconds ticked by. Mysterious, alluring with that touch of inspiration that accompanied the notes of a piano. He was like a piano, that was the best way to describe him. Complex, but beautiful not only on the outside but inside as well. "Oddly enough, well." Robin chuckled, adding. "Certainly not lost anymore."

To that she smiled. As someone who had known his struggles, the ones read not told, Regina is genuinely happy to hear that he is doing better.

"That's good." Henry replied with a groan, no doubt shifting as he sat up. "I told you that change isn't a bad thing." He pressed on and this time she didn't hear him grunting. "As long as your heart is in the right place."

"Is that what you tell, Regina?" Robin asked and she swore her heart stopped for a whole second.

Henry chuckled, and she felt like her stomach ease dropping into an endless pit of stomping animals. "My daughter isn't as easy to get through like you." She bite her lip, listening closely this conversation she should be eavesdropping on. Well if they didn't want her to overhear they wouldn't be talking about her while she was literally on the other room? "She has quite the one tracked mind sometimes."

Robin hummed his agreement. In another moment she would have been furious for him assuming such a thing but after her display earlier that evening thanks to her mother, Regina can't find it in herself to be angry at Robin. She had been ready to push him away if that meant protecting him. But today she had learned an important lesson, not everyone needs protection, not everyone needs to be sheltered. Robin, he had gone through a lot without her adding more pressure into his life, her mother was certainly a pressure that robs you of air, and traps your heart in poison ivy and vine traps but he was determined to go through the craziness with her.

She cannot lie, it was nice to have someone else on her corner.

The brunette shook her head, taking a deep breath and pushed the door opened. Both man looked at her, and Mills couldn't tell they felt guilty for talking about her when she was on the other room or because they were talking about her at all. Regina placed the backpack beside the nightstand and then turned to Robin with a little grin etched onto her lips. "Thanks for the change of clothes." Might as well leave them wondering what she thought about their little conversation. Then, she turned to her father, gaze then falling on the analog clock on the wall. It read three am, and she sighed. "You should be sleeping." She pointed to the clock, her father following the path her finger opened. He huffed, ready to place a formal complain but she didn't allowed him to do so. "You can talk about me and my one tracked mind later. Rest now." The brunette kissed his forehead and smiled. "I'll see you in the morning." Resigned, Henry lay back down, closing his eyes.

Regina grabbed Robin's hand and pulled him out of the room, turning off the light overhead before closing the door behind them. She released a long breath, half turning to Robin in the process. "You should rest as well." He pointed out and well she was super tired, her body ache and she was pretty much still hungry. Regina remembered he brought her food and that made her smile. "Ill rest later, right now I'm hungry." She looked at his other hand, that he brought up, a paper bag full of the food he had prepared for their date but didn't managed to eat. "Why do you say if we continue this date?"

At that she looked ready to play soccer or baseball but a date? She looked at her clothes and grimace. "I don't look like I'm properly dressed for a date, not anymore." Robin's head moved from side to side, a chuckle being released.

"Nonsense." He simply stated, taking her hand and tugging at it. They walked down the hallway. The white walls were rather imposing as they moved. Blur lines all around and Regina wondered if her hunger pale in comparison to the tiredness that was slowly bleeding out of her. It had been such a stressful evening, between Katherine, the accident and her mother, Regina was reading to drop on her bed and sleep the rest of the week away. It seemed like a good idea, and she wanted to voice it out if it wasn't because Robin stopped right in front of the stairwell that lead to the roof.

"Won't we get in trouble?" She questioned with an arched brow to which he responded by kissing her forehead and pulling her up the stairs. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke. "A little adventure never killed anyone." Regina rolled her eyes. Books and movies would suggest otherwise but fiction has nothing to do with them at the moment. She kept the retort in the back of her brain, slowly dissolving into nothingness. They walked and walked and her legs were starting to tremble but they got to the roof just in time, she was about to complain how she hates cool air made her lungs expand. She breathed easily now, and Gods she didn't know how much she needed to get out of those white walls.

"Better?" Robin's voice startled her, a hand coming to rest on her chest. For a moment she forgot that she wasn't actually alone. It surprised her to no end.

"Much." She replied, finally feeling like herself, or the new self she created these past few months. Regina really likes who she had become. Adventurous, new but most importantly free. Freedom was something so hard to achieve but she is on her way of breaking all of her chains, just a little more.

"Your mother…" He began. Regina flinched. He noticed her reaction for he didn't continue the rest of that sentence, didn't dare to ruin the fresh air she had just breathed in with such greed.

"My mother is a witch you already knew that." Regina tilted her head to the side, watching him carefully. Most runnings with her mother don't end up well. Usually she follow through with her threats and Regina was quite worried for Robin. Cora is most likely gonna attack him in some way. The woman doesn't take well 'no' for an answer. The need to push this marvelous man away was strong but she couldn't. She likes him, needs him in her life. It wasn't like she couldn't live or breath without him, she needed the lessons he could teach, she needed his friendship, his fresh outtake in life but most importantly, he needed someone fearless in her life to motivate her to be fearless as well. Fears had ran her life, fears had stopped her from doing a lot of things but reading about Robin's adventures, reading that albeit his fears he moved on, and gradually erase them from his life. This wasn't about depending on a man to live, this was depending on a friend, a soulmate, an angel, to moved on and overcome all the obstacles that will surely be thrown into her life.

"Is she like that with your sister?"

Interesting question. She was but with Zelena, for some reason, Cora had a bit more tolerance. "Yes but she is the favorite so she get free passes from time to time." Unlike her. Every aspect of her life was under the scrutinizing magnifying glass. From her choice of clothing to that single pound she gained, the choices in man and in career. Her mother was hell bent against her relationship with Daniel and apparently now Robin. Though Regina doesn't even know what Robin and her have, but she enjoyed the bubbling feeling that came with this brand new territory she was stepping into. "I suppose she appreciates the daughter that completely transformed herself to be like her." Regina did tried once. Tried to fit the mold Cora Mills was trying to shape for her but it all felt truly wrong. In that moment Regina realized that she had a conscious, a voice telling her that all she was trying to do was wrong, not only for the world in wide but for herself as well.

Robin took a measured step towards her, extending a hand to Regina, a peace offering. "You wanna know what I think?" He asked and the brunette tilted her head to the side, taking his hand in the process. "I think that you dodge a bullet when you decided to be yourself and not what your mother wanted you to be." His grin illuminated his face, her heart felt lighter. "Mum once told me that the only role a parent has, other than to give love, is to guide their kids. You were given a rotten mother but a marvelous father and you followed the best example you had in your life."

She really never thought about it that way. Regina had been too busy in her depression to see that, subconsciously, she was leaning towards her father more to protect herself from the obscure reality her mother's shadow casted. Maybe it was because being loved by her father had stopped her from taking that last step to completely be lost. Yes, she had been in a world of pain for a very long time but Henry was the last tether that kept her afloat. If she didn't have him, God knows where she would be at the moment. Certainly not on the hospital rooftop talking to Robin. "Do you really believe that?" Even though it made sense, in some ways it felt like a far stretch.

"I do." Robin responded without missing a beat. "Why do you think your mother wants to take him to her house instead of allowing you to take care of him? The more time you spend in a positive environment the less chances you have to become like her."

Oh, she did not make that connection before. Regina always thought that all of this was to torture her, and maybe it had a little bit of that but Robin's words made sense in a way. Her mother was smart, scary smart, and all her life she had been trying to strip Regina of what makes her a good human. She almost succeeded and now Cora is trying her luck once more. Taking her father away, trying to push Robin out of her life, Regina wouldn't put it past her mother that she was the one to actually suggest Kathryn to be the attorney appointed to the case. It was all so overwhelming that even her stomach shut up, killing her appetite. "I've already told her I have no interested in becoming a copy of her." How many times did she say that? How many time she had declared to her mother that there was no way in this lifetime and the next where Regina would treat other humans like Cora did? So many times, and so far she had stand by her word. But her mother is a stubborn as a mule, tonight was proof of that. She looked up at Robin, squeezing his hand softly. "You still have a chance to leave you know…" Regina took a step towards him. There was little distance between them.

"And I've already told you I'm not leaving." The brunette smiled at his response, "I got you something…" At that her brows furrowed. He put his hand inside his back pocket and got out a folded envelope. He opened it with a gentleness that had her breath hitching and took out something white, a flower. It looked really old, and was pressed flat like it had spent a lot of time inside a book. Which made her remember the last thing she read in his journal.

"Is that the flower you got in Japan?" She asked and he nodded. Robin took her hand and flipped it so her palm would be facing up. He placed the flower in her hand and grinned.

"You know I didn't believe what the mainlander said at first. That the sprites would allow me to go because I was about to meet my soulmate. I was in denial. Marian was still so fresh in my mind, in my heart." With his free hand, Robin touched Regina's cheek and she blushed furiously. What he had just implied made an entire zoo play around her stomach. "But the day I met you I knew it. I knew you were my soulmate. It was like a portion of my soul recognized you and said: 'Hey there you are, I've been looking for you.' That's why I can't just walk out of this, whatever it is. Friends or more, whatever, I just want you in my life and I hope you want me in yours, Regina." His smile so sincere and beautiful. His eyes filled with truth and excitement. Regina couldn't believe that he just actually declared himself in such a way. Under the moonlight and stars —The little that can be seen thanks to the illumination of the city— even the cold breeze turned warm or maybe it was her body flushing all together. Her eyes dropped to the flower in her hand. Proof that he was worthy to walk among the spirits of the forest, and now he was handing it to her, proof that he wants to be worthy of her. The meaning behind this gesture had Regina's eyes slowly filling with tears.

"Robin…" She looked up and his eyes were shining with mirth, with something more she can't explain but feel in the very deeps of her bones.

"You don't have to say anything." He was quick to reassure and she was glad because her brain stopped functioning a moment ago. All of this was romantic and she almost forgot that their date was interrupted by her father almost dying. "Just know that I am here for you, always."

And in that moment Regina knew exactly what it felt like to float, because oh boy her heart certainly had her soaring.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I took a while to post this but I'm finally done. Maybe this will finally kickstar my muse for my other stories. As you might know (or don't) I've decided to finish all my OQ stories and not start new ones. What that means I am 4 stories away for me to retire from Fanfic writing and focus on original work. Yes, it will take a while but i've made up my mind. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter.

  
_February 14, 2011._  
  
_Valentine’s day is here but I’ve never really enjoyed this day. Some may say it is because I’ve grown up hearing my family bitching about it. It wasn’t like they were at war and love was their enemy. Or maybe it was more about the commercialization of that day. In the Locksley clan, love was something to be proven every single day, to be felt with the very essence of one’s being. It was about true commitment, magic and but most importantly honesty. Because there was some dishonest about February 14._  
  
_It didn’t mean it wasn’t enjoyable. Well after meeting someone who made everything more bearable._  
  
_I remember my first Valentine’s day with Marian. Now, she was the example of a complete freak for that day. Marian had some high standards about it. Flowers, chocolate, candles, moonlight the whole package and I was genuinely surprised by her enthusiasm. It was contagious. So, for the next few years of our relationship, I went above and beyond to make her happy. Seeing her smile was the brightest spot of my life and I never really wanted to dim that beautiful smile, but life had other plans and it snuffed that light out of my life forever._  
  
_Some may say that’s a recipe for complete disbelief in love and for a while I truly believed that. Something that used to make me the happiest being on the planet, is making a mockery of my heart, and I’m pretty sure that my story isn’t the only one like that. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like Marian. I don’t think I’ll ever be excited about Valentine’s day like, Once upon a time, I was._  
  
_As I roam this earth, seeing the beauty in it, surrounding myself in the positive energy of nature, I don’t feel like I need love, rather I don’t need someone in my life to feel complete. I had that and was happy while it lasted and I’m truly happy I got to experience that kind of love. Some people aren’t that lucky, some people don’t ever experience that one true love that can ignite your soul, your very existences and splash it with colors. In Marian, I had found and embraced what it means to love. I had realized that even as silly day as the fourteen, one can find enjoyment, regardless of how frivolous it is._  
  
_If you once lived a great love, you are the lucky one._  
 _If you once gave your heart away and was treated with warmth and kindness, you are the lucky one._  
 _If you allowed yourself to fully feel, from your heart to the mare in your bones, you aren’t just lucky, you are blessed and maybe even smart._  
  
_Smart because you expanded, broke through the molds that make us humans. So, take pride, even if after a loss you cannot smile or feel fully anymore. Just remember, pain is just a reminder that you are alive, and if you are alive then you can hope. Even if it takes you a while to get there._  
  
_\--Robin Locksley._  
  
  
..::..  
  
There’s a ninety percent chance that he might be in love with Regina Mills. Might, replace it with ‘is’ and yes, he is. It was stupid, or he was being stupid or clueless or whatever you want to call him but the first moment he laid eyes on her, he knew that his life had changed forever. What was truly funny about all of this was the fact that a few years back he didn’t think something like this could ever occur to him. It wasn’t like with Marian. There were innocence and light all around. With Regina, there are shadows with a long history of pain. They resonance with his, the ones he gained after losing what he had thought to be his only chance in love but now look at him.  
  
He is in love.  
  
Robin suspected it for a while, but it was only confirmed that night in the hospital when her mother was trying to drive him away from her daughter and something in his chest seem to fracture at the thought. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t just walk away because the woman had some sort of issue with her daughter being happy. He could have walked away and hope that pain in his chest would eventually go away, even Regina made it easy for him to step back but something deep within his soul told him that no he couldn’t leave. This was where he belongs and after going around searching for a place where he could finally feel the sense belonging, he had found it by gazing into Regina’s eyes. If that wasn’t love, finding a home, then he didn’t have a clear answer as to what was Regina and him.  
  
The question was, how can he be in love when they met not so much ago?  
  
Something between them clicked the moment they met of that he had zero doubts but there was something else about her that spoke volumes to his soul. When he talked about her with Mal, Robin learned that throughout her entire life, Regina had been marginalized by her mother. Having a preference on Zelena over the youngest Mills because she didn’t have the drive to become a heartless person. He couldn’t quite envision Regina being someone who didn’t care about anything else except herself. After meeting Henry Mills, Robin was sure where her big heart came from. A heart hit and battered and squeezed to the breaking point where her mind felt addle by the wrongdoings done to her beating organ. Still, there was a resilience to her, an untapped power brimming inside her just begging to be released. The moment she does, she will shine in ways no one would think possible and he wants to be there at her side, providing comfort and support whenever she needs it without interfering in her path to greatness. Yes, she may not see it, she may not be able to look at herself through his or Mal’s eyes for that matter, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t try to find a way to reflect everything back to her. If only magic mirrors were real.  
  
“Robin?” A rich, melodious voice filtered through his thoughts, causing him to lift his gaze from the counter to his sister face, Belle. “You’ve been distracted.”  
  
And sure, thinking about Regina can honestly distract anyone. Locksley laughed rather nervously, which was strange even for him, and decided that there was no point in going through this month budget when his mind was elsewhere. “My apologies.” Robin closed the black book, sliding it his sister’s way. “Perhaps it is best if you are the one to go through the numbers. I’m afraid that as I am now I might make a mistake.” The last thing they needed if he was being honest with himself. Ever since Kathryn Midas visit him – the memory of jealous Regina caused a rousing in his stomach – he had been having this insane bad feeling that the worse was yet to come. True, Regina had warned him, had even explained to him their MO but still, there was something grinding at his side, something he did not like at all. Keeping an eye on the slightest of details was imperative.  
  
“Yes, I can see that.” Belle took the black book. “This has nothing to do with Regina by any chance.” Though the playfulness behind her words said that she knew it was exactly that and Robin couldn’t, for the life of him, stop the smile that spread across his lips. Just the thought of her had the man feeling like a complete fool, a teenager in love who just looks for her smile in every song. Like a song, he heard a long time ago ‘A melody sounds like a memory’ and that’s exactly how he feels whenever Regina’s name pops around. “Valentine’s day is around the corner you know…”  
  
Robin’s gaze faltered for a moment, enough for his sister to start wanting to apologize but he didn’t allow her to do so. “Don’t.” He raised his eyes to her, a smile still plastered on his lips. “You don’t have to apologize. I have actually been thinking about Valentine’s day too.” Which isn’t normal for him, not before Marian and definitely not after her. It was no secret he didn’t like this date but this year he is actually planning something, well trying to plan something. He isn’t the most romantic man on the planet, big gestures were something that always got lost in him, so he was truly stuck when it came to this date. “You know I don’t have a romantic bone in my body.”  
  
Belle actually laughed to which Robin replied with a ‘huh’. “You are kidding right?” She rose an incredulous brow his way. “This is coming from the man who closed the restaurant for a night to fill it with candles and cook for his date.”  
  
One-point Belle, zero Robin.  
  
“That’s without adding your writing. It is like reading a life poem.”  
  
Two Belle, zero Robin.  
  
“That’s different.” Robin countered, and his sister scoffed.  
  
“How is it different?” The accent went heavy with every one of her words. “You did something that came from your heart. Something you felt to the very core of who you are. I think that’s romanticism, your brand I suppose.”  
  
And another valid point. Boy, his sister was on fire today; but Robin couldn’t quite disagree. He went in without considering what he was doing, and even though the night took quite the turn – with Regina’s father in the hospital and her mother wanting to drive him away from her life – they had a good night. Sitting on the hospital rooftop simply talking about their travels and comparing notes, Robin had never felt more at ease like in that very moment. That was probably the moment he finally realized he loved her, truly it was that moment. “I did that didn’t I?” It wasn’t a question.  
  
“Yes,” Belle answered anyway. “I haven’t seen you this happy in a while. It suits you.” The blonde – he still cannot believe she dyed her hair – reached for his hand and squeezed it softly. “If you can’t come up with something I’m sure Mal would help you out.”  
  
“Help with what?” They both turned to the third voice, Mal standing there with a huge smirk on her lips.  
  
“It is like calling for the Devil,” Robin said shaking his head, biting back a laugh.  
  
“I prefer Mistress of evil, but I’ll respond to Devil or Satan if that’s your kink now.” She took the seat right beside Belle, both woman in front of him. For his part, he simply rolled his eyes, watching how they exchange greetings. “What can I help you with?” Mal asked with her earnest look his way. It didn’t feel right to him to ask the blonde’s help, even if she was friends with both, it was exactly because of her closeness to Regina that Robin didn’t want to put the blonde in the middle. No matter how much of a good idea it was. He was going to express just that, but Belle beat him to the punch.  
  
“Romantic ideas for Robin and Regina.” His dearest sister grinned sheepishly while he sent a glare her way.  
  
God, why is his sister meddling so much lately?  
  
“Your lack of love life is making you nosey,” Robin replied, crossing his arms. Now that he thinks about it, Belle hasn’t even mentioned any interest in a guy – or girl because he cannot just assume and because she made it abundantly clear about her attraction to both sex– and it is actually quite worrisome for him. Her last relationship was quite a torment ridden and well since then, Belle’s interest in anything remotely romantic had dwindled. In that aspect, they are quite similar. Maybe later he will set her up with someone. What were his options? Ruby, Anna, Will or Killian? Scratch that last one.  
  
“And you are overthinking things.” She shot back, her own glare glistening in her eyes. This had all the makings of a classic Locksley argument.  
  
“Shh, both of you.” Mal seemed to identify all the clear signs of this battle. Then the blonde turned to him. “Sure, I’ll help you out.”  
  
Robin stops his glaring enough to look at the blonde, other blonde his best friend, with a raised brow. “I didn’t ask for your help.”  
  
“But you clearly need all the help you can get.” To think that Mal was the type of person to get instantly annoyed whenever someone asked for her help (don’t get him wrong, the woman has the biggest heart he had seen in a person, but her rough, scale-like, exterior kept people at bay. It was her choice, not allowing people to catch a glimpse of what she is) but here she was, offering her help with no strings attached. Then again, they’ve gone through so much from the moment they met, and if the roles were reversed (because she absolutely loathes asking for help) Robin would be the one lending support. Declining her help wasn’t really an option because she was headstrong almost like a dragon.  
  
“You make it sound like I’m clueless.” It wasn’t entirely untrue. “But fine!” Robin groaned, shoulders rolling into a shrug. The triumphant smiles on both blondes were enough to make him roll his eyes and walkway from them. “Now if you excuse me, I have clients to attend to.” With that said he was more than ready to leave when a thought struck him. “Wait…” He turned to Mal with a frown on his lips. “Why are you here?” It was something he should have asked before she got the second act on annoying Robin extravaganza but of course, since he was too busy thinking about Valentine’s day plans (he had none) Robin actually forgot that Mal hasn’t been there all this time. Truly felt like it though.  
  
By the looked of her face, it would have seemed that she had momentarily forgotten the real reason for her visit but as quickly as that look came to her face it disappeared, replaced by the seriousness that identifies her.  
  
The seriousness that sometimes –most of the time—scares the shit out of him.  
  
Mal cleared her throat. “I am here to do a bit of a double agent work.”  
  
For a moment he was utterly confused as to what she was referring to. The gears in his head kept on shifting until everything clicked together an ‘ahh’ leaving his lips that was quickly followed by a frown. “Won’t you get in trouble?” But it was a stupid question, of course, she would. It was like walking on a tightrope, one false move and you’ll fall to certain doom. Mal was always too quick to help him, and he’ll always be grateful to her for continually wanting to lend a helping hand, but he worries about her as well. She’d fought long and hard to stand where she is today, on the mountaintop of her career and Robin wasn’t okay with him being the reason she could be knocked out of her place way up high. Not after everything the blonde had done to ensure that he is here today.  
  
“Only if I get caught.” The confidence wasn’t fake; it was one of her defining traits. Still, she must feel a little bit of fear. He certainly would. “I am not about to allow you to lose what given you purpose in life…”  
  
Oh…  
  
“You make it sound like I was completely lost.” Well… Which wasn’t completely inaccurate. He was, for a long time indeed lost but he believed to be doing a good job of faking smiles. Apparently, that wasn’t the case yet he felt like some part of him had been scrutinized by his best friend.  
  
“Don’t bullshit me, Robin.” And ouch. “You know damn well how you were even if you hate to admit it.”  
  
From beside Malorie, Belle agreed.  
  
Boy, this escalated quickly.  
  
“You never want to talk about it.” His sister chides in, standing up from her place at the bar. “Sooner or later you’ll have to let someone in, otherwise you’ll always have that shard of self-doubt stuck in your heart.” His younger sister released a short breath, moving to the podium at that entrance of the restaurant. It was almost noon and people were most likely about to begin filtering in. Walk-ins, reservations all was ready for them. It was just like Belle to walk away with the last word. Okay so not really, he could counter her, they were still close by but he didn’t have anything to refute what was said, Belle was right and he hated to admit it.  
  
“There isn’t much to talk about.” But there was still a lot weighing on his mind. “I’m better now. It is stupid to dwell on the past.” But he still thinks about everything in the nights, loses sleep because of it. His overactive mind out of the blue decided to tear him apart second by second. From his decision of traveling the world to find some sort of solace to the fact that someone else had read his journal (or is reading, Regina said she is taking her time with the journal and it excites him but at the same time makes anxiety bubble in his stomach). He doesn’t want to seem pathetic, really fights to be seen in another light but his anxiety has a strong pull on him, making friends with the depression he tries so hard to keep under lock and key.  
  
Somedays it is extremely hard.  
  
He puts on a battle face and tries to be brave but in reality, the battle is happening within, a place where not many people can just waltz right in. People have a specific idea of what a depressed person should look like. They never would guess that the person that smiles the most is hurting in unimaginable ways and Robin smiles a lot. That’s the thing about depression, it will manifest in a smile, in a warm hug or even in-kind words but inside you feel like slowly you are rotting away, and the atmosphere is getting contaminated by your presence. It is an uphill battle, one to be fought every single day and if you even consider dropping your weapons, darkness will attack at your most vulnerable and from every side. Depression is surprisingly heavy for something you can’t physically touch. Something he had to carry around with him, always, even though he never wanted to. The shadow that cast over his life made him feel always tired and unwillingly to take simple steps. It hung by a thread, too thin but always so dense and when that thread snapped, releasing the weight, it fell too fast and pinned him down to the point where it crushed his ribs making it impossible for him to breathe. Even if he felt like that most of the time, Robin had managed to control it because the moment the shadow wins, it was game over and that was the hardest part. Being strong sometimes wasn’t enough.  
  
  
“God, you sound just like Regina,” Mal muttered, releasing a shuddering breath that instantly caught his attention. Robin’s eyes rose from the emptiness he was staring at to the blonde whose eyes shone with worries. “When I met her she always seemed so composed…” Not the word Mal wanted to use, he could see in the way her lips pressed into a thin line after saying it but he couldn’t just put a parenthesis on whatever she wanted to say, there was a reason why she is walking down this path, there’s always a reason when it came to the blonde, so he’ll listen, see it play out until every piece is uncovered. “Just like you do right now.”  
  
Oh.  
  
“What are you implying?” But he knows without her even dignifying him with an answer. After all, this was the woman that picked the broken pieces and put them together to the best of her abilities. If it wasn’t for her and Belle, God knows where Robin would be right now. Certainly not having this discussion about his obsidian friend. Mal took pride (maybe not the right word) on identifying special traits that lead her to believe he was depressed. By the timber of her voice, he can deduce that with Regina was exactly the same. Thing was, Robin actually felt amazing. Ever since he met Regina his life had only improved. Not that he wasn’t in a good place before, with a little hard work Robin had managed to keep himself afloat but now with Regina, he felt like he was soaring through the sky. For the first time, he can tell his friend that she was wrong. “Actually, don’t answer that.” He followed up not so quick, but he did manage to insert his words before Mallorie actually thought of a reply. “I’m actually in a good, no, not good, amazing place right about now. I need you to trust that I will be alright.”  
  
Skeptical. Malorie looked absolutely skeptical and there was no blaming her. It wasn’t the first time he said something like that to her and it was all part of his process, but this was one of those times he was truly being honest. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because you seemed more chippered today.”  
  
He’ll take that.  
  
“Look, I know that I haven’t been the easiest person to deal with in the past decade…”  
  
“Understatement…” Malorie replied and well point taken.  
  
“But right now, I feel so much more in tune with my feelings and the world around me.” Releasing a shuddering breath Robin then wet his lips. “Asking for help isn’t my strongest quality but if the times come I will ask you if that’s okay.” This was one of the toughest things he had ever said. If there was something Robin disliked was pulling people into his spiral, especially people he cares for. His parents had been kept in the dark about his situation for a very long time, and he even tried that with Belle but his sister is clever, she noticed right away and enlisted Mal’s help. It had been a long, draining battle. His depression was a crafty foe and even though he complained and tried his best to show the colors he didn’t feel, the two women had been holding him, keeping him from drowning. It was because of them he actually managed to do all he had done till now. From moving on to traveling the world and seeing that everything wasn’t as bleak as it appeared. He can make the effort on actually going through with ‘asking for help’.  
  
The blonde kept looking at him intently, trying to decipher if he was lying or not. He didn’t make a habit of lying, she is well aware of that, but still, she wasn’t completely convinced. Nevertheless, Mal released a short breath of her own, nodding her head. “I’ll choose to believe you, for now.” A glint of amusement shone in her eyes. “I’m actually quite proud of you. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”  
  
“Understatement.” Robin shot back with a smirk.  
  
An eye roll from her part, playful at that. “But I know you are trying your best and that’s all I could ever ask for.” She took a step forward, placing a hand on his right cheek. He smiled feeling quite lighter at that moment. “I’ll always be here for you, whether you like it or not. You’re stuck with me, forever. Alright?”  
  
There was only honesty behind those words. Mal could only be described as his best friend, always there picking up the pieces of his broken self even when he didn’t feel worthy of her friendship. Even with all the pushing, he did to keep her at bay so the darkness surrounding him didn’t touch her, she never relented. Her tenacity and determination were so infectious that he stopped fighting her off altogether and began embracing her more. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.” And he meant it.  
  
Mal finally looked pleased. She lowered her hand, tilting her head in the process. “So…” She trailed off for a moment enough to cross her arms over her chest. “Valentine’s day.”  
  
Oh yeah, that. For a moment he had forgotten that this heavy conversation started off because of that day which makes him rethink the idea of actually celebrating but then he thinks about Regina and that thought becomes a dust in the wind. “I still have no clue.” Not entirely true. Something did come to mind, and it was thanks to their previous conversation. He’ll need help but first, he needed to plan it out perfectly.  
  
“You’re scrappy and romantic. You’ll figure something out.”  
  
To the untrained ear, that would sound highly condescending, but Robin knows better than that. He simply grinned with a shrug. “Remember you offered to help me out.”  
  
When she raised a brow his way Robin only laughed. One less thing to stress about. Locking that conversation into a titanium vault in his mind, Robin’s face turned a bit more serious, he hasn’t forgotten that his best friend is risking a lot for his sake. “Promise me you’ll be careful with your double agent shenanigans. I don’t want you risking everything you’ve worked so hard, especially for me.” Of the two of them, Mal handles stress better than him, but sometimes, once every red moon, the blonde’s bottled up stress blows up and no one should be in the vicinity, and he worries that between him and Regina –plus a few things in her life that aren’t going so well (which he makes the mental note to talk to her about) Malorie might not be able to handle it well.  
  
“Everything will be fine. You just worry about running this place. Regina and I will make sure you don’t lose this place.” Mal simply smiled, taking his hand. “Now I’m going back to the office. I just came to make sure that everything is going well.” Then she kissed his cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”  
  
Robin didn’t let go of her right away. Instead, he pulled her into a hug, scrunching his eyes tight. “Thank you.” Pulling back, he added. “I don’t know what would be of me if you weren’t around.”  
  
“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out.”  
  
He doesn’t even know why he needed those reassuring words, but they filled Robin with a peace that could only come thanks to having people that genuinely cared about him. A few years back he had this insane tendency of being well liked by everyone around him but with time Locksley came to realize that it wasn’t the number of people, it was their good hearts and he knew that only a handful of people were good from the bottom of their hearts, Mal being one of them. “Let us hope not.” Was his only answer as he finally let go of her completely.  
  
“Keep in touch and whatever you need for your romantic date with Regina let me know.” Mal picked up her things at the bar counter, a smile plastered on her face as she turned. The blonde took just one step before she stopped short, her shoulders tensing. “Shit.” The woman muttered, turning to Robin with pursed lips. Whatever she saw wasn’t good. “I don’t suppose there’s another exit.” And well it was his turn to frown.  
  
“Through the office.” He then crossed his arms. “Why?”  
  
Malorie took a step closer to him, all hush voices and furtive looks. “You know that guy Belle is talking to…” As sly as he good, Robin’s gaze shifted from Mal to the man in question. Nothing from that man stood out other than the fact that he was quite handsome if you were into the whole Mr. Grey shit. Because the man looked exactly like the guy from the Fifty Shades of Grey poster. Now that he thinks about it the resemblance was uncanny.  
  
“What you don’t like movie stars?” Robin questioned in a mischievous tone, Mal only reciprocating with an eye roll.  
  
“He may look like Jamie Dornan but that’s not him.” Another step closer. “That’s Graham Humbert.”  
  
Oh, ohhhh.  
  
Well, he did not see that coming.  
  
“What is he doing here?” Robin’s attention snapped back at Graham who was animatedly talking to his sister, well more like flirting if Belle’s tossing her hair back was of any indication.  
  
“What else?” She questioned like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Robin was too engulfed watching the guy to see Mal’s frown. “He is spying.”  
  
Well, that made sense. That guy has never visited before and he should know. Robin knows everyone that comes in and out. He prides himself on the amazing customer service he provides. So yeah, it was odd to see a new face hovering about. “Seems like longs lengths to go.” But after meeting Regina’s mother the other night and how she commanded him to leave her daughter be, the work environment Regina used to breath it doesn’t quite surprise him. It actually made him feel even more satisfaction to know that she managed to cut ties with such a toxic situation. That woman is strong as hell.  
  
“Yes, well they are tenacious.” Malorie just shrugged.  
  
“That’s one way to put it.” Arrogant, annoying, insane, egotistical, dick. Those were some of the more appropriate terms that came into Robin’s mind but now wasn’t the time to get on that. Right now, the most important thing was to show Malorie her alternative exit. “You know where my office is.”  
  
She took one step before turning to Robin again. “Don’t do anything stupid.” And then she was gone.  
  
Robin stood there watching his sister flirting with the man whose smile seemed too predatory for his taste. “For God sakes.” Locksley, without thinking about it too much (because over-thinking lead to inaction), walked up to the pair zero amusement in his face. “Good afternoon.” Robin deep accented voice caught the male’s attention whom simply smirked up at him. The words ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’ Didn’t sink all too well.  
  
“Afternoon.” The guy replied back, gaze falling once more on his sister and it rubbed at Robin the wrong way.  
  
“Belle why don’t you finish up the inventory.” His sister turned to him with a confused expression and even a bit of annoyance. “I’ll take care of things here and I’ll do your shift in the bar area.” That caused her face to change to something less murder-y to contentment. If there was an area she did not like to work was the bar.  
  
The blonde pivot a bit to look at the man across from them with a slight head tilt. “I’m sure my brother will accommodate you.” Then to Robin. “He came to make a reservation for tomorrow.” Locksley simply nodded and Belle, satisfied, left. Robin stood on the dais, the air awkward. Once he knew that his sister wasn’t within earshot, he, finally, beheld the other man.  
  
“You could have called to make a reservation.” Robin was quick to spit, not liking a bit the fact that this guy (it wasn’t solely because he was Regina’s ex and cheated on her) was in his restaurant.  
  
Graham put both hands in his pocket, eyeing Robin with amusement and faux seriousness. “I like to do everything in person. Keeps me human.”  
  
Robin couldn’t help it, he didn’t even try to, and he snorted out a laugh. “Sure, it does.” A beat, “What time did you need the reservation?”  
  
For a split second, the silence flooded in all mystery and cold air. The obvious tension between the both of them but instead of manifesting in the obvious crackling of energy capable of creating forest fires, it appeared in shrewd droplets of energies that touched carelessly, it might implode and cause great devastation. The realization down on Robin, as he watched Graham stance shift to something more relaxed, and his shifty eyes took everything around them, the guy was sizing Robin up. His own position altered into a more rigid posture, hands grasping both sides of the dais with enough force to turn his knuckles white. He remembers what Regina said about the guy currently in front of him, about his lack of respect for her emotions and deficiency in the patient. Robin feels for her. Feels because she didn’t have a more supportive chain of friends like he did, though he is glad that at least Malorie made a difference in her life. Still, it angers him even though it isn’t his place, it angers him even though the time for reclamation is since long pass. So, he won’t say anything about it, he can be cordial while providing the customer service that had given him pride and praise.  
  
“You have anything available for eight?” Graham's voice was low and less annoying from when he was talking to his sister a few moments ago. Good. Robin opened the planner that was always on the dais, flipping to the date he requested, down to the number eight and almost full except for one table, the VIP section. He still questions as to why in the world he allowed Belle convinced him to make such a section. It was always full of snobs who hadn’t worked a day in their lives depending on their trust fund. But his sister, as clever as always, pointed out it would be a good cash flow for the restaurant and that meant not closing down. As much as he hated to admit it, Belle was right. Which is why she is a bit more in charge of things than him. If he couldn’t hold the reigns (and it happened from time to time) Belle would have complete power over the place. He trusted her that much.  
  
“I got an empty table, the VIP section.” Locksley voice turned monotoned, which was extremely rare for a customer but better to be controlled than allowed the swell of emotions that are making a tornado of rage inside his chest.  
  
Graham, looking quite bemused, took out his hand to look at the very expensive watch he was wearing. After a second he finally looked up at Robin with a subtle nod. “That’s perfect. I’m sure my girlfriend will love it.” Locksley just assumed he was talking about Kathryn seeing as the woman would be the only reason why he was being here in the first place. This guy didn’t look like the type to live in such a modest neighborhood especially with those expensive clothes.  
  
Robin scribbled Graham’s name on the calendar. “You have yourself a reservation. Anything else I can do for you?” As he voice turned a bit more friendly, thinking that this interaction is just another business transaction, Robin allowed himself to relax a little, the strain in her hands slowly disappearing. Maybe he was overeating.  
  
“No that would be all.” A moment of silence before he began turning away. Only when he was at the door did Graham turned to Robin, a smirk upon his lips. “Send Regina my regards. I quite miss her.” And then, before Robin could even utter a single word Humbert was out and that anger that had been swelling in his chest managed to return with a vengeance.  
  
“Fucking Prick,” Robin said, a bit too loud for the person that was walking into the restaurant to hear. Embarrassed, Robin shook his head. “My apologies I wasn’t referring to you I was…” Get a hold of yourself Locksley. “A free meal on the house.” Quickly, Robin walked from behind the dais and began showing the couple their table, apologizing for the millionth time before walking to Belle who was just about finish bringing another patron his food. “The couple in table five, don’t charge them I might have been a bit too imprudent thanks to that prick you were attending before I took over.” There was a genuine surprise in his sister’s face but Robin just brushed it off. “I’ll explain later. I’ll be at the bar if you need me.”  
  
Did he spend the entire afternoon stressing about Graham Humbert visit? Yes. Was he happy to know he’ll get to see the man the next day? Not in the slightest.  
  
  
  
..::..  
  
  
  
  
“Hey, you busy?” When the text came in, Regina was about finish taking a shower. Her day had been spent taking care of her father who didn’t want to take his medicine or rest. Her stubbornness had to come from somewhere and today she finally realized it was from her father. By the time the man fell asleep, it was midnight and Regina felt like a human waste thanks to how tired she was. The shower had helped her relax and the only thing that was left was to finally lay down and sleep but Robin text came in and wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that the message went unanswered.  
  
“I was just about to lay down,” Regina replied back after putting on some comfortable pajamas and heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. She sat on one of the stools, sipping her water when Robin responded back.  
  
“So I had the honor of meeting Graham today.” Regina spat water after reading that, deciding to call Robin instead of texting back. He answered instantly.  
  
“Come again?” Regina jumped off the stool, grabbing a towel to clear all the water on the counter. Okay, so the meeting was inevitable, Kathryn had always been the type of person to rub things on Regina’s face but she wanted this meeting to be on her terms and now the bottle blonde bitch had thrown everything off balance. How did she underestimate how underhanded that woman can be? All Mills knows it won’t happen again. Why was she, even so, worked up to begin with? Ah yeah because after her breakup with Graham he showed her his true colors and they weren’t pretty. She worries for Robin.  
  
“Believe me I was as shocked as you are.” The tone, the accent had Regina’s heart racing. ‘Not now, heart.’ She inwardly chastises. After she was done wiping the counter, the brunette leaned against it with a deep sigh.  
  
“How did you even know it was him?” She is trying to piece everything together. For what she knew about Robin’s day, or how it was supposed to go, he was to be doing inventory and going through the numbers so everything would be clear if there was an audit to be done. Because that would have been her course of action. So the only place they could have met was in the restaurant.  
  
“Mal was here when he came in.” Locksley supplied. There was so much tiredness in his voice, it resounded with her for some reason. Maybe because they were both children of adversity and darkness and it was easy to make out another tired soul like hers. Still, she tried not to linger on that, there were matters that needed attending instead of over-analyzing every single second she spends or talks with Robin.  
  
“Why was Mal there anyway? She knows that as long as Midas is on this she can’t be seen around you.” Regina is quite aware this situation is less than ideal for the blonde but it was better this way. The last thing she wants is for Malorie to lose everything she worked so hard for and Regina is quite sure Robin feels the exact same way. They had agreed to protect Mal at all cost even if the blonde would make it impossible for them.  
  
  
  
“She wants to play double agent and I worry she might get caught.” Again that tiredness in his voice but this time the worry is more noticeable. Regina can’t really blame him for feeling that way, and she would be lying if she said she doesn’t feel like that as well. Even so, Mal was a stubborn as she was and convincing her to just drop it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. It will take a lot out of them to even get her to stop going to the restaurant. After all, it was her favorite place in the city.  
  
Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, releasing a short breath. What was she going to do about this? She has no clue but hopefully, when morning comes she’ll have some sort of plan. Emphasis on hopefully. “I’ll talk to her.”  
  
And Robin snorted into the phone.  
  
“I know, I know,” Regina muttered. “But right now I have no clue on what to do and Mal is impossible to get through unless you are being brass and I am honestly not in the mood for that.”  
  
“I think it is time for an intervention,” Robin suggested with utmost seriousness that had Regina holding in a laugh.  
  
“Sure, while we are at it we can intervene in her toxic relationship with the puppy snatcher.” This time Robin laughed and it was music to her ears.  
  
“Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks Cruella is bad for the health.” That was one way to put it.  
  
“She is a walking bottle of gin,” Regina replied with a chortle as she stood up and headed to the living room to sit down in her favorite armchair. The moment she did, Regina released a short sigh of relief. She was way too old to be sitting on the floor. She spent a few minutes there and her entire body was protesting. “Anyway, I’ll try talking to Mal and if it fails we can try an intervention. Just one thing…” She shimmy on the couch. “We are doing it in an empty room. Otherwise, she is gonna sink her claws into everything she finds and throws it our way.” It was obviously a joke.  
  
“Noted.” He replied. Regina heard some shuffling over the line and she assumed Robin was getting comfortable on the bed. “As to Graham, you know how I texted you this morning to go to the restaurant tomorrow night?” Regina doesn’t see the correlation between the both but she hummed her agreement nevertheless. “Well, he made a reservation for tomorrow in the VIP section at eight. So I wanted to give you the option of not coming because it might be uncomfortable.”  
  
Oh…  
  
That son of a bitch. So this is what Kathryn was up to.  
  
For a long minute, Regina sat there quietly, weighing in the words and the silence in her room. She isn’t a coward. Mills may have a lot of flaws and issues to work on but being a coward isn’t something she is known for. No matter what she always faced everything head on and that was a lesson learned from her father (her mother too as much she hates to admit it) Regina wasn’t about to give that blondie the satisfaction of seeing her hiding behind Robin. Not a chance. “That’s sweet of you but no. I am going.” There was a surge of power to those words. Like abolishing the oppression this situation had placed upon her. Felt nice to be in control of her mind and her emotions. “Should be fun.”  
  
Regina wished she could see his face. There was a static like energy brewing from his breathing. Made her skin crawl with excitement and amusement. There must be a smile on his face, can practically imagine it in her mind’s eye. She’ll take that. “Just a little reminder though…” He spoke up and Regina held her breath for a split second as he tied his sentences together. “Tomorrow is Valentine’s day.” She had forgotten completely about that. Mills doesn’t really celebrate that day. For some reason, she found it rather sexist and annoying. She found it hard to find the right words to tell Robin she doesn’t really celebrate that day. There was most likely an entry of it in his journal but she hasn’t really read it, maybe she should check. Then again they were in the process of establishing trust with one another and being honest was the best course of action. She steeled herself, taking a deep breath, mustering the courage to say something about before opening her mouth and… Nothing. Nothing came out because Robin continued on speaking. “Before you say anything else I thought you should know I don’t really celebrate it.”  
  
Ohh…  
  
She really wasn’t expecting that. It was great, right? So why does she feel disappointed? Dear God, was she turning into one of those mushy women who wanted all to be romantic? Snap out of it Regina. “Me either…” She mastered her disappointment making in it disappear like it was never there, to begin with, but she’ll know, she will always remember that sad little droplet disillusionment she felt at that particular moment.  
  
What now?  
  
“So I was thinking…” Robin pressed on and Regina couldn’t figure out where he was going now with this conversation. “You see, the entire day I’ve been thinking about what to do, even my sister and Mal said they would help but I didn’t know how exactly to go about it.” Regina shimmies even more on the couch until she was lying fully on the bed. He already said Valentine ’s day wasn’t for him and she shares that sentiment regardless of what she felt at the moment so why even bother to continue talking about it? It was sweet and all but at the same time, it was hitting her angry nerves.  
  
“Robin you don’t have to do anything for me, really. I was actually thinking about telling you that I don’t celebrate it.” She sounded so defensive that it made her inwardly cringe. “We are good.”  
  
“I know but…” Robin was answering with a calmness that she envied. “Hear me out and then you are more than welcome to shut me down. But fair warning, milady, I will be truly heartbroken if you say no…”  
  
There were excitement and allurement and all those things stupid love songs usually describe swirling inside of her. It occurred to her that Robin was trying to surprise her which triggered her pre-existing condition of fear in her. Surprises tended to be amiss in her life and even though Robin was an amazing, understanding human being, it didn’t deter her mind from feeling the way she did. Anxiety and depression always tended to make her see the worst in people and she really doesn’t want this to be one of those moments. He clearly didn’t deserve to be at the end of her stupid and manipulative anxiety. ‘Alright, Regina you got this.’ She repeated in her head like a mantra, pushing away the darker thoughts of her mind. “Okay. What’s on your mind?”  
  
Biting her lower lip, Regina waited for a moment. The long pause, she soonly realized, was the way of gathering all the thoughts in his head. Sometimes she forgets that behind his smile there’s a man whose heart had been broken as well as his mind. As difficult it was for her to hear whatever he was going to propose next, it was equally difficult for him to say. Then and there Regina felt ease even though it was rather rude to feel that way thanks to his insecurity. She will definitely be kicking herself over that for the next decade or two.  
  
  
“I got a proposition.” Beating around the bushes a little there pal but she’ll let it slide. “I was thinking that you and I should travel together.”  
  
Well, that was the furthest thing from her mind.  
  
“And before you say no, hear my plan out.” Regina could hear Robin taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. It was adorable that he felt so nervous, God knows that she would if she were proposing something like that to a person she met not so long ago (Who is she kidding here? When it comes to Robin everything was easy even if it didn’t look like it.) “I know you haven’t read the rest of the journal because you decided to read it again when you resume your travels. So, I was thinking that when you do, I can read it to you.” That was quite the tempting offer. His words were hypnotizing whenever she read it. Regina got so lost in them that the track of time than a forgotten notion. Imagining him reading to her had warmed her belly and made her heart leap. She couldn’t refuse it and to tell the truth, she had wanted to spend a bit more time with him without third parties always interrupting them. Though a quick thought bled into words.  
  
“I can always call you and have you read it to me.” She pointed out, hoping he doesn’t take it the wrong way.  
  
“I could.” He spoke thoughtfully, humming into the phone line. The hum was short and sweet, a sound that denotes peace. “But I really want to spend more time with you before everything begins going downhill and by downhill I mean—”  
  
“The case blowing up on us.” She finished without even thinking it twice. “Okay.” Regina sat up quickly, whiplash hitting her but she ignored it. “Let’s do it then. Let’s travel together.”  
  
When the line went silent for a very long time, Regina checked her phone to see if the call was still running, which it was. Again, she placed the communication device on her phone, but it was still pretty much silent and she inwardly panicked. Maybe Robin was starting to regret ever asking her. The thing about her mind it was tricky like that. Regina had the ability to work herself up in a matter of seconds and it was something she needed to work on. “Robin?” She asked tentatively, holding in a breath, teeth worrying her lower lip.  
  
“Yes, Sorry.” He apologized though it sounded like he was smiling. “I was surprised you said yes.”  
  
She is pretty surprised herself.  
  
“You made quite the compelling case.” A beat of silence, “And I want to spend more time with you as well.” The confession made her heart flutter and her stomach knot in such an intricate way that had her wondering if she would ever not feel this way. She hopes not. The feeling she gets when it comes to Robin was something that made her feel peace and if a little happiness comes knocking on her door, who is she to turn it away?  
  
Robin breathed out a laugh and Regina finally was able to breathe again. “To be honest I fully expected you to say no. I’ve never been gladder to be wrong.” It was her turn to laugh.  
  
“You did take me by surprise.” Regina went back to laying on the couch once more, oddly enough feeling more comfortable than before. “But I have to be honest, I sort of hoped that one day we could take a trip together. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.” This meant something, at least for her. It meant finally opening up, completely, the good, the bad and the ugly and boy there’s too much ugly in her life. But if Robin stuck around when Cora wanted him gone, then he was worth it. She hadn’t met someone who could upright tell her no but he did for her sake and it was in that moment where Regina finally realized that there are actually people (besides her father of course) that she mattered too. Sure, they haven’t known each other for a long time but the little time they actually spent together had given her more happiness than people she had to know for her entire lifetime.  
  
“I think we both will need the peace and quiet.” Wholly agree with that statement, Regina thought as she hummed into the phone.  
  
“So, when are we leaving?” Because she needed to get things in order. Talk to her father, and tell Malorie to quit being so reckless and…  
  
“Tomorrow.” There was sheepiness to his voice.  
  
“What?” This sat up straight, again, and this time she knows she won’t be laying down.  
  
“I said I wanted to do something for Valentine’s day.”  
  
“You said you didn’t celebrate it.” Regina shot back, baffled.  
  
“That doesn’t mean we can’t take advantage of the day.”  
Regina was speechless. Words died there on her tongue as she stared ahead. In her entire life, there was one thing she never was, spontaneous. Everything had been planned to the minor detail, even traveling. She had used Robin’s journal as a guideline, planned accordingly and experience something soul filling with each landing. This, this was new to her. Sure, she was going to continue on her self-exploration path as planned but with Robin rushing into it, felt like she was going in blind. It thrilled her, but at the same time made her anxiety spike.  
  
‘I need a drink.’  
  
The brunette thought to move towards the kitchen to grab whatever alcohol she had in the cabinets. Whiskey, that should do.  
  
“Regina?” No, it was him calling her and she released the driest of laughs.  
  
“Again, off guard.” She replied while pouring a hefty portion of whiskey.  
  
“I know but it is nice to be impulsive from time to time.” Sure it was easy for him to say seeing as he never been the type to keep organized. His writing suggested as much and so did Mal. But she wants to give him this, wants to see life through his eyes and maybe this was the way to do it. As scary as it felt to her.  
  
“This is brand new territory for me,” Regina confessed, taking a long swig of her drink. The burning sensation of the drink brought back down from the Robin induced high. “So you’ll have to be patient with me.”  
  
“For you, I’ll be as patient as a monk.”  
  
Regina laughed. “I’m taking your word for it.” After biting her lip and pacing around the kitchen, Mills stopped in front of the fridge looking at herself on the foggy, reflective surface. The fact that she was actually smiling made her shiver, static of excitement coursing through her veins. Whatever it might come, she was ready for it. “I’m going to start packing then.”  
  


 


End file.
